Short Ahem Poems

No mercy from god
No God
No soul
No
Just know...

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Time to

Remember

The days of Sep

Sep...what was that song, ~~OH,

August


Date: 09/06/2019...

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Admiring crowds adore his looks;
He sure is easy on the eyes,
And stands so proud without his shorts,
But some refer – ahem - to size…

David by Michelangelo
For Heather’s Famous Art contest...

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Dazzling diamonds
  Precious pearls
Elegant emeralds
  Sapphire swirls

Sparkling silver
  Glitter of gold
Allure of amethyst
  
He gave her multi beryl
  Their wedding's on hold......

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Ahem this phlegm
In snotty body
Needs and pleads
A hotty-toddy.

Think a drink
Or pill will
Fight my plight
Kill this ill?

I might ply
With some rum
Debauch with scotch
Numb the glum.

Until that swill
Outs this bout
My poor sore
Snout will spout....

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bloop
dribble
drip
drizzle
splash
spray
sprinkle
squirt
ahem
belch
blurt
chatter
giggle
growl
groan
grunt
gulp
gurgle
eek
moan
mumble
murmur
squeal
whimper
bam
bang
clang
clank
clap
clatter
click
clink
crash
crunch

:: 10.19.2021 ::...

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At first nobody understands,
some blokes from far distant lands,
when they went to the dunny,
it seemed curiously funny,
they never bothered to wash their hands.

And that’s never our way as it stands,
to wash is what hygiene commands,
so I put it to to them,
and their answer’s - ahem,
because we don’t pee on our hands....

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Constant rambling:
I express the pain
Of being the same
For you,
All the friends you had befriended
Silly me! I didn't know
Were girls from long ago,
I shout at you "I cant be like them,
I am ME!..GOT IT....ahem ahem??"
You look at me with those lazy eyes,
Smirk and tell "Coke and ice,
Floyd and Rock is all i need,
You are just my guilty greed"....

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Hello all!

OH HOW I WISH I WAS A PREMIUM MEMBER! AARGGG!!!

Ahem. Excuse me. ;)

It's just that I have a contest suggestion. I don't mind whoever picks it up... I'm not sure if 
it's a topic that's already been done in the past, but I think a lot of interesting poems would 
come up under it. 

Topic : "Childhood Memories"

Anyone willing to hold the contest?...

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Yesterday, 
when jingles clanged into your compound
Directly from my papa's kraal
Were you not the young woman
Who later swore to stick in sadness, joy and...?

And today,
As we walk out of divorce court
Do you smile
When our children give us torn looks?

Today, and yes, today
For tomorrow is misty
Ahem! Why can't we just forget,
That this is a scar that only the grave will heal?...

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She thought she was hot and top of the heap.
By insulting forms another poet would use?
As if a difficult poem she could ever pen?
                 AHEM!
She then, with a huff, gave up writing poetry.
Opened a lovely restaurant called, "The Old Dancing Hen."
But now......insults her customers, you bet!
No longer does she make other poets, small and fret.


                11-1-2020

...

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The thought of you and me in bed
    rings alarm bells in my head
  I don't know, it just doesn't seem right
    to have you for myself all night

  Of course, I love your torrid affection
    I'm just very concerned about the direction
  that our ahem, uh, er -- you know what I mean
    when our lips meet under covers unseen

  So I'll be the adult right here and now ~
    I shall not sleep with my beloved meow...

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The Holy Bible is a Journal.   
On the desk, and it's definitely 
not made of Mahogany, 
it's lightly-stained Oak.

The blanket is Navaho.   It's All Sacred.   
Those Impeccable Tribes of the Desert -via the Fountaini

 - will make more,  but the Object can't be Programmed.

It's one of the gadflies or juggernauts , 
some say Gordian Knots, 
of Simulation "Theory."

It's REALLY HARD (some say - ahem - difficult) to simulate a Grandpa....

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Three legs,
four eyes,
five hands,
and two heads,
they could not beleive,
he was there,
and born,
but they had to,
when they saw him ahem!,
what could they do,
look bewildered and flat,
and in shock do a full spat,
they walked around,
looked him full,
it was an average hour,
they spent with him,
in single or groups,
then they returned,
very seldom to come back,
to work their lives,
with two legs,
two eyes,
two hands
and a head....

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Since the government won't define 'woman'
    Let me help: They're demonstrably super-human
 
  Until recently, thought to be closer to God than men
    'Progressives' aim for 'equality' ~ ahem ...




   ____________________________________________
   Speaking at a White House Meeting on Aug. 31, 2022,
   Education Secretary Miguel Cordona refused three times
   to answer this direct question: 'What is a woman?'
   (The Daily Caller, Reagan Reese, April 18, 2023)....

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Dumb charade was a riot,
they laughed as he could not get,
what she pointed with fret,
he made errors,
as she shouted in clamour,
time was running out fast,
they were trying hard,
and could get object at last,
I was watching all of them,
and was also laughing ahem,
a thought struck me there and then,
look at the hundreds of deaf and dumb,
who play this game with so much elan,
without any mirth and plan,
evrybody lets them gesticulate and flap,
but nobody come forward to clap....

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