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Vicar Poems - Poems about Vicar


Limericks Written In A Country Churchyard
There once was a sensitive vicar, who said, "I'm not one to bicker, but the peal of that bell, makes me feel quite unwell, and plays merry hell with my ticker." An incensed old soul by the spire, preaching incense-igniting to the choir, exclaimed, "There is but one catch, when striking a match, don't set your surplice on fire." A parson spoke from the nave, "Spend...

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Categories: vicar, humorous, philosophy, poems,
Form: Limerick
the sad vicar
the sad vicar The vicar walks in front of the funeral procession appears a bit wobbly, perhaps due to elderliness eyes are watery, and the smell of lotion is too strong  He lost faith years ago praying in churches, asking  to be released from his throbbing masculinity  which left him affairs with female parishioners past their first youth, but with adult feelings...

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Categories: vicar, abortion, absence, adventure, age,
Form: Free verse



The Worlds Most Difficult Announcement
A sure ear-bursting announcement: It shall walls vibrate: pronouncement A knight’s last-hour confession: Banging the pregnant profession… “I can’t. I will not! Where is he? Don’t even mention any fee May be, The Vicar should do so Here’s the microphone as I go…” “Who feels fine hanging on a tree What makes Conscience cease to be free. Recovery I see damned slow, Numbness...

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Categories: vicar, evil, humanity, image, religion,
Form: Rhyme
Premium Member The Vicar Spied a Spider
I need to grab my bible but all I can do is stare For it’s stood up all by itself on that shelf over there And between me and it there is a spider on the roam Why on Earth do spiders like it so much in my home I have a pocket bible upstairs in my bedside drawer But...

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Categories: vicar, fear,
Form: Rhyme
The Vicar and the Alien
I'm sure the creature fell from outer space; I found a crater with its capsule in - it crawled towards me then, devoid of kin, with tentacles and multi-coloured face. I shouted, 'Welcome to the human race' and thought the waving movements of its limbs  responded to my idea: singing hymns. I sang in tenor, baritone and bass, and said, 'Perhaps you'd like to...

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Categories: vicar, immigration,
Form: Rhyme



Premium Member The Vicar's Visit
A siren from North Carolina Once suffered from chronic angina. Her dear beau found a cure Of endearing allure - He bought her a talkative mynah! His goddess he loved calling Venus, For "passionate love shared between us". When the vicar came by, The brash mynah let fly: "We're lucky the Priest hasn't seen us!"...

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Categories: vicar, humorous, relationship,
Form: Limerick
Premium Member The Knickerless Vicar - Contains Innuendo :- Collaboration With Nina Parmenter
For a man of the cloth, our dear vicar is not very partial to clothes He is almost allergic to trousers and y-fronts get right up his nose. Ev’ry Sunday as he climbs in the pulpit (where the choir boys are sitting below) His meat and two veg are seen swinging And it’s proof that he is commando The ladies who bake and...

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Categories: vicar, clothes,
Form: Rhyme
A Promise For the Vicar
It’s a lovely Sunday morning with the sun up in the sky; birds are singing out a spring tune, and some just fly on by, but this morning so serene is about to quick transform, where there is not a cloud but one assembling storm. My family and I arrived, for church on Sunday morn. My wife and daughter, our...

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Categories: vicar, humor,
Form: Rhyme
Vicar of Bray
There was a dear Vicar of Bray, Fell out of his pulpit one day. Jumping up, said I’m fine, Too much Communion wine, That inebriated Vicar of Bray....

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Categories: vicar, drink, funny, gospel, humorous,
Form: Limerick
The Vicar Vamooses
The Vicar Vamooses By Elton Camp The pope’s resignation stuns the world The year 1415 was the last time it took place The resignation of a pope the hierarchy to face Others have held tight to their perceived mission Regardless of their physical or mental condition An unusual situation the Vatican will then face An independent state without any ruler in place Nobody’s...

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Categories: vicar, religion,
Form: Rhyme
The Old Vicar
An old man sits on a churchyard bench with his memories of times long ago. When he was the Vicar of the church and the people he’d come to know. He recalls when he married a couple on an almost perfect summer’s day. And how with joy in their young faces they knelt there before him to pray. He remembers when...

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Categories: vicar, lifeold, people, old, people,
Form: Rhyme

Book: Reflection on the Important Things