We really thought this was virgin soil
When we sailed upon this land so vast
As we drifted into a secluded cove
Thought we'd stumbled upon the past
Natives sure looked very much like us
But they wore the skimpiest clothes
With only one or two piece coverings
Not a bad looking group by jove
We motioned to them in sign language
We're friendly and we've come in peace
But much to our utter astonishment
They spoke our language with ease
Seems we had stumbled on a sandy beach
On the southwest coast of the state
These natives were actually vacationers
They thought our sailing ship was great
It was really all quite embarrassing
We played dumb and pretended we knew
Said it was our lame attempt at humour
As we thanked them and bid them adieu
So we all got back in our sailing ship
And waved them a fond farewell
We'll never forget our trip to the past
It's a tale for our grandkids to tell
A Lunsmore or a Lucifer
What if I mix up my gives with my git's
Wouldn't that really be the total pits
But out there when sins you will admit
Life's puzzle together does easier fit.
Sins create weight for our each shoulder
And everyday as our lives do grow older
There will appear someone named Trump
Who on backs will be a monstrous hump.
That hump did become so hard to bare
Also only for himself does he always care
Around whole countryside likes to tour
In disguise like a Lismore or a Lucifer.
Talking about someone who is skimpiest
And impressed by his being impish
Compared to candidates is much higher
No wonder they call him the Trump Empire.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Her insatiable hunger
fuels her primal desires.
And in her skimpiest skirt,
she solicits cash for sex.
Prowling taverns late at night,
she peddles depravity.
And smelling of cheap perfume;
she signals cheap with each breeze.
A succubus seductress,
she sells disappearing dreams.
And her suggestive whispers
promote promiscuity.
A sleek, stealthy predator;
she stalks her prospective prey.
And with come-hither blue eyes,
she seduces with a smile.
Provocatively perky;
she sways in erotic ways.
And a potent narcotic;
she leaves men begging for more.
There once was a party of vicars,
Well known for their liking of liquors,
They said to the masses:
‘Hey, look at our asses’,
And peeled off the skimpiest knickers.
For Roy’s Bawdy limerick contest
We thought we'd landed on virgin soil
When we sailed the ocean so vast
And drifted into this secluded cove
Thought we'd stumbled upon the past
Natives sure looked very much like us
But they wore the skimpiest clothes
With only one or two piece coverings
Not a bad looking group by jove
We motioned to them in sign language
We're friendly and we've come in peace
But much to our utter astonishment
They spoke english with total ease
Seems we stumbled on a sandy beach
On the southwest coast of the state
These natives were actually vacationers
They thought our sailing ship was great
It was really all quite embarrassing
We played dumb and pretended we knew
It was just our lame attempt at humour
As we thanked them and bid them adieu
So we all got back in our sailing ship
And waved them a fond farewell
We'll never forget our trip to the past
It's a tale for our grandkids to tell!
© Jack Ellison 2013
We really thought this was virgin soil
When we sailed upon this land so vast
As we drifted into a secluded cove
Thought we'd stumbled upon the past
Natives sure looked very much like us
But they wore the skimpiest clothes
With only one or two piece coverings
Not a bad looking group by jove
We motioned to them in sign language
We're friendly and we've come in peace
But much to our utter astonishment
They spoke our language with ease
Seems we had stumbled on a sandy beach
On the southwest coast of the state
These natives were actually vacationers
They thought our sailing ship was great
It was really all quite embarrassing
We played dumb and pretended we knew
Said it was our lame attempt at humour
As we thanked them and bid them adieu
So we all got back in our sailing ship
And waved them a fond farewell
We'll never forget our trip to the past
It's a tale for our grandkids to tell