Short Funnies Poems

She ponders the late evening paper
looking for some reason to smile,
but its only a caper
that catches her eye, while
even the funnies
are too boring.
Its boob tube
snoring
time....

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A “fat psychic” is a “four chin teller” 
A yukker from my extensive comedy cellar
Where my funnies lie
With my barbiturate supply 
Joshing in case some cops are Soup dwellers...

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A “fat psychic” is a “four chin teller” 
A yukker from my extensive comedy cellar
Where my funnies lie
With my barbiturate supply 
Joshing in case some people are bed wetters...

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Okay back to the funnies I promise to go
A wee bit of frivolity, a few giggles or so
We all need laughter
And joy to the rafters
To help us get through this dog and pony show...

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A “fat psychic” is a “four chin teller” 
A yukker from my extensive comedy cellar
Where my funnies lie
With my barbiturate supply 
Joshing in case some people are bed wetters...

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I wrote about love, sadness and the funnies
I even thought my lyrics would get me the honeys
All I got is bank letters addressed to me
The bailiffs round for tea
Please tell me, can my poetry earn me monies?...

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Okay back to the funnies I promise to go
A wee bit of frivolity, a few giggles or so
We all need laughter
And joy to the rafters
To help us get through this dog and pony show


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Got a sweet pretend sister by the name of Jan
She lives across the ocean on the Isle of Man
We're united by the funnies
We don't make much money
Although some of our naughty stuff gets banned

© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Fastest Limerick Man in the West


There was a young man was always up for test
Produced great limericks that rhymed the very best
Some said he had wrote stupor
or maybe had great humor
He definitely stole funnies from the west.

Written: Nov. 17, 2015
Theresa WC...

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“Surely, you can't be serious!” “I am serious and don't call me Shirley”
That's a classic line from Airport starring Leslie Nielsen, a Canucky
It was loaded with these
Funny quotes without sleaze
For those expecting an Oscar-winning performance, not a bloody chance surely...

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Sky of blue
just a tease of a breeze
Beautiful sunny Sunday

Laze around
time to be found
No hurry no rush
a good book and ice lemonade
Warm sunny Sunday

Nap on a hammock
under the shade of an old elm
Enjoy the ease of the pace
Big Sunday paper with colorful funnies to read
Light lunch and leftovers for supper
Nice and easy are these sunny Sundays



04/23/2007...

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I Sidney C Hall 
Have decided to stop writing
The funnies and offending you all

There will be no chicken eyed stare
Or talks of underwear
No farts, 
Butts 
Or mention of tarts

My comments will be just
Not talk of sizes in bust
For this I truly say
This is the last day

I have been naughty and bad
And now I am sad
My intention is not to offend 
But I have one of my best friends...

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You wanted to be 
 one of the great, idolized  masters 
of poetry 
But you were let down"by a king full on eights"
   Weekends after work 
prove joyous 
as you relax 
  read the funnies 
and enjoy !
   Who am I to judge you?
Maybe someone will like 
    your poetry and prose 
in a thousand years 
    Find a fragment and discuss it 
   Won't do you too much good 
But what a FANTASTIC THOUGHT!...

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Obi-Wan Kenobi's lesser known brothers:

The womanizer, Don-Wan

Founder of the Puerto Rican Capitol, San-Wan

The divorce attorney, Nobody-Wan

The Chinese Food chef, Sesh-Wan

Inventor of plastic bottle caps, Scru-Wan

Designer of compact luggage, Stow-Wan

The lazy nomad, Bed-Wan

The eternal encourager, Go-Wan

The coupon-clipping twins, Buy-Wan Get-Wan


[Humor attribution: all humor by yours truly]...

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Everyone knows the limerick king, Jack,
penning funnies, spreading laughter galore.
His wit will give your funny bone a smack,
a legend who'll go down in 'soup' folklore.

Not just for limericks had he a knack,
for his charm one could not help but adore;
so many he touched and when he looks back,
bid he know he remains a cherished mentor.





A collaboration with Silent One 
For Jack Ellison, upon his retirement from the Soup...

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Today's Jack's birthday he's eighty seven
He's not yet ready to go to heaven
Has a positive outlook
Writes funnies, go take a look
Hope his contributions never lessen.

He's the limerick King who wears the crown
Always smiling and never wears a frown
With the girls he's a big hit
And flirts just a little bit
Hope his day's bright until the sun goes down.

Have a happy 87th birthday Jack.


Written 11th August 2022....

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Church on Sundays and a fried chicken dinner
starts the week off is a winner
That big Sunday paper you read in leisure
those funnies are the real pleasure
Chores put off to another day
Sundays are just made that way
Talk on the phone with family and friends
making promises to soon meet again
Sundays are lazy a slow day of peace
when all you do comes at it's least
Sunday naps enjoy the rest
Monday hovers so be at your best
Smile and hold the one you love
Sundays a gift from Above...

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