Short Standup Poems

be strong
we all be long
set your tone
to carry on
don't get decuess
knock off the dust
and
STANDUP...

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What makes a man a man do you think
Big muscles and hairy armpits that don't stink
But really beyond all that
Humor needs to hatch
Nothing compares to this standup fink...

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What makes a man a man do you think
Big muscles and hairy armpits that don't stink
But really beyond all that
Humor needs to hatch
Nothing compares to this standup fink...

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Good stand up comedians are a very rare breed
That's why this guy stands out, hilarious indeed
He's Brian Reagan
A fantastic comedian
His humour is unusual and totally unique

© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Standing there
Arms outstretched
The haggard pasty washed up
Kewpie doll
Of a soon to be ex
Awaited his oxytocin fix

As the dutiful wench
Swallowed the stench
Of his distillery fermented fat
She thought 

This puts the retch in wretched

And that was that
A good sense of humour
Is only embraced so far



5.31.2020...

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*(These are some Senryu poems about bestfriends.) *

My best friends and I
can talk with each other with
facial expressions

Friends can face-slap
insult each other - we know
each other so well.

We can spend a whole
day, at the park, just sitting
on the swings chatting.

Ever looked at your 
bestfriend and thought, “We should be
standup comedians.”...

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I always wanted to be a comedian but tired I get you see
For the very best by far are standup comedians I decree
So sit I must to be at ease for I am phat
And standup is where the laughs are at
But fear not for I will tell
A story for you dear gal
I once met up with a man
As far away from me he ran
Why pray tell did he run you ask
I asked for him to do a petty task!!!...

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God called on the 9th of August,
  Right on Bernie’s golden age.
To lead him to the heavens,
  For standup on the grandest stage.

Bernie’s routine was colossal,
  For God created the best.
When God needed His comic,
  He laid Bernie’s soul to rest.

God called that weary morning,
  And summoned America’s comedian.
He granted a divine promotion,
  In becoming heaven’s comedian....

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I'm stumbling, drowning,
Attempting to pick my head up,
I'm falling, slowly attempting to standup
I can feel the waters of my soul rumbling.
My brain's deluded
My sight's blinded
Spirit rescue me, set me free
Direct me closer to finding me.

Death seems far yet so near
Life so close yet I can't grab
So long death I fear
Life's tail never will I grab.
Why not man up and take a sip from life's treasured gall?...

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President Not Prime Minister

Can thin spaces be created by a Priest?
Closer to God and not distance increased
And about certain things I must be blunt
Trying to decide what I need and want.

How much longer must I have to wait
For standup comedienne to be candidate
Which I really already have actually heard
By them always have to be re-assured.

Will come back later and finish poem.
Am running out of battery.

Jim Horn...

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THE COMIC
by
JOHN M. ARRIBAS




I’M A COMEDIAN   I LIKE TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH
FROM THE UNEXPECTED   OR A FOOLISH GAFFE
I DO STANDUP   OR SIT DOWN   IT DOESN’T MATTER
MY JOKES WILL CAUSE   YOUR INNOCENCE TO SHATTER

WHEREVER I’M BOOKED   I’M A ROARING RIOT
I’VE WRITTEN A JOKE BOOK   I HOPE YOU’LL BUY IT
A TRAVELING COMIC   IS A LONELY   AND DIFFICULT PATH
I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE   WHO CAN MAKE ME LAUGH


SPACES IN THE LINES ARE FOR A PAUSE...

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