Short Muff Poems

fresh rhinestone snowflakes
Grandma’s hanky
furry Christmas muff
Star of Bethlehem
Scalloped lace pinafore
Daddy’s ironed collar
clean glistening memories
the whites of Christmas...

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Bundled in mittens and muff,
A scarf on my face to my nose,
My breath coming out in a puff
And icicles under my toes – 
It’s winter, and I’m about froze!


for Andrea's Catch-Phrase contest...

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mistake was worst than a bungle or blunder or muff
totally botched, mishandled and mismanaged
auto mechanics excuses put dad in a funky huff
his Ford was in worst shape now, totally damaged...

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How did you find me?
Your probing toe seeks its fortune
Tries its luck in my diamond mine
Hi ho, hi ho, lets not go to work
Continue burrowing, my little mole, 
My muncher of muff

By Helen and Anja...

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There is snow on her coat, her muff, and her eyelashes
She has run up the hill in spurts and weird little dashes
Her breathing is labored, she remembers now she is an asthmatic
Her inhaler is where? Too bad carrying it with her is not automatic...

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Silver petals, dust of dreams
whirling in a snowburst gleam
Hat and muff and lungs to sing
as sleigh bells tied to horses ring.
Sun eclipsed by icy trees
Frozen lips and knocking knees
Life as fragile as it seems
amidst the sparkle, dust of dreams......

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Randolph
Tried golf

Paid fees
Bought tees

Teed off
Pals scoff

Drive muff
In rough

Balls lost
They cost!

Oh crap
Sand trap!

Putts bad
Gets mad!

More flubs
Breaks clubs!

So far
No par

Played poor
No more!

Club house
To souse!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired...

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memory overload
Christmas caroling
smell of ginger bead
colorful frosted cookies
elf on the shelf
scent of vanilla
striped candy canes
sparkling Christmas wreath
pointed holly with red bulbs
some mistletoe fun
white fur Christmas muff
shiny silver bells
nativity scene 
Jesus’ birthday
Christmas...

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Missing that
Sultry muff
Of stained coffee
and stale cigarettes. 

We thought we were
French, and perhaps as
Close to rebelliousness
as the Midwest would Allow. 

My eye make-up made
me Alive and a woman 
Stronger than you

And could ever be. 

With those candles
And cement blocks
you penetrated me

And I was alive....

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frothy fluffy frazzled fluff
lives in my bellybutton said agent Muff
Frenzied frogs do not have a clue
Having no bellybutton as they grew.

My bellybutton is an instant reminder to me.
Placenta which provided nourishment to thee.
Myself and placenta attached by a fleshy cord.
Severed in delivery room by a young doctor’s sword....

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I was so terrified ty today’s cat news
It gave me chills, kept me in the blues
I guess they print each horrible scoop
Hoping it will scare out our morning poop

It works for me, I have to admit
I left quite a bit in the litter box, said my cat Whit.
Tomorrow had better not be so full of horrible stuff.
For I might have to cancel it like my cousin Muff....

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The day he could not find his snuff
Grandpa got out his iron cuff
Grandma brought him an omelet puff
Delightful, cheesy, with some fluff

I do not want to be so gruff,
Grandpa said in kind of a bluff.
But I have truly had enough
Of grandchildren taking all my stuff.

Grandma put down her foxy muff
Patted his hands. They were so rough.
I do not blame you for your huff.
Babysitting is rather tough....

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Swept along in blind panic
In to your tunnel of love
I know of no light at the end of your tunnel
Just the endearing pleasure of your muff
Now that’s my tricky situation
How ever endearing my love and lust
At the end of the day I’m being taken for a ride
Ride of connotation I just can’t get enough off
Primary meaning or secondary expression 
It’s a ride I want to jump on and never get off
No! you can jump on whilst I continue getting off...

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~ CONFUSED MALE CANARY ~

  There once was a confused male canary
  Who fancied himself a real cute faerie
     He found a male friend
     Peered in his rear end
  Pulled out a note: "Hi, My name's Mary."  



   ~ POOR KITTEN NAMED MUFF ~

  Sue took in a poor kitten she named Muff
  Showed her a reefer, some really good stuff
     Muff whipped out a badge
     Inscribed with this adage
  You were busted when you took your first puff...

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Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart 
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.

Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in Muff
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.

But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one....

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