Stool Poems | Examples

Do Nothing Stool

Do Nothing Stool
Miracle Man
10/22/2024

The “do nothing stool” is where too many rest,
and this inactivity usually quashes their best.
The “do nothing stool” has one established fact,
being, if you rest there long, you seldom will act.

Doing meaningful things begins with the heart,
and you can’t finish something that you never start.
The back burner gets things and we later ask why?
Things remain there until thoughts of them die.

My Life is a Three-Legged Stool

My life is a three-legged stool:
family; job; and poetry.
With only two, my life’s not full,
my life is a three-legged stool.
To keep me standing one cannot be pulled;
what makes me me is to have all three.
My life is a three-legged stool:
family; job; and poetry.

My life is a three-legged stool,
with only two, my life’s not full.
To keep me standing one cannot be pulled;
what makes me me is to have all three:
family; job; and poetry
and, the three-legged stool I’ll always be.

I Heart My Stool Chart

I have to admit I’ve got a confession
About my unhealthy obsession
Other kids love pop stars with all their heart
For me it’s the Bristol Stool chart

There’s seven different types of poo
With pictures that give me a clue
to how long the poo’s been in my bowel
Poos that’s both fresh and some that’s foul

Each morning once I get out of bed
For breakfast I’ll have brown bread
The chart is a handy tool
To identify your type of stool

Now I’ve decided to tell
You about the different poos that smell
Cos it’s clear that the Bristol stool chart
Can also indicate your type of fart

Type 1 is as hard as a nut
And stays longest in the gut
Type 2 is a sausagy lump
That’s hard to squeeze out your rump

Then there’s types 3 and type 4
These are the poos I adore
These are the poos I prefer to make
A cracked sausage or smooth like a snake

Types 5 and 6 are easier to pass
Blobby or fluffy ones from your ass
Type 7 is the worst of all
It gushes like a waterfall 
  
So now you’ve got all the scoop
On all the different types of poop
I love identifying my poo and type of fart
The Bristol Stool chart fills my heart

The Rolling Stool

At the doctor’s to check out my knee,
While I waited until he was free,
I glanced up and took note
At a sign someone wrote,
Which was more a command than a plea.

It said, “Please do not roll on the stool.”
That’s where doctors would sit, as a rule.
Now did some misbehave,
Roll and rant in a rave,
Thinking doing just that would be cool?

I admit that on seeing the sign,
That desire somehow became mine,
But I’d sure be abashed
If I rolled and I crashed,
So temptation I had to decline.

Dunking Stool

Cucking-stools
A ballad, dating from about 1615, called "The Cucking of a Scold", illustrates the punishment inflicted to women whose behavior made them be identified as "a Scold"

Then was the Scold herself,
In a wheelbarrow brought,
Stripped naked to the smock,
As in that case she ought:
Neats tongues about her neck
Were hung in open show;
And thus unto the cucking stool
This famous scold did go

Dunking or Cucking Stools were used for women who “gossiped” 
last used in 1809
Stool of Repentance has a long HISTORY!
Will it make a comeback? Bite your tongues

Toad Stool

beautiful
mushroom on stump
poison

I Bought a Stool From An Online Store

I bought a stool from an online store,
And soon I bought a soap.
The next day they sent me even more,
Discount on hooks and ropes!

Horn Soften Stool Often Haiku

What we really should
Be doing is stool soften
And do it often.

Jim Horn

On a White Stool

On A White Stool

You know there is no turning around, 
no pausing in any way, because the path to the woods,
where the sky demons make their homes, 
has been flooded by the blue rivers there, 
which flow by like glaciers on fire, 
with life clinging to the whims of God almighty, 
we first saw the downcast stares of fear, 
made while sitting straight-backed on a white stool, 
your troth of insanity, your refusal to bend or talk, 
but it keeps going forward, this life, that never ceases to teach, 
never decides to open the windows 
when the blustery news reaches forth 
from the darkest place downstairs beneath the dry rot.

Trump and Loose Stool and More

Trump and Loose Stool

Together think Trump and I could write,
And for him to do this  will surely invite; 
Much loose stool, 
In his swimming pool, 
And as owner ended up getting up tight.

Jim Horn

What we need to do id demand 
People up should  start to stand 
Be part of what government planned 
Emphasizing love  in all the land.

Stool Stopped and Lost Cool

Stool Stopped and Lost Cool

Someone had really lost their cool;
When she stopped having a stool;
If you do,
It is true,
Not in a swimming pool or vestibule.

Jim Horn

5,555 - 4,476 = 79

until I reach goal.
Will be 77 on June 26th.

Medication Creating Stool Problems

Wife had a knee replacement surgery.

Her medication has created problems for stool,
And some say when you are in medical school,
Also  when  withstanding,
Performance outstanding;
You will always learn how to control your cool.

Jim Horn

The Old Bar Stool

Alone he sits in darkened corner
Brief flashes of strobe expose his tears
Eyes staring blankly at bottom of glass
His sorrow he drowns in endless beers

Ghosts drift by as the music plays on
Unnoticed, he holds expressionless gaze
Toward bat-winged portal across the room
Hoping for appearance though smoky haze

Of Siren Temptress he still adores 
She the one who created his hell
And she alone could mend crippled mind
To restore to glory and release from cell

Nightly ritual of heart-broken fool
Forever confined to that old bar stool

This Mick On the Next Stool

in a pub in Ireland



So this Mick on the next stool,
who's as serious as Yeats
but looks like Wilde,
stares at me, 
with eyes crossed,
sipping Guinness through the foam.
Finally he burps and says, 
"I'll bet that growth is cystic.
If it were on my nose, 
I'd light this match,
hold a straight pin over it,
then prick it. 
Poof! There'd be 
a belch of goat cheese, sure.
But what of it? 
You'd need a Q-Tip,
maybe a drop of p'roxide.
But in two weeks 
new skin would bloom
smoother than a baby's bum.
With your luck, Yank, 
it would freckle."


Donal Mahoney

Trump Sitting On a Bar Stool

Trump Sitting On A Bar Stool

There was Trump sitting on a bar stool
With each hemorrhoid fighting a duel
And when he looked at their logistics
His body and mind both went ballistics
On one coming out first we took s pool.

Jim  Horn

http://www.poetrysoup.com/poets/top_100_poets_most_poems_all_time.aspx

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