Short Denture Poems

Tell me now please, are you my lost denture?
Cause I can't smile without you, that's for sure.




Your Best Pick Up Line Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Judy Konos
30 April 2015...

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Trump Did Have Decay

Trump did have decay in each denture,
And so always awful was his adventure;
Emblems afix,
After he licks;
Cussed and each sentence did censure.

Jim Horn...

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Well sing hallelujah and hang out the flags
My denture are broken and my body doth sag
Still a happy old pig
Can still do a jig
But lately having trouble some parts to wag...

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Well sing hallelujah and hang out the flags
My denture are broken and my body doth sag
But a happy old pig
Can still do a jig
But lately having trouble some parts won't wag...

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Censure Trump's Venture

Did see Trump wearing  his each denture;
Had been going on bad business venture,
Like to forget;
Better yet;
About a sex scandal they should censure.

Jim Horn...

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A patient brags her denture like insane,
“Mine shines as the whitest pure porcelain;
So affordable and cheap,
I love it from root to tip!”
Later, cries in the loo of Dentist Dwayne. 

...

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Greetings to My Dentist

Just thought that I would drop by for a while
So I could show off my shiny, great smile
And also my friend here is the final clincher,
I have been brushing my nice, new denture....

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One sunny day little Mary Miller
Picked up a mottled green caterpillar,
Which became a monster moth. 
One fine morn her dad grew wroth:
Her moth laid eggs in his denture filler.
5/2/2023...

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                     tooth
               jagged, canine
        aching, decaying, eating
  denture, enamel, manicure, claw
       grabbing, clenching, filing, 
              etched, pinpoint
                       nail
...

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Never Censure Christ

Christ, we should never censure;
Experiences with Him are an adventure;
He does deserve all our praise;
How I sing to Him will amaze,
As I do it through each denture.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet...

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Oh, how you brushed and washed me, 
And lovingly dental flossed me -  
How tragically you lost me, 
When I was extracted from your skull 
By an overzealous faerie, 
Toothless, hideous and scary, 
Who from kids like you, unwary, 
Snatches denture teeth, which he can cull.  
 
...

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Philosophers debated:
Can a medium ever be small or large?
Is faux leather from fake cows?
Does a hypochondriac think he has everything except hypochondria?
Do denture wearers always give us false smiles?
If a snail loses its shell, does it become a slug?

For Su’s Suzette Prime contest, 27th November...

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And yet
Early to me is 11 AM
With my hair a mess and not yet dressed
My wrinkles are my prime concern
Now all I see is Jeopardy
On my 54” TV
Old they say
Getting grayer each day
But Revlon saved the day
My teeth always shine
Using my denture Cleanser
It is now 12 AM
Time to hit the sack
For a short Nap!

Contest: Play With Me, COLLABORATION
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier
Date Created: 08/15/2019...

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a call had been close
after we would put on clothes
went out door we close

when we did tag it
MAGA became a maggot
applied tourniquet

would be sinister
sermon said by minister
about being spinster

what we knew for sure
increased our expenditure
for one more denture

we would meander
creating gerrymander
did raise up dander

poem would write to read
was great everyone agreed
did the dirty deed...

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WHY DO I WRITE ?



For there is nothing else I can do
For I like the taste of ink on my palm 
For my lady prefers soap operas 
In the cloudy nights  
For the clock is still humming a tune
 That has lost its denture 
In the immigration office 
For there is no other thing I can do at all 
I am writing right now 
And because I have no time left to read the headlines 
Before I go to bed 
To share nights with the pillow in red...

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A CONVENT GIRL  

This is the girl,
Who’s in a whirl,

Who came to the, Convent,
Looking despondent.

This is the nun,
Who’s highly strung,

Who started to lecture,
In spite, of her denture.

This is the Principal,
Who’s very strategical,

Who can dismiss,
If something’s amiss.

Then Mother Superior,
To whom we’re inferior,

Performs her role,
To reach her goal.

These then are the four,
Inside the door,

Of a truly despondent ,
Lady-like Convent...

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If there's one thing in the world that I truly do hate,
it's the fact that I must slip into the north of my mouth a denture plate.
"You'll adjust," I was told, "Soon it will feel a part of you."
They were wrong however. It's simply not true.
I lost the bulk of my teeth at an ERA protest ralley
when an individual who didin't believe as I did kicked the crap out of me,
and now I pay the price so ironically,
cause no women want to sleep with a guy whose lost the bulk of his teeth....

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