Funny Sorry Poems

I accepted the sentence, handed down by the judge,
got thirty-nine minutes to live; he wouldn't budge.
I should read more carefully, but I understand,
just one line...

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     Pardon me, is that your toe 
        I just had nowhere else to...

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No pushing or breaking of water
It was a c-section that brought her
But this is about
What wouldn’t come out
A poop just as big as my daughter!

Perhaps...

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There once was a young man named Rig
his rectum two sizes too big
	whenever he farted
	his two cheeks they parted
expelling a fireworks fizgig

The fizgig it fizzled...

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Fools'day 
When you mistakenly
                         take 
                         Medicines
                         Made 
                            for 
                             a 
                           Mad
                           Man 
                              or
                           Woman 
     
You will seem As 
  ...

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While I was out’a slummin’
I heard the sirens hummin’
	hands restrained behind
	now in jail I find
I shoulda seen it comin’...

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I’ll apologise here at the start
For this verse won’t appeal to your heart.
So banal, it’s a shame
But I’ll shoulder the blame
’Cos it's not rude, nor...

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Santa hurt his back while loading his sled
Was overcome with a feeling of dread 
Because there was a loud crack
He'd slipped a disc in his...

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there are many ways

to say I love you but I 

only care for one...

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Our battle commences
At half past one.
It was the earliest time,
We could both get it on.

The crowds have all gathered,
For our melee.
If we had been famous,
It...

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FOR PAUL CALLUS

Paul, this short poem is for you alone,
Wish you lived closer, 
I’d tell you on the phone,
You have been the cornerstone of 
Poetry...

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So, If I say i'm sorry
For what I say or what I do
Does my apology really matter
If I don't believe it to be true? ...

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So, If I say i'm sorry
For what I say or what I do
Does my apology really matter
If I don't believe it to be true? ...

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There once was a boy named Willie Dunkhole 
Who fell backwards onto a hard pole 
It went straight up in 
As it scraped off the...

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I will paint the most glorious dragon today.
She will come to life upon her completion and 
She will take a name for herself.
She will breathe...

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