Short Feller Poems

I went with my son to Gibraltar
We went for a swim in the water
An errant propeller
Chopped off his old feller
So now I just call him my daughter...

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There was a young lady named Dela,
Who always dressed well for her feller.
What did Delaware?
I really don't care,
But I think she should have dressed weller....

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Crap smells really bad no matter the shape or the color
Maybe black, brown, white, yellow, a woman or a feller
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover when you are the smeller...

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Passing gas on a city bus is bad.
You could really make someone very mad!
     Looking around for a clue.
     Acting like it wasn't you.
Someone let one rip from their heliopad!...

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My son Scottie, the eligible bachelor
Has been down the road, still a lonesome traveller
His time will come
Sure as the sun
Keeps rolling around, he's a charming feller!...

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My son Scottie, the eligible bachelor
Has been down the road, still a lonesome traveller
His time will come
Sure as the sun
Keeps rolling around, he's a charming feller!...

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She was pretty. Her long hair was yeller.
He was ugly… a balding old feller
He slurred, "ma handle be Luke,"
She gagged and started to puke,
‘till she saw the gold stashed in his cellar!...

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Everyone has those days that aren't stellar
Noticed lately, Scottie ain't a happiness feller
Always jovial and happy
Lately not very chatty
Hope he recoups and his mood gets better...

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We are eat’n fancy today
My feller and me
Parking in spot three
Feeling happy and gay

We put our app into “intake”
And quickly check in
Waiting for our sausage and hot cake
McDonald’s, a connoisseur win!...

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This bad perfume packing feller, not real popular
                               A natural carrier of rabies and a bad odor for defense
                               To a old West Texas mountain lion, their meat is sweet...

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i found a bird in my yard
seemed it could not fly
it was just flopping about,
so took it in i did...
mended its wounds,
and nourished its needs.
a cat got hold of it,i believe?
now it is under-ground...dead.

poor little feller,it tried....

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I've always prided myself on being a “smart feller”
But sometimes it gets twisted and I say “fart smeller”
Quite good at that too
Sometimes blow off my shoes
Pretty sure the odour has reached interstellar


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Tree trunk dulled the axe,
feller had to sharpen and wax,
apply strength twice as much,
to fell the tree as such,
all arduous deeds are about same,
you have to work hard,hard and hard,
honing,cutting and nibbling,
before they lead you to any fame....

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Not a Fighter 
Limerick
By: Tom Wright
10-5-2019

I once knew this “feller” who would not fight,
at the first sign of trouble he always took flight.
His name was Dan,
and a very good man,
But “he was “yeller” as mustard without the bite”
...

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There once was a feller named Charlie Horse,

   Who was unmercifully teased of course.

      But he took it all in stride,

         With a modicum of pride,

            Damning his zany name 'til he was hoarse!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved...

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In Punxsutawney, a cute little feller
is a slick, and precocious foreteller

Phil predicts with his nose
But the tip of it froze!

He used an icepick to clear out his smeller!!"



______________________________
Punxsutawney Phil Contest: 1/19/15
Sponsored by John Lawless...

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In our fair town lives a feller named Hank.



   He's known as the village drunk to be frank!



      His guts' so huge its bizarre!



         He plops his gut on the bar,



            Sayin' "Fill 'er up, boys! Top off my tank!"



Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved...

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old wooden floors,

through broken and busted doors ,

heard the holler of a feller,

so stealth, but so stellar,

but then I ask why,

for this angel would cry,

an all evenings on these boards and windows we pry,

though I have no fear,

for the end is so near,

how doom is so close to the heavens my dear....

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Girlfriend: so, where’s my birthday gift?
Boyfriend: look, there’s a car near lift,
Sure, you like that colour,
Wow, of course, smart feller, 
Here’s your lipstick, same shade—
Last words indeed he’d said,
For, ever since they went adrift.
_________________________________ 
Limerick |04.08.2023| humour, birthday, boyfriend, girlfriend...

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Ben Franklin was a multi-talented feller indeed,

   Noted mainly for helpin' develop our nation's creed.

      Perhaps lesser known for sufferin' a shockin' jolt

         Foolin' around with an occasional lightin' bolt!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Entry for Nathan's "Yesterdays Clerihew" Contest...

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city fellas dey come to the bush,
the Crocodile barks from his moosh,(mouth)
they think they smart feller, fool ole yella,
more meat says the croc, n goes woosh,
death roll in the donga,
 no more linger longer, 
don't come to his table, 
coroners label, 
says eaten by croc,
 butt n toosh...

thank you Vienna Bombardieri...

Don Johnson...

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Phoebe Buffay 
Plays her guitar every day
She often sings ‘Smelly cat’
Sadly her voice is very flat

Ross Geller
Is quite a nerdy feller
He said Rachel’s name when he got wed
His bride Emily probably wished him dead!

Ross and Pheobe starred in Friends

Clerihew 2 Poetry Contest


Sponsored by Joseph May

09/30/21...

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Ben Franklin was a multi-talented feller, yes indeed,

   Noted mainly for helpin' develop our nation's creed!

      Perhaps he is also known for sufferin' a shocking jolt,

         Foolin' around with an occasional lightnin' bolt!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Entry for PDee's "Battle of the Clerihews # 2" Contest...

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With a wide-eyed grin he slowly dangles his catch 		
a silvery tilapia- first of the first batch				
gingerly gripping the slimy water dweller			
to unhook the hook on that unlucky feller.			
Reaching out graciously, tactile and slim in form			
tiny fingers picking a squirmy  little worm			
a beautifully presented  live dinner bait				
for some sweet and sour fish on his glass dinner plate....

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Had an old Cadillac and a gal named Ann
And I played fiddle in a travelin' band
I loved my Ann and a dog named Yeller
They ran off with a yodelin' feller

I woke up this mornin' on a choo choo train
Bound for Amarillo in the pourin' rain
Starin' out the window started me thinkin'
It's gonna be this way 'til I quit drinkin'


3-22-19
Contest:Wk 4, March 2019, Max 8 Lines
Sponsor: Brian Strand...

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