Sillier Poems | Examples

ALICE THROUGH THE WORMHOLE

*For Tom Woody contest

Curiouser and curiouser thinks Alice.
Why must I always follow that rabbit?
Last time it didn’t work out well,
I must try to break the habit.

This time they’re on a spaceship
And she’s suddenly floating around.
Ever since they blasted off,
Her feet haven’t touched the ground.

But at least her height remains constant.
No more shrinking then growing.
But where Lewis Caroll is taking her,
There is no way of knowing.

The man in charge is Captain Kirk,
Who seems to be quite potty.
With a top hat with a label on
And a dog he refers to as ‘Scottie’.

They land on a distant planet,
You won’t have heard about,
Discovered by one Charles Dodgson,
With a silly name no doubt.

She steps out from the spaceship,
Wondering what she’ll find.
“That’s one small step for a girl,” she says,
“One giant leap for girlkind.”

She’s met by peculiar characters,
With even sillier names,
Who threaten to chop her head off,
If she doesn’t join in their games.

Then suddenly Alice wakes up.
It’s all been a dream if you please.
And she vows that tomorrow’s supper
Will not be bread and cheese.

The Fatuous Philosopher

I am a philosopher
Of great mental acumen
I like to blow my own trumpet
As nobody seems to mention

While enlightening people
Of all hues, I think not twice
Morning to noon and noon to night
I love when people seek advice

Questions myriad on one's
life, future, and future wife
If their foreseen future is bad
Will better halves manage their life

Questions keep getting sillier
Till they get nonsensical
My thoughts are philosophical
But my answers turn whimsical

I love work, people love me
Results don't count, it's a game
All goes well the credit is mine
Nothing goes well, they get the blame

It's late gotta close my shop
Need food and a good night's sleep
'Morrow will be a busy day
So expect not I will come cheap

Slaphappy

I'm usually known for my silly stuff
But once in a while I surprise
Drooling all over my keyboard and yours
With mushy stuff I fantasize

At times been known to wear different hats
Contrary to what you may think
Can be sillier than the silliest damn jester
Then switch as quick as a wink

Become all gushy and mushy and stuff
Talk of flowers and eternal love
Then sure as shootin' it's back to the sillies
Giving your giggler a tug

This back and forth stuff is really quite dizzying
Imagine if I wrote about dying
Some are obsessed with negative things
If I said that was me I'd be lying

It's not for me, that tear jerky stuff
Guess my life's been too bloody happy
Sure not complaining I'm a perky old geezer
Maybe a better word is slaphappy

Bamboozling Our Children

We decided on hand signals.
They got sillier each day.
Pretending to speak to each other.
Stroking our imaginary beards.

Sometimes we cawed or tweeted.
It drove our children bananas.
We did this in self-defense.
It frustrated them, causing them to leave.

It was the only way we could talk.
Have adult conversation
Without being interrupted
by our children.

Sure, they pout a bit,
but within ten minutes most of them are back.
So, it doesn’t permanently traumatize them.

Till You Fart Ole

Feeling a whole bunch sillier today
Maybe it's the weather or the moon's ballet
Giggles are tops
Pull out the stops
Laugh till your belly hurts and you fart, olé!

Hedloper the Roman

Hedloper the Roman was sent back to guard the books of Itheius.
They were kept in a library in the province of Mellifluethius.
He had never been here but he was a Roman, soldier-trained.
So here he stands guard daily, watching, as it was ingrained.

The people of this century are the strangest he has ever met.
He did not think the world could get any sillier, but it is goofy-set.
The questions he gets asked are so dull, boring and bane.
He is shocked that the planet still exists in this world so insane.

He cannot wait until the year 2026, for that is the year he can return.
To his life, guarding the Roman arena, a place where Christians burn.
New world is full of tiny talking tablets which are such a waste of time.
He cannot wait to get back to his true life, because he is in his prime.

Back home, he had a lovely wench as beautiful as he had ever seen.
Being here for his commission was frankly, pretty ridiculous and mean.
His father invented the time machine, so they made him use his son.
He only has to remain in this time for five more years, as this is 2021.

Stratification

Most politicians are liars
(As they are adept in tricks)
Most militants are no mind
(As they are trained to obey sillier)
Most merchants are greedy cheaters
(As too many profits they care)
Most pilferers are caught in red hand
(As they fail in nowhere)
...
Most of them will then Dwell 
In a cell in hell
Once, Satan asks
Who needs a fry bath? 
Silence, the hell becomes still

Kathy's Hashish

We used to pinch Kathy's hashish
one trip at a time so she wouldn't notice
but it really didn't matter- we had total immunity,
because she'd never go whining to the cherries.
   
We'd light up just beyond the train tracks 
amidst the bum litter, coon scat and wild scrub
getting sillier and paranoid with each and every puff.

We'd roll out of our hashish cloud-red eyed, 
with mad munchies and a raging case of cotton mouth. 
Devouring bowls of mac and cheese while watching M.T.V
Waiting for the sandman and his nickel bag of sleep.
 
That was just a puppy phase in my life,
Kathy graduated to heroin and spent years
gathering up the bits of her broken mind.

A Zebra Might Rim Ram Roo

Assuring a zig-zagging zebra a zinc zim-bam-boo
without cash, is so brash! As then you will have to give two.
Insuring a zoo master  a zebra might rim-ram-roo
Practically tantamount to mashing a crashing bamboo.

As if you need any more trouble, my quim-quam-quaroo.
On your dash I shall lash a mashed mangled measly mad macaroo.
A sillier more gnashy poem I could try to get you.
But first let me throw in some trash, and a rash for us two.

Silly Toys and Sillier Boys

I looked at the toys and thought how silly

And what if I called him mr. Billy

He stroked my face and said it looked sweet

I knew he was the man I wanted to meet

I thought to myself how delicious 

It would be if I made myself Nutritious 

He gave me a lick 

So I gave him a kick

Yet I am a boy and you are a toy 

So forever alone we are

With our tiny baby feet

Oh how I love the silly little pinky toe

Silly Words

I'm not in step with the Serious Bards
For me, it's the sillier words that chime
I see quadrangles instead of a yard
Jaunty hootenannies I find sublime

I don't howl or cry out, I ululate
Clip-clop and flip-flop, both such disarmers!
Gummy tutti frutti, please be my date
Phenomenology - what a charmer!

Silly names rule - Truth or Consequences
Walla Walla is a beautiful place
Humpty Dumpty brought down the defenses
Winnie the Pooh is a bear to embrace

Sonnets, free verse, rhymes, limericks, haiku, tomes
Silly words deserve their place in our poems.

Till You Fart, Ole

Feeling a whole bunch sillier today
Maybe it's the weather or the moon's ballet
Giggles are tops
Pull out the stops
Laugh till your belly hurts and you fart, olé!

Of a Raven Wrote Edgar Poe

Of a raven wrote Edgar Poe
That came but would never go
  From its perch upon Pallas
  Cuz it liked watching Dallas  
On the TV picture show.

Alternate, sillier version:

Of a raven wrote Edgar Poe
That came but would never go,
  Whilst it dreamt of its Muses,
  Two of The Stooges;
Of Larry and of Curly but never Moe.

Drooling On My Keyboard

I'm usually known for my silly stuff
But once in a while I surprise
Drooling all over my keyboard and yours
With mushy stuff I fantasize

It's true I sometimes wear more than one hat
Contrary to what you may think
Can be sillier than the silliest damn jester
Then switch as quick as a wink

Become all gushy and mushy and stuff
Talk of flowers and eternal love
Then sure as shootin' it's back to the sillies
Giving your giggler a shove

This back and forth stuff is really quite dizzying
Imagine if I wrote about dying
Some are obsessed with negative things
If I said that was me I'd be lying

It's not for me, that tear jerky stuff
Guess my life's been too bloody happy
Sure not complaining I'm a perky old geezer
Maybe a better word is slaphappy


© Jack Ellison 2015

Bad Movie

We should have gone outside instead of watching one
of the sillier, senseless, meaningless movies it is possible
to rent or buy. Winter or not the fields and woods
are at least real, commensal and understandable if
you know the genus and species. Know the genome
and biome. Learn the physics and music.

But this much reality requires an escape, hence
bad movie. A bad book is better than a bad movie.
A good movie trumps a bad book, but a good book is best
and a great poem trumps all. Will my son Zach be one
who applies the scientific method? Can Aaron explain
God's intentions to the people? Their mother and I will wait.

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