Short Antacid Poems

Stuck with gas, no antacid had Santa
as he flew Christmas Eve near Atlanta.
When Santa Claus farted,
the reindeer all darted.
And poor Santa cried out, "Oh, Mylanta!”

...

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There once was a story quietly told
A memoir was embrassingly bold
A lady took antacid
For she was very lucid
As antigas formula own tale rolled

Lucid means here easily understood
Sponsor: Destroyer~Poet
Contest:pooping contest...

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Ellworth Ant thought marching was fun
With his good buddies, one by one
Tail next to nose
Never in rows
But some days the odor would stun

Ellworth Ant wished he could compete
to lead the assembled antfeet
Ellworth surmised
(Being trail-wise)
That, not viewing antass'd be sweet...

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New Years Eve celebration
Ever so grateful of redemption 
With overindulgence of consumption

Year-end celebrating 
Edibles I've been craving
Aha so much champagne drinking
Recoup from stomach bloating
Swaying, light-headed teetering

Eek nightcaps of antacid
Verily, not so lucid
Eau de mornings, feeling putrid



For Francine Roberts' contest, "New Years Eve,"...

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The tank's getting low
The needle's on 'E'
And I already owe
A gold mine to BP.

So I look at the prices
Anything under four bucks?
I'll be eating beans and rices
Because this gas guzzler sucks...

...My account dry and flaccid.
On the verge of poverty.
I'll need an antacid 
'Cuz this gas is killing me.


I used to fill my tank with a fist full of ones
But now I have a choice between crying or writing puns....

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First Trimester


It always begins 
like indigestion,
slowly at first, 
then full bore.
Either way,
I need relief.

But no antacid 
can abort a poem
so I have to stop 
and take dictation. 

I’m no Matthew, Mark 
Luke or John.
They wrote the Gospels 
by Divine Inspiration.
I’m on my own. And so
when words cascade

I grab my quill.
I have no choice.
I have to stop
and take dictation. 


Donal Mahoney...

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