First try at limericks
If not correct could some genius limerick writer advice ... ta <3
AABBA 5 LINES
There once was an old man called santa
Who loved a big glass of cold fanta
He grew fatter and fatter and fatter
Couldn’t stop eating sausage in batter
He sure had good banter
I am not yet tall-table high.
Mum turns up the blue flames,
lowers the thick sausages,
dripping crackles,
the iron skillet is licked fat.
The meat finds its voice,
a splutter of buttery smaze,
the pork is in bloom,
the animal inside the flesh
disappearing,
the meat opening florets of aroma.
A drool forcing sizzle,
makes wet lips chew air.
Mother turns, cheeks flushed,
not looking at me.
Say’s
“He will love these.”
A flash in the pan,
a gutted put-down,
and me
too low to see over myself.
Three cocktail sausages jumped out of a tin
Off they went in a Ferrari for a spin
The weather was perfect, the ride a breeze
Everything was going well, until one sausage began to sneeze
Sweat dripped down the sausage's skin
It fell out of the racing car and wished it were back in the tin
The big wheels of a jeep almost crushed it but the wind blew it away
And nobody ever found it until today
There was a time a chef migrated to the moon
“Here I will do my business”, he whispered
he prepared the oven
but he had to come to earth for firewood
he needed water
but he had to come down to Lake Superior for fresh water
he made delicious sausages
but he had to come to Buenos Aires for customers
Then he had a second thought
I will migrate to the dark side of the moon
Happily the chef went
but he found only foot-marks of Chinese and garbage bins
The darkness overwhelmed him
But with hope alive, he reached Mars for another trial
Six Silly Sausages
Six sizzling sausages:
One two three,
Four five six.
Sizzling, SILLY sausages.
Why so silly?
Just listen…
Sausage number:
One “Wheeeee”
Two “Sizzzzzle”
Three “Crackkkkle”
Four “Bang!”
Five “Zeezeezeeeee”
Six …
Hang on-
Where’s sausage number six?
But it was too late.
Scrap the cat was
Licking his paws...
So...
Five silly sausages sizzling
And one cat purring.
Copyright Emily Joshua
Pop down to the shops Son
I need some bits and bobs
Just a few potatoes
And a dozen crusty cobs
While you’re there, you might as well
Get carrots and some greens
Some frozen peas, some sugar
And a tin of Heinz baked beans
Some tea, I think we need some
Minced beef for shepherds pie
A pound of cheese, the Leicester
We’ll give that one a try
We haven’t any biscuits
You know the ones I like
Only get two packets, mind
Be careful on your bike
When you get back I’ll do some
Bread and dripping for your tea
A slice of bread and scrape for you
And sausages for me
© John W Fenn 03-07-2009
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