Wise Guy Poems | Examples

Premium MemberIn a Fix

we may be somewhat immune
to the seeming randomness of fate
but near and dear ones opine otherwise
so do their emotes cause our heart to agitate

if we remain nonchalant which in truth we are
indifferent is deemed to be our attitude
whilst if we pretend to collaborate
it’s but an insincere platitude

such are unsolvable dilemmas we face every day
who’s the wise guy who said earth life is mere play
Categories: wise guy, humor, introspection,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberThe Means

what the hell's the problem
got mean's
what's his problem
wise man
wise guy
hope he's got grey
problem
Categories: wise guy, nonsense,
Form: Free verse


Premium MemberWhite Owl Knight

Their whispers became murmurs as they approached the gates of Ur.
It was the notoriously famous White Owl Knight, his heart ever pure.
As they approached, the children became completely silent now.
He was more glorious than they knew, his armor was a wow.

He did not say a word, or turn or blink a bit of an eye.
A beacon of chivalry and honor, he was a super wise guy.
They knew him as a champion, his tales of valor were known.
They left him his lunch on a large table rock, then swiftly turned home.

You get to do this every day? One of the new villagers said. 
No, it’s an honor we share until the White Owl Knight is dead.
The White Owl Knight smiled, as his ears heard them speak.
Death would never come, for ancestors take up for the meek.

His family had been showing themselves as guard for over a hundred years.
Ten grandsons and three greats means White Owl Knight will quell their fears.
The villagers like feeling they are protected by a man who is invincible.
White Owl Knight will keep on living forever if family is convincible.
Categories: wise guy, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberHey You Tableau

Hey you! tableau 

            Over here, quick zoom
            Film me, not the moon 
             Ignore that, barn owl
            Wise guy, big eyed fowl
              Shut up, crater head
           I just snapped, then fled

    
Tableau 2 Poetry Contest
   Sponsored by: Joseph May
 Picture 5 syllable counter PS 6x5
 28/03/2021
Categories: wise guy, allusion, bird, humorous, moon,
Form: Verse

The Mask 2020

"Face Covering Required" is posted on the door;
Oh God, not again.  Not at this store.

I just want to go in and shop with some ease;
But wearing the mask, I can hardly breathe. 

Is this helping me, or am I helping another?
Or is it just more restrictions from dreaded Big Brother?

I miss seeing the smile on those I pass by;
Are they friend or faux?  or some old wise guy?

More businesses are joining this farce every day;
Will they come to their senses?  I can only pray.

When I criticize the mask, I'm scared I'll offend.
But you can't please everyone, when will this end?
Categories: wise guy, community, culture, environment, feelings,
Form: Rhyme


Premium MemberI Am Not a Robot Part 2

Me a zombie?
Never!
Just a viral doofus poseur,
Brainiac and hacker on the loose tapping into other genie lamps,
Wireless Stikbot floater skipping ID challenge.
Hurdles that authenticate saliva from a silicone palate.
Trojan horse webber getting kicks from pop up photos and their tick box phasers.
Magic putty slideshows arfe my fix,
Overlapping gotchas in the cryptic mainframe,
zapped on sight.
Cookies nerd obsessive, parasitic nibbler on limitless net feeds,
Humanoid, human void,
vacuum mouse pad tracker ball bane.
Foxy email phisser,
wolf amid the Wiki swathes at random,
memory never full.
Sabouteur who pinpoints rootkit channels,
silently installing gridlock pixels deep freeze.
But I am not a robot,
just some micro chip app monger, macro chip on shoulder and those other parts designed by desktop surgeons,
sideline sci-fi wise guy not so wise,
hi-tech buff illusion in a hall of mirrors dash into the ether.
Me this CoderDojo mass encryption tangle,
blue moon barcode surfer, Janus-faced,
mutant bit part player who has somehow lost his byte!

Written January Twenty First Twenty Twenty
Categories: wise guy, color, computer, creation, fantasy,
Form: Prose Poetry

Boyfriend :: the Seranilla

You are friend, not old,
neighbour's grandchild told.
let's go for a walk
we'll sit on that rock.

And you'll tell story,
not on king's glory.
You'll continue till
evening, and it's chill.

She had lot of plan;
Don't know how I can
keep on to please her
afraid of her blur.

To fulfil her wish
practising to whish
or walking in squish
learn to swim with swish.

If fail to comply
lose rank of wise guy.
Threat to this boyfriend
if tries to contend.

It's become habit
to hear that rapid
call follow me, walk
fast, fast to that rock.
~x~
Categories: wise guy, friend,
Form: Verse

Words To Live By

Follow your camels to the desert
Take a right turn at the next stop sign
Eat vanilla yogurt with strawberries
Get your digestive system right...now!
Count your blessings except the last one
Have sex within your species 
Avoid complications in breeding
Shop at markets that are open
Eat at Joe's if you have money
Eat donuts with holes 
Make sure the middle remains when you leave
Leave a tip for the waitress
Have her baby if she is friendly
Buy a dog, a cat and a mattress
Sleep in the desert
Count the humps on your camels
Make sure they have the right amount
Watch the sun go down
Make sure there is only one
Remind yourself which planet you are from
Travel to the stars but only in your mind
Wear a sweater because it is cold out there
Laugh and cry every day of your life
Be a wise guy and if you are a girl be a wise girl
Know that you are alive before you die

*Do not die without permission (It must be in writing)
Have a degree in writing (Temperatures not included)
Categories: wise guy, animal, appreciation, death, life,
Form: Didactic

Not Crazy Words

A man from Brazil
          wanted handle me a cannon
          to solve confusion with a shot
         but not not being beast of burden
         I told him to suck on the steel
          being a soap licker
         or becoming a ice dryer...

         

            "SMART"
         Some assume they are smart
         and have a hyper bright Q I
         just for having a DR title
         and be known for SIR
         when they are stupid and
         insane...

             Drudge
         There is a northeast man
         that realized to be the biggest 
         but only lived on decoys
        thinking to be a wise guy
        just being the plague goat ....!

            POLITICAL
       Almost every politician is excused
       in light seeks the dark
      speak  lies as  truth
      this is his pure reality
      because indeed are intruders ...!
Categories: wise guy, allusion, creation, funny, humorous,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberTotie Fields

The holidays would leave no room
for cutting calories.

Totie Fields,
we laughed a ton.

Not a breeze to go from two twenty
to two nineteen,

the wise guy comedienne
would surmise.

6/20/2019
*1970’s Comedienne - The price of her book on amazon $227!
Categories: wise guy, woman,
Form: Free verse

The One and Only

I'm a poet and they're saying I got my own style,
I'm wild and vile in how I lay out the tile, no denial.
singers like Elvis Pressley, there was only one,
only one Michael Jackson, a one not some.
so do it your own way and impress thee,
don't stress if you're not how the rest be.
there's only one Eminem and 2Pac, 
the rest just couldn't do that.
I'm a singular impact, 
singing like a dingbat.
now on a roll, a male Marilyn Monroe,
head to toe, I'm like no one you know,
rolling rhyme rules and I'm holding the flow.

I'm Nick Trim they took the mickey,
I seemed dim they made me seem silly,
but look at me now..... look at my big willy,
a witty wise guy born and raised in Bath City.
Categories: wise guy, humorous, rap,
Form: Rhyme

I Just Don'T Get English

It is pointless to write with dull pencils
When a pen keeps the sheep safe at night.

And water can flow from a hole in the ground
As long as the spring’s not too tight.

Cargo is sent from a shipyard
But a shipment can go out by car.

A wise man is often superior
But a wise guy is usually subpar

Tonight I will drive down the parkway,
Yet park in the driveway at home.

No wonder I can’t speak this language
It only makes sense in a poem!


© Dean Wood
Oct. 26, 2017
Categories: wise guy, funny, humor,
Form: Light Verse

Joey Fatone


You don’t wanna meet Joey Fatone 
He’s a Jersey Devil
with a Tasmanian attitude

Street whispers say, 
“Baby” is a notch below
asylum certifiable

A wise guy, gator gait    bad to the bone
Known to go postal   ...   jungle level
Joey loves giving dirt naps, 
so don’t keep the short talk       too long

Lives Cajun mean     dirty down low  in the Big Easy,
made Papa Justify give him the Skeleton Key
Stay behind the yellow line ... don’t cross the “Baby”

Always traveled light: Ruby and a burner phone
The Devil adored his metallic Black widow
Mixing business  with  pleasure was money fun to do

Fatone’s fist: shook  rattle  them numbered bones;
what you didn’t say, he never wanted to know
Best hit man for hire ... won’t pay the cleaner bill too

You don’t wanna meet Bobby Falcone
He’s a Bowery Hell’s Angel
with a Transylvanian diablo attitude ...
Categories: wise guy, dark, death, evil, violence,
Form: Burlesque

I

I, no bigger than a fly, in mind's eye is sometimes labeled, a wise guy, bad guy, a good guy and none of those do I deny.

Because I can deversity, which is why I cry, is shy, lie, can fly, don't ever have to leave the ground to get very high and not by becoming glassy eyed nor pie eyed but Edified.

Although, I love to signify about the only three that qualify, while being too preoccupied with me, myself and I.

Then will turn around, hit a sacrifice fly just so someone else can get their piece of the pie. Because I can hear their outcry and must stop turning a blind I.

Thereby I is qualified to testify when things are good or when they go awry. Why? And who am I. Personified.
Categories: wise guy, america, appreciation, beautiful, conflict,
Form: Rhyme

I Shall Never See You Again

you are aware of it
even I'm aware of it
that parallel are going to be our ways
we might never see each other again
but getting away from me,my thoughts are  in which you will forever remain
your presence was like a fountain
which is full of love rather than rain
your absence is going to give me a tremendous pain
forever which is going to remain
1 year later
the summer is coming,the summer is going
but the season of sadness is never seem to be get finish
all the happiness which were previously
in my life have gone
but there's  one grief which never seem to postpone
these eyes have cried for you
these eyes remain awaken all night waiting for you
I just wanted to remind you that
where ever you go never forget 
that somebody is living for you
where ever you go remain safe
because somebody is living for you 
that's only what my heart wants
the terrors of forgeting you are which
always haunts
I wanted to know that whether you are safe or not
but a wise guy told me that
don t ask questions you don t wanted to know the answers to
Categories: wise guy, break up, emotions, fear,
Form: Romanticism

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