Testicles Poems | Examples

Fish

Fish

Fish can breathe out of 
water when:
the moon cries, possums get diarrhoea or 
dance to 
bongo drums in 
acid rain storms, insults alight, testicles break out in 
hives, oil brushes speak up about 
pot hole problems, and 
toy lambs have thousands of
able to be done interpretations about
some things.

Sanity Loosely Defined

{Halloween the norm?)

(Warning! -- not suitable for children 
to read nor for folks presently having
mental issues.  This short work is very 
graphic and emotionally disturbing)

Sanity Loosely Defined

Is that a pimple to be punctured
or a sacred breast?

could they be real severed little-boy
testicles, fresh and raw, entree
for modern day 
medical cannibals?~

arranged appealingly on 
a ritual Progressive Plate
baked in dried flesh flour 
for once human turned demon
to revoltingly devour?!

Sacrilegious Alternative Venue, 

Culinary Institute of the New World Order 

all inclusive Satanic Menu --

chestnuts roasting over an open fire

My cousin Finn was raving about the new dish at Claude’s Diner.
There is no appetizer better, truly nothing finer.
They call it Chestnuts roasting over an Open Fire.
I had to run out and try it, I had such a desire!

Are you sure? Asked the waitress, my Auntie Maude.
Oh, yes, I said, staring past her at the cook Mr. Claude.
Claude began cooking and Maude left, her grin bright.
Guess what it is? She asked as I gave the dish another big bite.

Chestnuts? I guessed, but it truly tasted much more like meat.
You are not even close, she told me. Do you think they are sweet?
The best of the best. What is the secret? What special stuff does he put in?
Mountain oysters, or deep fried bull testicles, said my amused cousin, Finn.

Teaching Highlights

Been teaching for nigh on fifty years,
Became a tutor later, my dears,
I've taught a bit of everything,
Maths and literacy my bells ring,
Teaching highlights can be fun,
When these Einsteins were so young,
An octopus has eight testicles,
I did read that with my spectacles,
Mozart sailed to Vietnam, you know,
We lost Vienna on the overthrow,
"We don't need no education!" they sang,
I made them do sums after lunch bell rang,
We gave them education somehow,
Despite being such fat old cows,
Need GSOH for this teaching gig,
Coaching treasures to dream really big!

Manson the Surgeon

Manson, the surgeon.

I know of a famous neuro-surgeon who retired at 65
to write a book that made him more famous 
Now he is 72 and has cancer of the testicles, life
in the fast lane has ended.
In the night, he is visited by patients who died
on his table or left in a vegetive state, this I think
is caused by him performing surgery when he knew
the outcome
 He tells the dead, he followed procedure, somehow
this sounds like “Follow orders” is what the guilty of 
war crimes say.
He worries about getting old and decrepit needing a nurse
to wipe his bum, so undignified for a famous man.
When he visits his hospital where he reigned supreme
he is forgotten except for the relic of a porter who
salutes him, he is glad for that.
The newer generation sees him as an old man coming
for his checkup and treats him with hurried nonchalance.
Sic Gloria Mundi.

Malapropism

The Science teacher told his eager class
"Alas, I can’t read without my eye glass
In rest room, left my testicles"
What he meant was ‘spectacles’
The children broke into laughter en masse

Grateful For Flesh

if   veins pulsed with liquid gold
we'd be lucky to last one night
victims to pyrite hearted souls
who'd suck us dry before first light-

if   eyes and tongues were made of gems
they'd soon be plucked for prophet
by bands of blind and greedy men
leaving mimes chained to purple sockets

if   our arms and legs were made of ivory
we'd be cornered then quickly quartered 
by hoards of desperados and poachers
for the sake of filling godless dowries

if   souls were woven from emerald
and hearts made of glowing rubies 
they'd pillage then refill with emptiness
and echo the walk of the walking dead

thank god testicles aren't made of pearls

Amorous Venus

Opalescent Goddess Venus
born of the sea, rising from the severed testicles of her father
Transmogrified from pearls, created out of love 
daughter of Caelus 
her mother the sea 

Sensuous Goddess Venus 
Mother of Cupid and androgynous Hermaphroditus 
Living her life her own way,
Taking a variety of lovers
Attempting to fulfill her sensuous appetites

Voracious Venus, with an enormous sexual appetite 
Clandescent meetings with her lover Mars
Causing her husband Vulcan anguish and anger 
after tearing her clothes in grief at the death of Adonis
One of her many lovers

I Miss U

I am glad you have found another heart
You took my pain and reversed it from the start

Hope has no place for you and I my love 
Your shallow words thou inked meaningless of

A delicate palate tasteful yet scurvy I say
A bouquet of flowers so quaint to ocular appeal for a day

Oh love I see through your scandalous ways 
If it pleases you may your testicles be eaten by blue jays 

Mother warned me of men like you
I should have listened what am I to do

For once a heart loves it is hard to retreat 
Dare I remove my heart and suffer defeat

I fear my words shall fall on deaf ears 
A sharp blade my heart suffers all arrears.

Whip Em Off - For What Makes You Flinch Contest

Uneasy and queasy cos my TV set
Is showing another celebrity vet
My legs are crossed tight, just as tight as they get
Has that little dog lost his testicles yet

While eating my lunch, or was it my dinner
The cat on the screen getting thinner and thinner
The head vet was busy, so here’s a beginner
On his second attempt to stick that needle in ‘er

My hunger abates as the scalpel cuts in
And the cyst on his throat splatters poor kittie’s chin
My two horrid teenagers sit there and grin
But my spag bolognese now resides in the bin

The very long glove, that is slippery and wet
Is meant for the cow, though they’ve only just met
The vet seems as happy as any I’ve met
Till the cow follows through and enshrouds the poor vet

With Flopsy’s guts broadcast in X-ray exposure
While Tiddles pukes hairballs inside his enclosure
I wish it was more like a nice glossy brochure
As another castration destroys my composure





Date: 30 May 2019
Contest: What Makes You Flinch
Sponsor: Julie Leigh Rodeheaver

Fully Blown Testicles

Pamplona - full fight - 'El Toro Bravo'

Who's got more balls the matador or the bull

Nature or nurture the survival is skewed

The stage is set culture maintained and the

Fiesta bound to unravel in wild screams and suspense


Paloma however sports a pacifist's creed

Prefers a siesta with Paco's gentle sword

Sheathed in passion smooth motions of Peace

Bow to freedom and compassionate love

Pony and stallion dance al fresco in white sheets


When the night settles and they glow in the dusk

The arena nearby is empty bar blood in the sand

But Paloma and Paco rest unblemished after the

wondrous rapture and a clear conscience in kind

Food For Thought

rooster testicles
will NOT be on the menu
when you return home!

My son is traveling in the Far East so I googled to see what delicacies he may (or may not) be enjoying!

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/34750278/ns/travel-destination_travel/t/asias-most-exotic-foods

8/27/18

They Call Me Sexy Dolly

"What does it take to lose a man?" I asked to no avail   
flat chested me in answer to, "Don't put yourself for sale"     
the surgeon did the breasts, the testicles went west    
in retrospect I wasn't ready yet, to tell the world "I am"    

And so I danced all night in poling fashion sleek    
beneath the neon lights a feminine mystique    
but when the lights went out at night   
I barely won the fight ...  

Oh how I wish I had the balls to tell them who I am 
they call me Sexy Dolly, yet I fought for Uncle Sam 
my mind said,  "you are out of range "  
and so my voice went strange  


"why don't I have the balls, 
to tell them who I truly am? "

The End. 
08/13/2018

Bathroom Graffiti

There was a man who went out late
And tried to rape a .38
He called women "receptacles"
'Til one blew off his testicles.

Good Deed Mcgee

Back when McGee was a fireman
A fairly long time in the past
He thought he'd go for a little walk
And feeling quite up to the task

That was until he saw a site
That was cute in a curious way
There he was , that little boy Shawn
Playing as he did everyday 

But this time he sat in a wagon Bright Red
With a ladder tied to the side
And a hose he held very tight in his hand
As a dog and a cat pulled his ride

So McGee played along, and said "Hey there, Chief,
That's a fine fire engine for sure 
But I notice your team is unevenly yoked
It's Ok though, cause I have the cure

I see that the rope that's tied to the dog
Is cinched to the collar 'round his neck
But the rope's 'round the testicles of the poor cat
The problem is this I suspect"

Then McGee started switching the rope on the cat
To his collar to equal the chore 
But Shawn stood up and protested loudly
"So, I won't have a siren no more"

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