Short Babysitting Poems

Gone from my humble home.
Girls have finally grown.
Getting much older now.
Great expectations here.
Granny in waiting me.
Good knitting baby things.
Great for babysitting....

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we fought over the frog poking stick
water snake sizzled past
brothers, supposed to be babysitting
stay off the dock mom had said
Gus, our golden,  retrieved her when she fell in...

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When you're sober and everyone's drunk.
It's like babysitting for a bunch of skunks. 
There's a lot of hijinks and farting.
By the end of the party everyone's bawling and blowing chunks....

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nannies
grannies

watchin’
children

mouth stuffed?
cheeks puffed?

bouncy
ball-ee

legos
clown nose

toy cars
gold stars

knickknacks
thumbtacks

foil from
chew gum

day care
au pair

sitters'
jitters...

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babysitting Ricky
he shows me books on T-Rex. . .
ancient history

years later. . . watching
Jurassic Park on TV. . . 
my two kids and I

games played on a screen
my grandson plays the hunter. . . 
I’m the dinosaur

For SKAT's Dinosaurs Haiku Contest...

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About Trump We Must Be Admitting

About Trump what we must be admitting;
If his childish behavior he is not quitting;
Big bother be;
No tranquility;
Will need much more aid and babysitting.

Jim Horn

MSNBC and ABC seem to match my way 
of thinking. They represent a combined 
75% of our total population. So guess I
must fit there somewhere....

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The babies are so much fun,
So cuddly and warm,
So snuggly, and wonderful,
So ugly when first born.

The babies are so loved,
So cherished, so alive!
But the newborns, with their cat-cries,
Are so annoying when they cry.

Yes, I will babysit your baby.
And we can play and sing and laugh.
I will give her and him both bottles,
But if it is a newborn, I will pass....

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The day he could not find his snuff
Grandpa got out his iron cuff
Grandma brought him an omelet puff
Delightful, cheesy, with some fluff

I do not want to be so gruff,
Grandpa said in kind of a bluff.
But I have truly had enough
Of grandchildren taking all my stuff.

Grandma put down her foxy muff
Patted his hands. They were so rough.
I do not blame you for your huff.
Babysitting is rather tough....

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Were I adept at shape-shifting
I would avoid shadow-lifting
And eschew re-gifting,
I would spend more time sifting
Through forms more befitting
And most likely give up babysitting!

Were I adept at shape-shifting
I think I would consider quitting,
Or at least admitting,
Shape-shifting is hair-splitting
All things possible permitting,
And take up crochet or knitting! 

HONORABLE MENTION
Written May 15, 2022...

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Try to pick a date to meet
A few retired friends
And find it near impossible
For everything depends…

On travel plans or visits
With the kids from out-of-town
Or babysitting grandkids
Or the dentist (for a crown)…

Or tennis games or theater tix
Or else a craft-type class
In beading or in quilting 
Or in knitting or stained glass.

How wonderful to have the time
Without a job to tether
But how complicated just to plan
A day to get together!...

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The garbage truck goes by; I flash
To seven years ago.
I’d lift my grandson up and then,
His eager face a’glow…

We’d step outside so he could watch
The sanitation crew
Dump everything recycled
In the truck for it to chew.

The men would wave and we would wait
Until they drove away,
A little part of our routine
On babysitting day.

These days, he barely notices
When pick-up’s taking place,
But I remember and it brings
A smile to light my face....

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I saw a report on the news today,
about what Social Media did.
People were yelling and screaming how,
they’re not babysitting our kid.

If you can’t control what your children watch,
while you live with them all day long.
Why are you blaming Social Media ,
when something they might see goes wrong.

If you don’t want them exposed to some things,
that some evil people might say.
Perhaps you should not give them a cell phone,
As a gift for their 5th birthday.
...

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you  were there  i  turned  around  and  tryed  to   walk  away.
the  littlle   boy  i  was   babysitting  wanted to  go on  the  swings.
so  i  covered  my   face  when  when  we   got  there  you  noticed me
you  walked  over to  me  and  said  i  know  you  from   work.i  tryed  to tell  him  i   
only  said   you'r  ugly  because  I  was  tricked   by  the  girl  that  does  not  like  
me. dressed  up  as  me  and  walked  over  to  you  and  said  you  were  ugly....

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The days fill up, ‘til every square
Has something penciled in.
Since I retired, that’s the way
It’s somehow always been.

A class, a game, a lunch with friends,
Appointments with a doc,
Some travel plans, museum tours,
A babysitting block.

At times, an empty space stands out,
But I don’t really mind
For I can then catch up with all
The chores I’ve left behind.

Retirement provides the time,
A very special perk,
To do the things we couldn’t do
When we were stuck at work....

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