Short I Phone Poems

I-phone
seeks attention
constantly chiming sounds
irritating interruption
I-phone...

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E.T.
Kind-hearted alien
asked his friend: “Can I phone home?”
Elliott nervously replied: “Will it be a collect call?”...

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in case someone phones
i am wearing my headpiece
to no avail

anticipation
certainly blue tooth ready
it is sunday right...

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You are my pretty Pogonia,
I want and I need to behold ya!
   To you, I know I sound silly
   but your eyes remind me of Lily;
Is that why you hang up when I phone ya?...

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There is a secret underground organization called CHCC
I feel them spying on me and undermining my every move.
Every click of the computer or I-phone is in a will-not-work-groove.
The Computers Hate Caren Club is in full force you see....

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If you want harsh feelings
If you strive to miscommunicate
If you adore confrontation
If you want hatred to call you out
If your brain is disengaged
If you do not remember how harsh written words are
If you love to miscommunicate
Text someone...

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I have a cat named Hasty
the absoulte center of my world.
Theres nothing on Earth that will make me,
give up my baby girl.
My house caught on fire
So I had to get up and go.
Watching my house burn on the oustside,
recording it with my I-Phone....Oops....

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I-phones have changed our paradigms
People no longer
Have to talk to each other
Or
Need to form relationships with human beings.
Evolving into an electronic virtual culture,
Suddenly we live in a surreal, imitation world, and we are avatars, not humans....

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Believe!


The sun is setting in the east!
I see it!
Impossible!
But it’s shining bright!
Anythings possible!
You make the rules
Because you are alive!
Throw away your I phone!
Lift your head!
Look at the world!
You are alive!
Talk to the universe!...

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a reindeer with hooves so thick
thought he would really be slick
gonna use an I-phone
to tease his good friend Gnome
pushing the buttons was a trick!

Written 12-14-2018  Contest:  Funny Reindeer Limerick
                               Sponsor:  Tania Kitchin...

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He takes a selfie.
Eaten by a bear.
She takes a selfie.
Carried off screaming.
He takes a selfie.
Plunges to his death.
She takes a selfie,
Run over by a semi.
He takes a selfie.
Carried away by the flood waters.
Do any of the rest of you see a pattern here?...

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Hours seem
Like days since
The day you
Left me
 
All I do
Is looking skyward
With my tearful
Eyes and
A heavy heart
 
You don’t answer
When I phone
As you used to
Before 
 
Guess want to
Be left alone
In her heart
 
Hard to be alone
But if it’s my destiny
I ought to

Saumya Aloysius...

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This raging toothache is driving me quite mad
I phone the dentist, in such terrible pain
Bad tooth must be extracted by the roots
They have a free space at two thirty
‘Tooth hurty’  - I laugh at the appointment time!

Contest Rooting for 8 to 5
Sponsored by Nette Onclaud

01~04~17...

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I've been wanting to call you,
but the rolodex was trashed decades ago,
and the laptops got Alzheimer's.

I need a Bakelite dial phone
one heavy enough
to withstand some heavy breathing.

When the living and the dead communicate
they need the right tools.

Love never dies they say,
yet an I-phone has a microchip
that has everything, but a heart....

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My I-phone rang yesterday; it was a number I did not know
Next to it words read “Scam likely”
how many people would race to answer this one?
I rolled my eyes, glad for a modern day phone.
In the olden days we would have salesmen all the time.
Trying to sell us siding, cars, a new modern mop.
I used to hand the phone to a toddler until they hung up.
Made the toddler happy too....

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Five TV sets mounted on the wall
Constant movement 
All kinds of colors
Muppets, insurance commercial,
Epidemiologist, COVID 19 stats,
Star Trek, crime shows, opera singer
Breaking news, Charlie Brown, 
A community garden,  medical ads,
Ads for hand sanitizer, smiling child,
Old lady, ad for I phone, horses
I have no idea how anyone can do this all day
I watch in disbelief, seeing nothing worthwhile...

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Just ask me and I'll tell ya, he loves me more than not
But excuse me while I phone him (I have this feeling he forgot)
He hasn't been by in a couple of months
But he loves me or at least I thought
'Cause it's been awhile since he told me that
He's human! He forgot!
Now I found this little daisy,
in the cement of a parking lot
And I pulled on its petals
refusing to settle
On the one saying he loves me not...

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So I had to tell her to BLEEP off, Grandma.
She is fourteen, as of forty-six hours ago.
I am shocked.  
I wisely decide to give her some Grandmotherly advice.
Me:  Were there witnesses?
Molly: No.
Me:  Did anyone have their I-phone out?
Molly:  One, but I chased her down and smacked it out of her hand and hit delete.
I reported this conversation to my husband who rolled his eyes
And asked, “How is your Mini-Me?"...

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They had a whiz-bang chatter this morning.
A grandma grandson yackety-yak
Chatty Chat Chat Smile Laugh Laugh
On Facetime, an I-phone application

It was waggery talk
Mischievous but harmless
Nothing offensive was said
It brought a calm to both parties

The FaceTime concept less intimidating than I thought
At first it had bewildered and perplexed us
Grandma did not want to try it until this morning
Now she says “Who shall we call next?”...

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To think I’m now a hermit,
Cloistered in my home,
Haven’t been outside except on my deck,
And even then alone.

I phone in now my groceries,
Amazon is more than busy.
I just found on the porch 24 little gel cups,
And see a house dress is on its way.

I don’t understand myself.
Maxie and I are content.
Seems like I don’t want anyone,
Where has everyone gone and “went?”

I’ll saunter into watch NBC,
Cause I’m scared to death just to be....

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My phone dings for no reason.
I am not playing video games.
I am not trying to speak to a friend.

I am sitting in the living room
And I hear my phone dinging in the kitchen.
I pick it up and stare at it.

There are no alerts.
No messages.
No indicators at all.

I leave it in the kitchen
And it happens again and again
No rhyme or reason to it.

The new phones
have their own personality
their own mood, and their own secretive magical ways....

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When sending out an I-Phone text,
I listen for the noise
That lets you know your text was sent – 
It’s one of texting’s joys.

The sound is soft and sensitive;
It gently does convey
The fact your message made it through
And now it’s on its way.

A little tiny airy zhwoop
Describes the note I hear.
It’s like a subtle sigh that someone’s
Whispered in my ear.

I rarely text, but when I do,
The part that I love best
Is waiting for my confirmation,
Zhwoopily expressed....

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My daddy is in sales the child told me.
He will get hubcaps for you, spinners, copper, whatever you want.
But he is careful about who he sells to.
Can he get me an I-phone?
Sure. He sometimes comes by them.
A stereo?
What’s that?
It’s something no one has any more.
Maybe. I’m not sure.
He doesn't sell to anyone, he reports.
He has to trust you before he sells to you.
I think this is curious.
certain the child has no idea how much information he is sharing....

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Orange gave little Dickens a thumbs up at the table.
Hey! Did you see that? Dickens asked his sister Mable.
Mable refused to look up from her beeping I-phone.
Hey Mom! Dickens said; his sister made him feel alone. 
She’s not here, said the teen. What were you trying to say?
Orange winked at little Dickens, but he put his mouth away.
It is no fun to try to talk to someone who will not look your way.
Maybe she will feel badly about this, when she looks back some day....

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gorillas' power long past noon
makes sun smile in the afternoon
I am swinging from limb to limb
creatures running nickname me Slim

I am the best that I have ever been
The gorilla gives me a thumbs up win
My short arms reach up for another limb
Oh no! One yells. There goes old Slim.

I fall toward my death, breaking at least one bone.
I cannot call for help, I lost my I-phone.
The gorillas snicker, and run back home.
Leaving me in a position, distorted and prone....

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