Short Eighty Two Poems

They hate on your crazy life
because it’s the one that they want to live....

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Holy freakin' Palooza, a heatwave unseen
In my recollection, never been this extreme
In my eighty-two years
Never wakened my fears
Sure need lotsa that SPF 30 creme...

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Was born almost eighty-two years ago
No bits, no bytes, just a neighbourly hello
Bits were wee pieces
Bites gave you diseases
Back when “friends” called you a schmoe...

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When you get to my old age of eighty-two
You and your doctor, dance a pas de deux
An entrée, an adagio
Dance like two buffaloes
Quite a pretty sight, worth a spleen or two...

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Eighty-two years old and still designing stuff
Still in demand, makes me feeling quite buff
They love me still
Oh the great thrill
Not tossed away like an over-the-hill lush...

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Eighty-two years old and still going strong
Have a positive approach so what could go wrong
It's done me well
I've answered the bell
Every morning like a jolly old leprechaun...

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Almost eighty-two and life's still a blast
How long will it continue, how long will it last
Pushing the odds
Testing the gods
Will I still be around when one hundred I surpass...

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Sharky suave loan shark got ahold of my great aunt Jean Sue
Loaned her twenty thousand at the rate of eighty-two
Eighty-two percent is way too high I said.
Joke’s on him, she told me. I will soon be dead....

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Seen many splendid things in my eighty-two years
But the one thing that stands out is a girlie's cute rear
If I lose my seeing
My touchy feeling
Guess I might just as well call it a career...

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Getting limericked out I'll have to admit
Written eighty-two thousand, exaggerating a bit
Have written quite a few
But I ain't yet through
Did you hear about the guy with a pie he was hit


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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In a Tokyo bar, a sign read “Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts”
Well I'm eighty-two, have never heard Japanese ladies possessed coconuts
Maybe in an outlying region
Not known to us civilized legions
But civilized enough for the ladies to have twenty-three pups...

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If you have ever suffered from stress
Be brave and see it addressed
For help is out there
Honestly, some people care
Looking back you'll be fairly impressed

Away back in nineteen eighty two
I was one, it could easily be you
So don't be ashamed
Before it's ingrained
Believe me with help, you'll see it through...

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Inhaler
Dimes
Brown napkin
Three pairs of eye glasses
Two pencils, an eraser and a pen
Wallet with seventeen dollars and eighty-two cents
Comb, cracker, stale muffin, five receipts, toothpicks
Tiny piece of pink ribbon, twenty-two allergy pills
Empty pill bottle
Sometimes finding a forgotten purse feels like Christmas...

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An adrenalin rush, rocked my head 
When I saw a child- on her sled 
It made me think; should I go slide 
I'm eight-two...So, before I died 
Just one more time, before I'm dead 
Or before I'm ridden...in my bed 
What could happen, something tragic? 
I'm eighty-two, can you call that tragic? 
So here I go, down the hill ....Wheeee!! 
Oh my God- ((Tragic)) ...."Peeee"...

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Three days of brutal angry pain has changed her
Eighty-two hours of pain
She is joyless now
Irritation and meanness, 
Gritting of the teeth
Feeling mean, everything hurts

She just got a Charley Horse in her leg
Old age is killing her
She is angry with her body today
The one that is failing her
Letting her down in so many directions
Pain has changed her completely...

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Yellow butterfly zigzags recklessly
into the garden, alighting briefly on marigolds.
Ugly crying bird sound screeches an alarm.
Pretty wind chimes clanging in the wind.

Was it really eighty-two degrees today?
Certainly warm for May first in Kansas.
Fine and happy May Day to you not in person but on Zoom.
I would like to see all of you again in person, and I mean soon!...

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Banjoes picked through Kentucky blue 
grass twenty-two inches long 
awaiting a gurgle of life
blood, and you appeared at sunset.

Eighty-two years from a body
lasting is my love for you every
day broke on the day I became
life tears me up after your

death brings me here shattered 
breath I succor from fettered 
souls who watch me watch
you had a birthday today.

I grieve and curse your card
Grandpa....

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Celtic courtship ended
nineteen eighty-two.
Marriage nuptials blended
"us" from me and you.

Seaside lovers heading 
to the Irish Sea
showcase Christmas wedding, 
silver jubilee.  

Touring without hassle -
Isle of Man’s ferry,
Dublin, Blarney Castle,
Cobh Cork, and Kerry.

Guinness, china, mincemeat
pricey souvenirs;
homespun sweaters compete
lamb’s wool profiteers.


written February 19, 2018
contest:  88 syllables hosted by Joseph May...

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We secured the dogs in a chain link fenced pen
I was gobsmacked to see the puppy ten minutes later
How had he gotten out?
Like a convict he had tunneled out

In ten minutes making a hole under the gate
Big enough to squeeze out his eighty-two-pound body
A space ship could have fit into this hole!
What is he doing now?

I turned to see; he was tearing up the driveway.
This is a black asphalt driveway!
We called a company to fix it;
They were gobsmacked that a puppy had done this!...

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