Best Stool Poems

I have to admit I’ve got a confession
About my unhealthy obsession
Other kids love pop stars with all their heart
For me it’s the Bristol Stool chart

There’s seven different types of poo
With pictures that give me a clue
to how long the poo’s been in my bowel
Poos that’s...

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the old brick is dead
tuck the morkin, shoot the dog  
bootless memories...

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The Golden Stool

 Offer me the sacrosanct golden stool
 To rest my bottom,
 Cursed! And of course abominable it is
 The Asantihene possesses it,
 I will rather then be banish from being;
 And become a bottomless bottoms
 A riddle riddled with contour,
 It is uncomfortable...

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I see we are open again.
It’s time to welcome old friends.
The homely, the lonely, 
they who want only
to have somewhere to place their rear ends. 

The people I bear are so glad.
The stories I hear are not bad.
Where I smell the beers
and I taste the...

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There was a foolish lad, who had a one legged stool
A stool which he threw away
For within his mind for a stool to be
The legs on the floor must total at least three

A milk maid came by, that stool caught her eye, she cried out...

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The Groom of the Stool

(Two meditations on an ancient post: see below)

I.
The Groom of the Stool needs some time
To commit his experience to rhyme.
This commodious peer
Detests diarrhoea
But thinks constipation sublime

II.
See where the philosophic King
Sits Rodinesque upon his “throne”.
The patient Groom stands wondering
And draws conclusions of...

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Trump Sitting On A Bar Stool

There was Trump sitting on a bar stool
With each hemorrhoid fighting a duel
And when he looked at their logistics
His body and mind both went ballistics
On one coming out first we took s pool.

Jim  Horn

http://www.poetrysoup.com/poets/top_100_poets_most_poems_all_time.aspx...

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who's that ole fool
sitting on this bar stool
stareing back at me 
from the mirror on the wall behind the bar

just whom do I see
where has all my living taken me
on this long journey
what will I have left behind
to mark my life and human stfife

wrinkles are...

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Cucking-stools
A ballad, dating from about 1615, called "The Cucking of a Scold", illustrates the punishment inflicted to women whose behavior made them be identified as "a Scold"

Then was the Scold herself,
In a wheelbarrow brought,
Stripped naked to the smock,
As in that case she ought:
Neats tongues about...

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At the doctor’s to check out my knee,
While I waited until he was free,
I glanced up and took note
At a sign someone wrote,
Which was more a command than a plea.

It said, “Please do not roll on the stool.”
That’s where doctors would sit, as a rule.
Now...

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Bar Stool Bed Sore Ode to the Record Machine

Smoking Winstons
At the Seaway Lounge
At 2:00 a.m.

The juke-box sighs out
Buck Stovell, Roy Crestline and an occasional Darla Parsell,
Whoever she is

Buxom barmaids who are 53 years old
Wear nineteen year-old gold stretch pants
Bleached blond earlobes
Wrinkled double chins
Kissing 
Genuine Cherokee...

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?
we cut to know we're alive.
we strive to survive.
there's no way out of this hell.
you're always kept in a cell.
no matter how hard it was,
you always smiled just because.
teachers would always ask,
why you were never on task.
but the truth was,
your mind was full of fuzz.
you...

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On A White Stool

You know there is no turning around, 
no pausing in any way, because the path to the woods,
where the sky demons make their homes, 
has been flooded by the blue rivers there, 
which flow by like glaciers on fire, 
with life clinging...

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Alone he sits in darkened corner
Brief flashes of strobe expose his tears
Eyes staring blankly at bottom of glass
His sorrow he drowns in endless beers

Ghosts drift by as the music plays on
Unnoticed, he holds expressionless gaze
Toward bat-winged portal across the room
Hoping for appearance though smoky haze

Of...

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The End Stool

Always askew
As if occupants left quickly
Such is the life of the bar’s end stool

We’ve all noticed its isolation
Its paradoxical value as an observation point
The lighthouse warnings
Stay away from the rocks

Yes

End stools are special
Reserved for the aloof
Yet
Wanting the “more” of life
Like we who occupy...

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