There once was a Groom of the Stool
Who used to use some kind of tool
To wipe the king's ass
With a degree of class
Sounds like a job for a pompous fool.
Now, who’s up for being King Donald’s Groom of the Stool?
Christmas luck -
Dad arrives, tree in truck!
Eight eyes watch with excited feeling.
The pine is hoisted up, almost to the ceiling,
with fresh, green smell, and magnificence revealing
this will be another special yule.
To place the angel, you'll
need... a stool.
Do Nothing Stool
Miracle Man
10/22/2024
The “do nothing stool” is where too many rest,
and this inactivity usually quashes their best.
The “do nothing stool” has one established fact,
being, if you rest there long, you seldom will act.
Doing meaningful things begins with the heart,
and you can’t finish something that you never start.
The back burner gets things and we later ask why?
Things remain there until thoughts of them die.
My life is a three-legged stool:
family; job; and poetry.
With only two, my life’s not full,
my life is a three-legged stool.
To keep me standing one cannot be pulled;
what makes me me is to have all three.
My life is a three-legged stool:
family; job; and poetry.
My life is a three-legged stool,
with only two, my life’s not full.
To keep me standing one cannot be pulled;
what makes me me is to have all three:
family; job; and poetry
and, the three-legged stool I’ll always be.
I have to admit I’ve got a confession
About my unhealthy obsession
Other kids love pop stars with all their heart
For me it’s the Bristol Stool chart
There’s seven different types of poo
With pictures that give me a clue
to how long the poo’s been in my bowel
Poos that’s both fresh and some that’s foul
Each morning once I get out of bed
For breakfast I’ll have brown bread
The chart is a handy tool
To identify your type of stool
Now I’ve decided to tell
You about the different poos that smell
Cos it’s clear that the Bristol stool chart
Can also indicate your type of fart
Type 1 is as hard as a nut
And stays longest in the gut
Type 2 is a sausagy lump
That’s hard to squeeze out your rump
Then there’s types 3 and type 4
These are the poos I adore
These are the poos I prefer to make
A cracked sausage or smooth like a snake
Types 5 and 6 are easier to pass
Blobby or fluffy ones from your ass
Type 7 is the worst of all
It gushes like a waterfall
So now you’ve got all the scoop
On all the different types of poop
I love identifying my poo and type of fart
The Bristol Stool chart fills my heart
At the doctor’s to check out my knee,
While I waited until he was free,
I glanced up and took note
At a sign someone wrote,
Which was more a command than a plea.
It said, “Please do not roll on the stool.”
That’s where doctors would sit, as a rule.
Now did some misbehave,
Roll and rant in a rave,
Thinking doing just that would be cool?
I admit that on seeing the sign,
That desire somehow became mine,
But I’d sure be abashed
If I rolled and I crashed,
So temptation I had to decline.
Cucking-stools
A ballad, dating from about 1615, called "The Cucking of a Scold", illustrates the punishment inflicted to women whose behavior made them be identified as "a Scold"
Then was the Scold herself,
In a wheelbarrow brought,
Stripped naked to the smock,
As in that case she ought:
Neats tongues about her neck
Were hung in open show;
And thus unto the cucking stool
This famous scold did go
Dunking or Cucking Stools were used for women who “gossiped”
last used in 1809
Stool of Repentance has a long HISTORY!
Will it make a comeback? Bite your tongues
beautiful
mushroom on stump
poison
I bought a stool from an online store,
And soon I bought a soap.
The next day they sent me even more,
Discount on hooks and ropes!
What we really should
Be doing is stool soften
And do it often.
Jim Horn
On A White Stool
You know there is no turning around,
no pausing in any way, because the path to the woods,
where the sky demons make their homes,
has been flooded by the blue rivers there,
which flow by like glaciers on fire,
with life clinging to the whims of God almighty,
we first saw the downcast stares of fear,
made while sitting straight-backed on a white stool,
your troth of insanity, your refusal to bend or talk,
but it keeps going forward, this life, that never ceases to teach,
never decides to open the windows
when the blustery news reaches forth
from the darkest place downstairs beneath the dry rot.
Trump and Loose Stool
Together think Trump and I could write,
And for him to do this will surely invite;
Much loose stool,
In his swimming pool,
And as owner ended up getting up tight.
Jim Horn
What we need to do id demand
People up should start to stand
Be part of what government planned
Emphasizing love in all the land.
Stool Stopped and Lost Cool
Someone had really lost their cool;
When she stopped having a stool;
If you do,
It is true,
Not in a swimming pool or vestibule.
Jim Horn
5,555 - 4,476 = 79
until I reach goal.
Will be 77 on June 26th.
Wife had a knee replacement surgery.
Her medication has created problems for stool,
And some say when you are in medical school,
Also when withstanding,
Performance outstanding;
You will always learn how to control your cool.
Jim Horn
Alone he sits in darkened corner
Brief flashes of strobe expose his tears
Eyes staring blankly at bottom of glass
His sorrow he drowns in endless beers
Ghosts drift by as the music plays on
Unnoticed, he holds expressionless gaze
Toward bat-winged portal across the room
Hoping for appearance though smoky haze
Of Siren Temptress he still adores
She the one who created his hell
And she alone could mend crippled mind
To restore to glory and release from cell
Nightly ritual of heart-broken fool
Forever confined to that old bar stool
Sub Categories
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.