Vicar Poems - Poems about Vicar

Limericks Written In A Country Churchyard

There once was a sensitive vicar,
who said, "I'm not one to bicker,
but the peal of that bell,
makes me feel quite unwell,
and plays merry hell with my ticker."

An incensed old soul by the spire,
preaching incense-igniting to the choir,
exclaimed, "There is but one catch,
when striking a match,
don't set your surplice on fire."

A parson spoke from the nave,
"Spend

Categories: vicar, humorous, philosophy, poems,
Form: Limerick

the sad vicar

the sad vicar

The vicar walks in front of the funeral procession
appears a bit wobbly, perhaps due to elderliness
eyes are watery, and the smell of lotion is too strong 
He lost faith years ago praying in churches, asking 
to be released from his throbbing masculinity 
which left him affairs with female parishioners
past their first youth, but with adult feelings

Categories: vicar, abortion, absence, adventure, age,
Form: Free verse

The Worlds Most Difficult Announcement

A sure ear-bursting announcement:
It shall walls vibrate: pronouncement 
A knight’s last-hour confession:
Banging the pregnant profession…

“I can’t. I will not! Where is he?
Don’t even mention any fee
May be, The Vicar should do so 
Here’s the microphone as I go…”

“Who feels fine hanging on a tree
What makes Conscience cease to be free. 
Recovery I see damned slow,
Numbness

Categories: vicar, evil, humanity, image, religion,
Form: Rhyme

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

The Vicar Spied a Spider

I need to grab my bible but all I can do is stare
For it’s stood up all by itself on that shelf over there
And between me and it there is a spider on the roam
Why on Earth do spiders like it so much in my home

I have a pocket bible upstairs in my bedside drawer
But

Categories: vicar, fear,
Form: Rhyme

The Vicar and the Alien

I'm sure the creature fell from outer space;
I found a crater with its capsule in -
it crawled towards me then, devoid of kin,
with tentacles and multi-coloured face.
I shouted, 'Welcome to the human race'
and thought the waving movements of its limbs 
responded to my idea: singing hymns.
I sang in tenor, baritone and bass,
and said, 'Perhaps you'd like to

Categories: vicar, immigration,
Form: Rhyme

The Vicar's Visit

A siren from North Carolina
Once suffered from chronic angina.
Her dear beau found a cure
Of endearing allure -
He bought her a talkative mynah!

His goddess he loved calling Venus,
For "passionate love shared between us".
When the vicar came by,
The brash mynah let fly:
"We're lucky the Priest hasn't seen us!"

Categories: vicar, humorous, relationship,
Form: Limerick

The Knickerless Vicar - Contains Innuendo :- Collaboration With Nina Parmenter

For a man of the cloth, our dear vicar
is not very partial to clothes
He is almost allergic to trousers
and y-fronts get right up his nose.

Ev’ry Sunday as he climbs in the pulpit
(where the choir boys are sitting below)
His meat and two veg are seen swinging
And it’s proof that he is commando

The ladies who bake and

Categories: vicar, clothes,
Form: Rhyme

A Promise For the Vicar

It’s a lovely Sunday morning with the sun up in the sky;
birds are singing out a spring tune, and some just fly on by,
but this morning so serene is about to quick transform,
where there is not a cloud but one assembling storm.

My family and I arrived, for church on Sunday morn.
My wife and daughter, our

Categories: vicar, humor,
Form: Rhyme

Vicar of Bray

There was a dear Vicar of Bray,
Fell out of his pulpit one day.
Jumping up, said I’m fine,
Too much Communion wine,

That inebriated Vicar of Bray.

Categories: vicar, drink, funny, gospel, humorous,
Form: Limerick

The Vicar Vamooses

The Vicar Vamooses 

By Elton Camp

The pope’s resignation stuns the world

The year 1415 was the last time it took place
The resignation of a pope the hierarchy to face

Others have held tight to their perceived mission
Regardless of their physical or mental condition

An unusual situation the Vatican will then face
An independent state without any ruler in place

Nobody’s

Categories: vicar, religion,
Form: Rhyme

The Old Vicar

An old man sits on a churchyard bench
with his memories of times long ago. 
When he was the Vicar of the church
 and the people he’d come to know.

He recalls when he married a couple
on an almost perfect summer’s day.
And how with joy in their young faces
they knelt there before him to pray.

He remembers when

Categories: vicar, lifeold, people, old, people,
Form: Rhyme