The man in the elevator farted,
The smell was like a rotten salmon fish,
He mocked everyone as the gas parted,
Since provoking our anger was his wish.
Alas, he stained his white pants with his mess,
He couldn't leave the smelly elevator,
Yet he needed a toilet to access,
He begged a shirt from a nearby waiter.
He refused because of his bad manners,
A woman gave him four menstrual pads,
That he used as a protective banner—
Like young children, he turned it to a fad.
Another kind woman gave him a skirt,
Had we not known, he would have claimed Scottish,
Still the skirt was stained with a little squirt,
We wish his foul manners he'll abolish.
his writes have smelly odor, much sarcasm, hope he read Mind Your Language
the dog is muddier than I feel
we are both grimy
gritty
ridiculously filthy
the dog and I
He’s been mudding
I am super casual
in my pajamas for the sixth day
we are a smelly matched set
If you are squeamish
you may not be ready to be a mother
babies are messy and smelly
their odors are horrible
they spit up and squirt out
your clothes will never be the same
toddlers eat dirt, sand and bugs.
there is no time to be finicky or prissy
the average person consumes eight spiders a year
in their sleep,
knowing this might make motherhood easier.
Doesn't
really stink
until mad
Aromatic, foul
Fuming scent, last night’s dinner
Reeking, stinking smells
In waters deep, temptation lies,
The bait on the hook, a fish's demise.
Diverticula pits up her colon
Can’t eat much or intestines get swollen
Ma's farts are so stinky
She swears with her pinky
Ain’t gonna stop her from goin’ bowl’n
Ma, gran, and Fran’s bowling tournament
I sat far knowing their predicament
Fran’s blasts were the loudest
Best bowler and proudest
It’s never again and that’s permanent
My pet dog, Smudge
I wish he'd smell of fudge
instead he stinks of poo
Smudge, I say this cos it's true
You and your big tiger feet
your love for me is sweet
but now it's time for your bath
Smudge thinks I'm having a laugh
He's now sprawled out on the floor
and won't come in the bathroom door
Oh Smudge what am I to do?
cos you really stink of poo
One idea I suppose
is to douse you with the hose
and get you all nice and clean
he probably thinks I'm being mean
Now my pet dog Smudge
he actually smells of fudge
Smudge no longer stinks of poo
cos I used fudge smelling shampoo
I think
feet stink
Can tell
feet smell
I know
must go
Change socks
wear crocs
Good news
new shoes
sale price
real nice!
So sweet
clean feet
Written July 22, 2022
,A Skunk’s ‘Tale’,
Twas a puzzling mid-summer’s eve
When I became acquainted with Steve
Bear with if you can
For Steve’s not a man
He’s an odd little skunk who won’t leave!
I was driving, unwinding that night
As my headlights swam over his sight
On two legs he stood
Like he owned street and wood
I slammed on my brakes out of fright!
When Steve began talking, I stared
As he jumped in my car, I just glared
This skunk, quite verbose
Let it rip, smelling gross
“LORD HAVE MERCY!” I loudly declared!
How I wish I could tell you things changed
Not so fast when your skunk is deranged
I tried to play nice
But his heart is pure ice
Let’s just say his farewell’s been arranged!
1st PLACE!!!
Submitted For: Tall Tales 1 Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Jeff Kyser
Date Written: 03-18-2022
Format: HowManySyllable.com
SMELLY DILEMMA Yet I Sympathize Wit You
I simply sympathize with you
being a hero straight and true
Twist not the spinning tops
Sour aroma burst of fruitless drops
being a hero straight and true
I smell of Angel's food
Sour aroma burst of fruitless drops
Demons eat at my feet as I stand heroically
I smell of Angel's food
Twist not the spinning tops
Demons eat at my feet as I stand heroically
I simply sympathize with you
12/28/21
Written by James Edward Lee Sr. 2021©
I think that I should warn you,
About my dear wife's feet,
When she gets straight out the bath
They are dainty and quite sweet.
The trouble only happens
When she's been out for the day,
Back at home,her shoes come off,
And her shoes run out the way.
She said that someone told her
It's healthy to have smelly feet,
She laughs when we get a whiff
She tells us it's her treat.
The smell is just revolting
Rotten eggs, with blue cheese on the side.
I think if she could bottle it,
She would bottle it with pride.
So if you ever meet her
Please don't comment on her shoes,
For heaven's sake don't try them on
It's a nose battle you would lose.
17/9/2021
Fart -tastic contest
Sponsored by
Chantelle Anne cooke
Trapped in elevator I'm a posh upstart
My stomach upset from garlic tart
La-di-da eyes look me over
Then I realise I am not quite sober.
Boozy belch from cocktail hour
Does vodka really smell that sour?
Doing my best but I let one rip
Trapped in hell don't give me lip.
When I Let One Loose In The Elevator
Poetry Contest
Sponsor
Charles Messina
What's transparent and smells like a worm?
Obviously, it's a bird fart that lasts long term
That was a tough one
Cat got your tongue?
Life gets tedious and we act with much concern
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