Dean Wood Poet Light Verse

I Just Don'T Get English

It is pointless to write with dull pencils
When a pen keeps the sheep safe at night.

And water can flow from a hole in the ground
As long as the spring’s not too tight.

Cargo is sent from a shipyard
But a shipment can go out by car.

A wise man is often superior
But a wise guy is usually subpar

Tonight I will drive down the parkway,
Yet park in the driveway at home.

No wonder I can’t speak this language
It only makes sense in a poem!


© Dean Wood
Oct. 26, 2017

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Line Gauthier January 10, 2025 at 1:21 PM lol Dean ~ a fun poem

Suzanne Delaney December 19, 2023 at 4:31 AM Seems like there a lots of opportunities for wordplay in our language. I enjoyed your clever expose this morning. Cheers, SuZ

Andrea Dietrich September 19, 2018 at 5:41 PM very cute. It reminds me of some of the forwards I have sent people regarding the weird stuff about English and its spellings Except yours is poetic! Dean Wood October 8, 2018 at 11:17 AM Thanks Andrea. I am so glad I grew up with this crazy language. I would hate to have to learn it from scratch!

Becca Teagan September 17, 2018 at 8:53 AM This is so cute, Dean! The English language can be so confusing, especially for those who learn it as a second language. Dean Wood September 17, 2018 at 8:57 AM Thanks Becca. So good to see that you are still checking in once in a while. I hope all is going well for you.

Kim Rodrigues September 12, 2018 at 7:13 AM The English language fun to lampoon! :) Dean Wood September 12, 2018 at 4:03 PM It it deserves every bit of it! Thanks Kim!

M. L. Kiser September 12, 2018 at 4:44 AM Well, that'a another "Fav" for me; thanks for a super read. Dean Wood September 12, 2018 at 4:03 PM You flatter me M.L. Thank you for your buoying comment.

Rico Leffanta September 11, 2018 at 8:48 PM The penultimate is THE winner! Aloha! Rico Dean Wood September 12, 2018 at 4:02 PM I like that one too Rico. It makes me shake my head in wonder!

Connie Marcum Wong September 11, 2018 at 6:48 PM With so many double meanings, some triple and quadruple meanings for the same words, no wonder English is one of the most difficult languages to learn. You have demonstrated this cleverly in your poem Dean. My daughter in law is from Japan and has struggled with being understood for many years. I give her a lot of credit in learning to speak English so well. My son speaks Japanese and taught English in Japan, but his wife speaks circles around him. : ) Dean Wood September 12, 2018 at 4:01 PM Interesting Connie. I spent two years in Japan myself and taught my share of English classes. It is harder to teach than it is to speak! Thanks for your time and comment!

Rhona Mcferran September 11, 2018 at 6:30 PM Clever use of homonyms... Nicely written! (No wonder English is so confusing as a second language!) Dean Wood September 12, 2018 at 3:59 PM Precisely Rhonda! Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

Ilene Bauer September 11, 2018 at 5:30 PM very clever, dean! great rhyme, too... Dean Wood September 12, 2018 at 3:58 PM Thank you Ilene! Although at least one of those rhymes was subpar.