Short Peed Poems

Relieving myself
After a long night
I smiled a bit
Thinking
I havent peed
Since last year!...

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When God was a burning bush
He happened to see Eve's tush
Butt wise to his games
Eve peed on the flames
And disappeared in a whoosh!...

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Cannabis sativa decreed
But people like to call it, "weed"
It smokes so hot
Some call it "pot"
And I know where your dog just peed...

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Canadian Willie Amos
Was so eager to be famous
To prove he's no prude
He zoomed in the nude
And peed to confound the shamus

26.IV.2!...

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I once drank some beer that was green
The weirdest that I’d ever seen
They said, “It’s that way
For St. Patricks day"
I then peed with green in my stream...

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I once knew a man named Asheet
Who had to go poop when he peed
When faced with a urinal
He can performed a great miracle
It's something you all have to see...

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At birth, little baby just ate.
He pooped, peed and cried until late.
Today it’s the same,
his parents would claim,
although he has turned twenty-eight....

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There once was a nerd, super psychotic
Who did something really idiotic  
   He peed in his trowser
   Then pooped and said 'Yowser'
At least 'twaren't onomatopoeiA-tic...

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Near the park, I screamed at a big chap—
“Do not pee by the roadside, ape-man!”
oh, because I seen fright,
I peed on a shrub a night.
The shrub —JESUS! —was a drunk man....

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There once was a man who had swagger
When he drank seven pints of lager
He said "may I have this dance?"
Didn't know he'd peed his pants
So, home on his own he did stagger...

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I once knew a fellow from Pensacola
Who drank liters of fizzy Coca-Cola 
He peed in the street
And on his bare feet
Now I think he is enrolled at Loyola.

written June 27, 2021...

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I go to the mall to check out the girlies
Prancing along with their bodies so perky
Think I just peed
It affects my speech
It jdfgwr ksh jgrrzrej jxgll c gsfttys quirky!!!...

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Went for my first walk of the spring today
Almost peed myself while doing a ballet
Prancing through puddles
Blowing pretty bubbles
As lightly I skip carrying my bouquet...

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Went for my first walk of the spring today
Almost peed myself while doing a ballet
Prancing through puddles
Blowing pretty bubbles
As lightly I skip carrying my bouquet...

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Woke up this morning groggy and dazed
Must have slept well, my eyes were all glazed
Walked into a wall
Then peed in the hall
Cut myself shaving, bled freely from my face...

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I go to the mall to check out the girlies
Prancing along with their bodies so perky
Think I just peed
It affects my speech
It jdfgwr ksh jgrrzrej jxgll c gsfttys quirky!!!...

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Had a crappy day, no rhyme or reason
Same stuff as previous but today was uneven
A real bumpy journey
It started very early
As I peed on the dog and dreamed of a threesome...

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I go to the mall to check out the girlies
Prancing along with their bodies so perky
Think I just peed
It affects my speech
It jdfgwr ksh jgrrzrej jxgll c gsfttys quirky!!!...

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Woke up this morning groggy and dazed
Must have slept well, my eyes were all glazed
Walked into a wall
Then peed in the hall
Cut myself shaving, bled profusely from my face...

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You must be careful if you really don't know
Where you're going cuz you might miss the show
You paid big bucks
At famous YukYuks
Laughed so hard, peed your panties, hope it don't snow...

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Humor laugh so hard I cry-aloud
Sored, that I sneezed involuntary expulsion of urine, I peed 
just like an toddler child

2/13/24
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2024©
...

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Gotta go pee, maybe behind that tree
Another guy's there, don't want him to pee on me
And there's a bunch of others
Think one is my brother
Never had a brother! oops, just peed on my knee...

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My eyes are glazed over, my head is all stuffed
My allergies are making my eyeballs all puffed
Can't see, lost the power
Think I just peed in the shower
Looking desperately for the handle to flush...

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Woke up this morning groggy and dazed
Must have slept well, my eyes are all glazed
Walked into a wall
Then peed in the hall
Bled freely from my face while attempting to shave

© Jack Ellison 2015...

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There’s a window to the universe,
where light sails upon etheric waters;
peed through and clarity will become
your closest friend, for answers
are revealed to those who look with 
eyes of soul.

...

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