Short Cookery Poems

Alas! At last must all be devour'd!
Still won't this brew- fate's bowels favor'd....

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His name was Mr Hamish MacTavish.
He was a Scot, and his taste was lavish.
Mr MacTavish wrote a posh cookery book
So all Cordon Bleu Chefs could try to cook,
A haggis!...

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Come on Babe
I am sat here at home all alone
With the T.V on that channel you know we both like
And I have a tin of whipped cream
And a bowl of strawberries
Waiting especially for you
Hurry up and get home
The cookery channel is about to start showing...

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Here's an ode to make us laugh,
Boomers resilient to the last,
Survived  high school in the sixties,
Where we learnt cookery,
Girls did not have dicks,
Couldn't do woodwork, over it!
Instead, made a pudding of suet,
Fat, fat, fat, eating to rue it!...

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Disana Magluto is our good cook
Who writes recipe in our kitchen nook
With some herbal condiments
Trying all things different
She will write her first fictional cookbook



June 4, 2022  8.23am



PS Syllable Counter
Syllables Per Line:	10 10 7 7 10...

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Sage

I think I’ve finally reached the age
Where people expect me to be Sage 
Imparting knowledge and sound advice
Sounds so good, wouldn’t that be  nice .

Yes, I’ve finally reached that age 
Where one’s expected to be Sage 
But the only Sage you’ll get from me 
Is the kind you find in Cookery...

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Might in want shall 
her gentlemen speak
to have his trusted 
woman take his
 hand.
She gives as much as
she takes
he looks to mornings
to smile
might she kiss him to
began the day


What ways are we different
to the sameness of
our desires
that we meet in ned to
want no more
and will be satisfied and
pleased
From Whelk Cookery...

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Cookery is slavery if you don’t partake of the meal
It becomes foolery if you keep settling the bill
It is misery if you repeat the drill
Familiarity leads to rats chilling in the grill

Employment is exploitation if you can’t get a fair deal
It becomes poverty if you keep taking the pill
It is deprivation with tax deductions on your will
Gullibility that leads the thieves to steal...

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My wife said to me
She didn't feel well,
And if I don't mind, would I cook.
I told her to lay down
And have a good rest,
While I get my new cookery book.
So she went to lie down,
And I went for my book.
Oh what a surprise,
I was in luck.
Hiding behind my new cookery book
Was a menu from a good takeaway.
So I waited an hour,
Then sprinkled some flour,
Then ordered a pizza,that day!...

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We’re watching Saturday
Morning cookery
On TV; wide-eyed
Amateurs impressing
Mock-military judges
With parcels and fools
And baskets and coulis
And ganaches and jus.
My wife likes a recipe
And asks me to record
It for posterity and for dinner.
But I couldn’t care less
About eggs julienne
Because it’s coming up
To half past ten
And my head is screaming
“Run for the muffin!
Run for the muffin!”...

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Versatile being this dish maker
With his peculiar style as a baker
Baking many a cake delicious
And pastries simply sumptuous
A skilled man from Iberian land
A perfect chef in cuisines grand
An ardent artist of culinary crafts 
Making miracles in savory softs
Majestic mien with magnetic touch
Magnificently making dishes such
What a wizard in craft cookery!
Worships his job sweet sugary
A master chef with attitude cool
His food makes one all-powerful..!!...

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Santa I want just one thing by our Christmas tree
please can you bring my dear mummy to me
I blow kisses to her star high in the night sky
and I try to be brave, but sometimes I cry

Daddy tries hard, but he’s not a good cook -
please could you leave him a cookery book.
Santa please please bring my mummy for me
She's the one thing that I really want to see

Love from Charlie

Dear Santa I want Contest
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw

12/27/17...

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I endured burnt offerings at the table -
A meal ‘cooked’ by my mother in law
If I hadn’t been married her lovely son
I’d have walked straight out of the door!

I heaved at every charred mouthful
Smiled, and said the meal was ‘divine’
She told me she’d had cookery lessons
But her food was only fit to feed swine!

Is my poem just a fairy story
Or is it a clever allegory?

What Doesn’t Kill Us Contest
Sponsored by Laura Loo

74 words
02~24~17...

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I think that it's fantastic
When my wife start's to cook,
She gets out all her pots and pans
And MY brand new cookery book.
She starts to peel some potatoes
Then she gets some liquid out.
As I look on in wonder,
At what it's all about.
She then chops up the potatoes
And drops them in the pan.
I don't know what she is doing,
After all, I'm just a man.
At last she shouts it's ready,
She says she's made my tea.
She's sat there eating a takeaway,
And it's a plate of chips for me....

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