Pain n' suffering each n' every day,
Pasting on a smile...
Just to push a disguise,
Never truly knowing the pain I actually go through...
Truly, unwise....
Pretending all is ok n' well,
Just never knowing the actual, is a shell...
Mostly... unwell,
Fully suffering in pain...
Not just my body,
Not just my head...
My heart, the constant ache of needing more...
Praying for others to just, "understand"
Begging for the higher powers,
To just "take it all away"...
No longer wanting to push through another day,
I truly don't know how to make it another way...
I sit n' cry,
Truly wondering... Why?
Permanently damaged...
Now I ask, how do I manage?
Feeling so unwell,
Almost as if in a Hell.
Almost like I am
Under some sort of a spell.
Hoping soon I will be well.
Here I sit on a swivel chair
One afternoon, bright and fair
Inside a room of concrete and glass
Trying to unease my ass
Oh! Lord, please help me get my focus
For I've been in a long hiatus
Barely existing like a ghost
A lonely worm without a host
Lord I think I am unwell
But only my deep brain could tell
It was a sleepless night
Harnessed with discomforts
Soft cushions felt like rocks of ages
Body felt as cracks of thirsty dams
Finally got up and crawled
Downstairs to the kitchen
In search of edibles
Took coffee with a chilly pie
Mesmerized by the sound of wind
I tiptoed outside to catch a sight
Got a snarl of feelings
Like a skein of thread
Stared at the night sky
Quite in sound and loud in lights
Freaky crickets chirp
From beneath grasses.
Leaning on the glass rails,
A cool breeze struck through
This had me now in jumpsuits.
Got a little comfort until sunrise
I felt chills in the morning
Had to visit a physician
The numerous beeps posed fright
Yet it was unavoidable
Multiple tests were conducted
Results revealed parasites in blood
Got a connection with a drip
I was very unwell.
My sister is unwell
Taken by ambulance
First we heard she had sepsis
Then we heard she has Covid
Third diagnosis was a broken T-1 disc
Which means a broken neck
What? This was after the second ambulance ride
And a chiropractor adjustment in between
Surgery is imminent we are told
Then surgery is optional
Now she has pneumonia
I was told by someone who may know
She is saying this because she does not believe in Covid.
I dread picking up the phone now.
The politeness ate at itself until what was left; the bare bones of anger.
This rage didn't find pleasure in the company of others.
It sat in a corner, conjuring up schemes that slowly collected dust.
There by his side, laid a mysterious book, when opened revealed nothing but vacant pages.
In the dampness of the couch, he sat staring into it mumbling feverishly.
What seemed to outdo eternity, suddenly a swift motion surprised his own senses.
His hand found the finely carved wrinkles around her neck, carefully tracing where it ended.
Like a complex map, her body reflected old age yet a strange sense of innocence.
He found mad pleasure in seeing such purity in her worn soul vehicle.
The ritual was about to take place, euphoria suddenly occupying his vision.
Winter of terror filled her whites while her weak arms tried to push him away.
Bloodshot and blue, her limbs merged with the furniture; cold and unconscious.
Unwell
worn out bard
as if fading
to the end of time – then
repel
05/14/16
12:40 am
Cough cough splutter splutter
Wheezing breath with every word I utter
Sniff sniff sneeze sneeze
Aches and pains i'm on my knees
Wish this cold would leave me be
Must keep warm or I'll freeze
Even my best friend can't tell
That I just don't feel well,
Nothing's right, it's all wrong
Though I try to stay strong,
But all I feel is weak
And sometimes these eyes leak,
Yet even my so-called best friend can't tell
That I'm definitely,
Unwell...
Never make one alone & unwell...
Oh God, not both at the same time !
Better give him a couple of passes to Hell...
I articulate this from the experience of mine...!
It is really an overdose....
Like insult added to injury !
When melancholy slowly grows...
Along with the clouds of misery !
There is really none to share
Or reduce the pangs of the disease
One encounters alone....his depression & despair
And the endless mood of unease...!
Make one unwell when someone else
Is there to deprive the disease of obscurity
Because breathes are a disease when loneliness dwells
Being unwell is an unfair insecurity...!
My stomach speaks
But I am not hungry
To be eased in a single sigh
Is what my vomit seeks
Release viral infections from me
I seem troubled, unwell
Like my eternity has doubled
Darkness dwells
As if our sun failed
Flowers blossom
As I still appear weary
The oceans still rumble
Beneath all the commotion
One can hear the earth mumble
As this old man appears to be on his last leg
His devotion remains to forever stand humble
Yes I seem troubled, unwell
Like my eternity has doubled
Darkness dwells
As if our son has failed
The spirit is striving to obtain perfection.
However, his goal is marred by his selection.
His once pure heart is now filled with tainted desire.
For all that he cares about is power being acquired.
After he realizes what he has done, it's too late.
For in his wake is the havoc he did create.
He turns back to his loving friends for support.
Unfortunately he thinks there is no hope so he must abort.
He looks to the heavens for an answer.
All that he sees are images that are blurred.
Alone he says, "I need help", before he fell.
He is not crazy but he is unwell.
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