So, stranded on Framingham Turnpike,
I walked from the corpse of my Vette
(Unsure just what gasoline burns like),
as far as my high heels could get.
The tow trucker guy got my blood up,
his big chest all covered in hair.
He wordlessly lifted the hood up,
and studied the engine with care.
I’d let the poor pistons get wet, or
my battery somehow went flat?
He said, “Crap in the damn carburetor.”
“How often, dude, must I do that?”
I always had Angie Under My Thumb,
one day I heard her honking her car horn.
What had she just done with her anger,
my candy apple red vette she did Paint It Black.
She was yelling back at me,
You Can't Always Get What You Want.
Now I will Tumblin Dice for release,
my new car is a big mess.
Her blue Mustang car playing The Rolling Stones,
a car of Wild Horses sped off in a flash.
No more Honky Tonk Women for me,
guess I will go back to my old friend Ruby Tuesday.
This document is classified
TOP SECRET – BURN BEFORE READING
TOP SECRET – commit contents to memory and then destroy yourself
TOP SECRET – if my wife finds out I’m in big trouble
TOP SECRET – and it will stay that way until I find my glasses
TOP SECRET – let’s take it for a ride and “Vette” it
And the ever popular
TOP SECRET…..that just went right over his head….
John G. Lawless
©1/15/2023
VAROOOM!! Listen to my honey purr.
Better to me than being wrapped in fur.
Come take a look at my 77' Corvette,
worth every penny tho' now I'm in debt.
She sits on a very sturdy C-2 chassis.
I love the way she makes me feel classy.
Brand new rims made of finest chrome,
staying clean, kept in my garage at home.
She gets attention from the opposite sex.
Here's my cute neighbor. "Hi there, Dex.
Take a look at what's under her hood."
"Whew," he whistled. "Sure lookin' good."
I didn't know if he meant the vette or me
with her 350 engine, I couldn't disagree.
Maybe it was her paint job he liked best,
Black Rose Metallic, he'd already guessed.
Dex told me he had one, an exact match.
I smiled knowing I'd hauled in my catch.
He asked if he could take us for a drive.
"Buckle up, Baby, I wanna keep you alive."
We slid across her seats of black leather,
Lookin' so fine, cruisin' 'round together.
My sweet vette was worth all the money.
Got Dex to notice me. Now he's my honey.
December 4th 2015
For Women Only~Car Contest
Sponsor: Poet Destroyer
Do I want a waffle, or do I want a pancake?
Do I want a black eye, or do I want a belly ache?
Do I want an Edsel, or do I want a 'Vette?
Should I take a Train, Or fly in a Jet?
Is the weather cold outside, or is it very hot?
Is there boogers in my nose, or is it just some snot?
The bed is very soft, and I cannot sleep so sound
I should leave the city, and move myself downtown
If you have an Apple, and your grades are low
give it to the teacher, and cover it with snow
Dazzle'em with brilliance, and never let it show
that if you had any brains, it would surely show
So if the preachers talking, and you are drawing breath
it was exaggerated about your timely death
your mother told you plainly, an orphan you would be
if you did not dot your "I's", and cross your capital "T's".
so listen very carefully, and try to imagine how
you do not live in the past, your life happens now
THE COCKTAIL PARTY
Have some bills
need to work
after hours with
lots of jerks
got to party
got to smile
got to waste my time awhile
take a glass
kiss smile kiss
don’t remember
who is this
take a glass
take another
oh you’re iforgothims brother!
Yes I saw you at a show
Oh I saw you at the Met
Danny’s mother’s got good blow
Sammy’s sister bought a 'Vette
Have some wine
Have another
Where’s my ride
There’s his brother
Take me home
Get me there
Do it fast
Don’t know
How long I’m going to last
Take me home
Get me there,
'fraid I pull
Some bimbo’s hair
Safe at home
I’m alright
Kept my job
Another night
The vortex dropped as it crossed the lake
and lifted the water in its wake.
Stunned, we ran into the hall
and waited for the roof to fall.
How odd it was, we heard no sound,
as giant oaks crashed to the ground,
We heard no sound of breaking glass,
in merely seconds, it had passed.
In shock and awe, we crept outside,
and viewed the twister's homicide,
great trees were broken, snapped like sticks,
so much damage, done so quick.
The adjuster came and viewed the wreck,
and then he started writing checks.
He gave us more for our old car
than we had even bought it for.
He gave us money for junk in the yard,
that we had been ready to discard.
We fixed the roof, paid the yard guys,
and had money left over to our surprise.
We got a new car, the most beautiful 'Vette,
and managed to pay off some of our debt.
Our car note is less than the old one was,
this tragedy was a gift from above.
Both figuratively and literally, it was a windfall
and we can only stand enthralled,
So it's true all clouds have a silver lining,
and God's love is true, in darkness shining.
©Danielle White