I’m Back —— loss of calve
When an illness — such as blindnes or dementia — Descends… Then Which direction of the heart Will you choose To mark the rising vibrance Of each new day’s stark, Hopeful radiance…?
Right after Christmas, as God blessed me with another birthday, I was jarred by the amputation of my right leg from just above the knee down. With it, my normal perception of myself as being one unit of mind/body was shaken, and, also, I felt all my usual desire to create any drawing or writing was lost. Altogether, I felt lost in some new, unrecognizeable reality. I was thrust into a a stage of grief, not aided by how completely the procedure took most all my physical strength away. The new scope of my abilities felt immesurably confused, (esp. for this former ballerina’s expectattions) while enduring the post-surgery hours of terrible pain . Now, at home & slowly imprving, the Holy Spirt gracd me with a message bolstering a new resolve —and touching my soul, and helping my life’s journey for new directions. This gave bitrth to the first poetry to speak its wisdom from deep within me after 3 months of silence. Its guiding words handed this thought-centered seeker of sollutions to a new way of seeing the tomorrows of the future, which would have me look to feelings & spirit …which brought me to tears as I wrote out these lines …(the permission & freedom to feel). I am thankful to Jim for his constant , loving care , and grateful for any best wishes, adn ntercessory prayerss seht up for me. This health problem due to the ravages of six decades of having Type 1 Diabetes continues its assult on various areas and systems of my body.The drs. talk of need to take my left leg (c) s.y. Eslinger 2024)
The poem referred to is the prelude to my-work still in progress — “On Phantom Pain “ - about the horrendous pain that loss of a limb can cause.
poem “On Phantom Pain” being posted now…
