When I wed sweet Raylene, her hair was pure gold,
And she was the prettiest thirteen-year-old.
But now she's a plump as a pickerel frog,
'Cos she's had more babies than BillyBob's hog.
Chorus
Oh, Raylene's a mommy agin,
Yeah, Raylene's a mommy agin,
Now what in tarnation
Goes down on vacation?
'Cos Raylene's a mommy agin.
When August comes callin', it's pack up and head
To a shack on Blue Bayou, where the catfish are red.
November, and she's in the family way,
And regler as clockwork, it pops out in May.
Chorus
Our trailer is bustin' apart at the seams.
We've got enough kids for four volleyball teams.
We cain't have no more. You can bet your last dime,
I'm taking Raylene on vacation next time.
Chorus
What in tarnation is reincarnation
Could we come back as a piece of toast?
Or do you think that death is just that
The end, it's over, adios?
Some get passionate about the subject
But nobody knows for certain
When we finally take our very last breath
Is it really the final curtain?
Here's my humble opinion on the subject
It's over when the fat lady sings
But I'm open to other ideas on the subject
I wouldn't mind another fling
Guess this old guy is much too realistic
Watching shows bout the universe on TV
Can't believe how infinitesimal we are
As insignificant as a little old flea
So now you know my thoughts on the subject
Hope we can still all be friends
Maybe one day we'll find out the answer
When we finally come to the end
The feel of mud oozing between my toes
Watching an ant going about its business,
Bizarre ideas crossing my mind are those
Causing my brain to spiral into dizziness.
I am captivated by silly, mundane things
That no one else would think of trying,
Like writing a poem about guitar strings
Or feeling elation when a mouse is dying.
I need no affirmation for small trivialities
Merely recognizing that they do exist
Acknowledging my need for frivolities,
I could mention a few more on my list!
Things that captivate my full attention
Are those things pricking my imagination
There are far too many to get a mention,
Making me exclaim, "What in tarnation!"
Written October 6, 2022
What in tarnation is reincarnation
Could we come back as a piece of toast?
Or do you think that death is just that
The end, it's over, adios?
Some get passionate about the subject
But nobody knows for certain
When we finally take our very last breath
Is it really the final curtain?
Here's my humble opinion on the subject
It's over when the fat lady sings
But I'm open to other ideas on the subject
I wouldn't mind another fling
Guess this old guy is much too realistic
Watching shows bout the universe on TV
Can't believe how infinitesimal we are
As insignificant as a little old flea
So now you know my thoughts on the subject
Hope we can still all be friends
Maybe one day we'll find out the answer
When we finally come to the end
Would you like to tickle my doodle
I'll tickle yours if you also toot my bugle
What in tarnation
Is causing my palpitations
Caused by a game of lacrosse quite brutal
7/27/17
Going into light and dark places
With a steady pulse or as my heart races
What in tarnation
I see so much greed and starvation
Here to change the world
Whether or not using objects that are straight or curled
I'll still give it a whirl
Maintaining composure
It's far from over
But getting closer
Similar and varying degrees
The will to succeed
Knowing I shall bleed
I won't give up so long as I can still breathe
In and out of orbit
This is no horseshit
I'm not going to forfeit
I'm all game for it
Whether or not I have to use a forklift
What in tarnation is reincarnation
Could we come back as a piece of toast?
Or do you think that death is just that
The end, it's over, adios?
Some get passionate about the subject
But nobody knows for certain
When we finally take our very last breath
Is it really the final curtain?
Here's my humble opinion on the subject
It's over when the fat lady sings
But I'm open to new ideas on the subject
I wouldn't mind another fling
Guess this old guy is much too realistic
Watching the space shows on TV
Can't believe how infinitesimal we are
As insignificant as a little old flea
So now you know my thoughts on the subject
Hope we can still all be friends
Maybe one day we'll find out the answer
When we finally come to the end
© Jack Ellison 2013
They said “he went on a bender”
What in tarnation is a bender
And what is “tarnation” anyway
Is English still on the agenda?
“Befuddled” is another strange word
Think it means all “verschimmelt”
What in hell does verschimmelt mean
Not even sure how it's spelt
“Winklepickers” are boots from the 60s
It's not often used in a poem
So obsessed by strange sounding words
They keep popping up in my dome
Can't get off this weird word kick
The stranger the word the better
Dreamt I was champ in a spelling bee
The last word had seventeen letters
Well so much for my “braggadocio”
Or boasting as the dictionary says
Guess I sound pretty high on myself
Think I might even run for Prez!
© Jack Ellison 2013
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