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Valentine's Chat Up NFC

There once was a man who had swagger When he drank seven pints of lager He said "may I have this dance?" Didn't know he'd peed his pants So, home on his own he did stagger

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John Lawless

Date: 1/15/2024 3:40:00 PM

perhaps t'as the lass that sat on his lap// who dribbled her leakage on the poor chap// to prove without doubt// it was all Guinness stout and foamed in her britches to show its on tap

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/15/2024 5:24:00 PM

Well! Mr Lawless! You're a great poet and funny so I'll permit this. Perhaps I'll revise my ideas for my next limerick and make it gender neutral...

Suzette Richards

Date: 1/15/2024 1:44:00 PM

Seeing as this is not for the contest, I may comment. The 'metre' for the Limerick (which is often distorted anyway) is not iambic (da dum, da dum ...). Loved this Limerick, BTW :)

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/15/2024 5:26:00 PM

Thanks Suzette - I'm producing practice limericks behind the scenes in the hope I'll hit on one that hits the mark. Thank you for your comment x

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 1/15/2024 1:15:00 PM

Oh yeah…no! LOL

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/15/2024 5:26:00 PM

Haha

Christina Bowring

Date: 1/15/2024 9:37:00 AM

Brilliant, amusing limerick dear Dilly that flows so well. Made me smile as all good limericks should. Good luck in the contest. I’m struggling to completely grasp stressed/ unstressed and also alliteration at the moment as I continue on the poetic journey. Need to be in training classes me thinks! You’re such a great poet that you’ll nail all the devices! Hugs to you xx

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/15/2024 11:13:00 AM

I'm sure these nuances will come in time if we just sing da dum da dum enough! Thank you for your kind words x

Tom Woody

Date: 1/15/2024 6:30:00 AM

Yeah but he might have had a great personality sober. Shoulda gave the poor lad a chance

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/15/2024 6:50:00 AM

I mean they are fictional but I'd say it's still a no. I have found there is no harm in having high standards and even someone with swagger isn't going to get much air time (definitely never inebriated).

David Kavanagh

Date: 1/15/2024 12:09:00 AM

Ha! brilliant Dilly, right from swagger to stagger, but I do wonder if he got a knee in the crotch, that perhaps enhanced his stagger, Cheers David

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/15/2024 4:06:00 AM

Haha I don't think I've ever been tolerant of a chat up line to be fair. I think I ensure I don't meet eyes in the first place to avoid the approach. Yuck! I'm not sure I could stomach the idea of someone being so presumptuous as to try a chat up line haha

Silent One

Date: 1/14/2024 11:51:00 PM

Lol....glad I've never touched alcohol...also I don't think I've ever used a chat up line...lol..this one was good..

Silent One
Date: 1/15/2024 4:23:00 AM

I knew it wasn't real life...yeah poetry is much better...youbhave license to be free.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/15/2024 4:08:00 AM

Isn't poetry a more sophisticated version? Yeah this isn't a real life event luckily, just where the rhyming led. Thanks for the vote of confidence on the limerick - I'm still working on stressed and unstressed syllables so this was a practice run :)

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 1/14/2024 5:30:00 PM

The evils of alcohol are well depicted in this limerick. I'm smiling

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/15/2024 4:09:00 AM

Haha I people watch a bit and seeing someone float round a bar getting rejected and eventually someone being flattered turns my stomach

Speaks Volumes

Date: 1/14/2024 4:27:00 PM

LOL Loved it... You have a wonderful imagination. Gotta be a winner..

Di11y Da11y
Date: 1/15/2024 4:11:00 AM

It's not perfect form this one but didn't want to bin it. I'm trying to da dum da dum my way to the right meter but it doesn't seem to be my skill set haha