Short Pms Poems

Cringing in pain
Ruining my day 
Absolutely awful 
Moaning 
PMS
Snap its that time again....

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sexual desire
frustration
anger
mixed emotions
running together
like two toned candles and wax...

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Pissiness during this time of the month
Makes everyone disperse because they’re  
Sick of the person I become...

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I began to stop seeing her
When she told me
About her Bowie knife collection
And her occasional bouts with P.M.S....

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I need not
these whoremoans
nor this 
baby baking box
nor does my lover
need me flopping
like a flounder
on the docks...

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Women complain about premenstrual syndrome,
but I think of it as the only time of the month that they let their true selves be known....

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Taste these tears
Before you say you know...

Kiss me softly
Before you get up to go...

You are unaware 
That I am drowning
Before the flood,

Emotionally and physically,
Without a drop of blood....

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Aching OA and RSI.
(not to mention RSSI,
an understudy in CTE)
The ever dependable SAD.
Add the ADD to the PTSD,
the monthly dose of PMS
and the occasional case of RLS.
Not to be forgotten 
is the Great TBI.
Yes!
Working on a Doctorate of Life I am....

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Woke up early on this fateful and sad day
to find AOL had cut me off
over some bill I'd failed to pay
I found my anger, up I did cough!

faced with a day without my daily "soup"
Good Lord!, just how will I get by?
my spirits start to droop
I could not help but start to cry

Now I find I'm suffering
from a new form of P.M.S.
"Panic Minus Soup" is what it stands for
Oh, Lord, I sure am now in a mess!...

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Somebody please help me, I'm in great distress.
My wife is having her period and she has PMS.
One time she grabbed a television set and hit me in the head.
When I came out of my coma, I was amazed that I wasn't dead.

She goes on rampages and she screams and shouts.
I told her to shut up and she nearly scratched my eyes out.
This time of the month causes great stress.
Somebody please help me, she has PMS....

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Planet of Hers


Volatile hormones – cause of stress,
Enhanced by monthly PMS -
Naysayer symptoms it exudes,
Unleashing food cravings and moods,
Sustained by menopausal mess.


Planet of His


Male’s calm after the storm of war,
Accomplished, hungry and at bay,
Relaxed and ready to restore,
Satiated, eager to play.

May 07, 2021...

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You are far from being a goddess or queen.
In fact, you’re one of the ugliest women I’ve ever seen.
Is the royal treatment what you expect?
You have given me nothing but contempt and disrespect.
A month has only thirty or thirty-one days.
It seems like you have PMS always.
What an irascible and vehement virago!
You are somebody I do not wish to know.
Why don’t you gather your things and just go?

...

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Why did you make mosquitos?
They bite my nose.
I hate them!

Why did you make the ocean salty?
Could you make it malty?
I could use a beer.

Why so many seasons?
I see no reason.
Couldn't you make up your mind?

Why do we age
and have PMS rage?
I wish I was a boy.

Why did you make men?
But then again.....
He ! He! He!

Why did you make me curious?
I know it makes you furious
when I ask you stupid questions....

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Macho Man Sydrome

Women may have PMS,
But men have MMS
Macho Man Syndome

Not all men have this,
Plenty do and it makes life seem hard to exist
From Oil in Iraq
To Blood Diamond in Sierra Leone
Sooner or Later, Mother Earth will tell you
“Leave me the heck alone!”
Will you listen?
Of course not,
She'd have to glue your men together
Gray clouds with a dirty mist will make you surrender
When her eyes glaze at you
Maybe you'll realize there'll be no you  
When it's through...

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