Mrs. Spratt was exceedingly fat,
Hubby Jack was as lean as a bone.
They both relished each meal
With a great deal of zeal
And even licked platters clean
When the eating was done.
Though not frugal with rations,
They still took lovely vacations
With the money they saved on dish detergent alone.
Peter Perfect
lived his life
by the rules of
his darling wife,
who cleaned and swept
and cooked and fed him
and once a month
dutifully bedded him;
getting that chore
out of the way
but to add variety
varied the day.
Peter Perfect,
wanting more not less,
and wanting not
to cause her stress
met his lover three times
a week for sex and kissing
thus each provided what
the other was missing.
So in harmony
this modern Jack Spratt
left his wife the lean
while he ate the fat.
JACK SPRATT
Mc Donald's food is unhealthy it's thought
Food is food no matter where it's bought
When encountering starvation on your traveled road
You'll not hearing them saying "McDonalds? I'd rather eat a toad!"
People in war zones are thin but not by choice
They have no McDonalds to make them fat of course
It's not the food making Jack Spratt's wife fat
Overeating is where the problem's at
Cholesterol and calories are not what it's about
It's greedy gobbling like the food will run out
Exercising her legs more than her mouth
AND
Mrs. Jack's rear end then wouldn't be going south
By Elton Camp
While Jack Spratt his diet may hate
He hasn’t got a problem with weight
And he won’t have any trouble at all
With his level of the bad cholesterol
What Jack puts on his plate
His doctor does highly rate
Mrs. Spratt may be another story
Far too soon, she will go to glory
Her state of health just can’t be right
Because her type of food is a fright
Since she limits her eating to fat
Many problems will come from that
With calories, her diet is replete
She gains weight, head to feet
Her cholesterol is through the sky
Triglycerides to measure, don’t try
The road to Type II Diabetes
Are food choices like these
To reform her diet she must try
Or prematurely we’ll say goodbye
Mrs. Jack Spratt
Ate all of the fat,
Because Jack was mean
And ate all the lean.
Goodbye to Mrs. Spratt
By Elton Camp
Although Jack Spratt his diet may hate
Shouldn’t have a problem with weight
And he won’t have any trouble at all
With his level of the bad cholesterol
Because of what Jack puts on his plate
But Mrs. Spratt may be another story
And far too soon, she will go to glory
Her state of health just can’t be right
Because her type of food is a fright
She’ll never be wrinkled and hoary
(This change was due to a reader's suggestion. Thanks.)
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