Short Restrooms Poems

the good old days
blacks lining up for restrooms
always in back
buses, trains, movie houses--all
but please spend your money here...

Read More

Man-cave said to She-shed,
"Here's a thought, why don't we build
an actual house to live in together?"

She-shed queried,
"separate bedrooms, restrooms,
office and work-out space?"

Man-cave: "Naturally."...

Read More

Intermission – get on line,
Which mostly seems to crawl,
Just to have the pleasure of
Two minutes in the stall.

Do your business, wash your hands
And climb two flights of stairs,
Then squeeze past people who won’t move
And fix you with their glares.

Broadway shows are special treats
But will be better when
The aisles and women’s restrooms
Aren’t blueprinted by men!...

Read More

The slots spin,
the casino’s siren song
bellows its flashy music-box tune.

Click, click, click….

O so close!

“It’s not gambling,” she says,
“it’s just a half-assed prayer
we ritually repeat to a sleeping deity.
one that doesn’t like germy fingers
poking at her all night.

Don’t forget to wash your hands,
they provide restrooms,
for when we are tired
of crapping out
on the craps tables.”...

Read More

R olling down the freeway, for hours and hours on end
O n our much anticipated family vacation,
A ll us kids were joking, yakking, singing songs and snacking,
D azzled by scenic routes and filled with youthful elation.

T old by Dad to quiet down, we simply couldn’t do it.
R eally, what did he expect eight rowdy kids to do?
I nside that station wagon we were squeezed in like sardines.
P aradise at last arrived: to the restrooms we all flew!...

Read More

Potty Parity

I sadly think when I have to go badly
that perhaps it’s petty, but were I a man
then I would already be in the can!
When Freud enjoyed his heavy levy
that women have toyed with “penis envy”,
maybe he meant these frequent lines we resent!
If annoyed women employed their un-“suppressed” quest
against the rarity of “potty parity”,
we could befuddle Freud in his zest to muddle
through women’s very best “protest puddle”!

-	E. V. Wyler    -...

Read More