Funny Rude Poems

I wanted to leave the world behind,
But she said, "I want our story to be romanticized".
So I buried us alive, side by side.
...

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He lived in a small village
Dick Longly was his name
He was known for miles around
An extra long willy his claim to fame

The men folk thought...

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Dumpers
The gal with the **** cannon
Let’s one rip a right good fart
You can smell it from here
It smells of baked beans
And mushy peas plus cabbage
I...

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**** Hat

The American was an **** hat

A real screw ball idiot

Who didn’t care what people thought

She did this and that what she wanted

A new tattoo...

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A surgeon dreams of slicing livers.
A dentist dreams of teeth and gums.
Proctologists envision fingers
and thumbs....

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A vicar once said to a nun
Why don’t you and me have some fun
She yawned and said, “Look,
I’ve got the good book,
So, just let me...

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Lewd Louie came from Windy City
he went straight for the nitty gritty
	got fresh with Margo
	who told her man Beau
who kicked his a** with rhythmicity...

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Her face showed he'd come off as predal
Now it was too late to backpedal
"Stupid wins prizes,"
She shouts, "of all sizes,"
Her handprint now worn like a...

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From your head down to your toes
I'll be kissing you all day.
But may become distracted
and only get halfway....

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Please say thank you~don't be rude
Ever sit and watch people feud
Over the hills and valleys to
People say crazy things that make me come unglued
Laughing until...

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A knee-Imprisoning Marsh 
And Labor-Demanding Field;
Not agriculturally harsh
But planters forcing to fitness wield …

Rice farmers decide to be rude,
A hundred in an ugly mood.
“Blast Mr....

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A woman crouched upon the floor,
retrieving something, near the door.

I walked into the busy shop, 
while talking to my mum,
I hadn't seen the woman there...

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"What are you doing here?"
"I'm standing here."
"Can't you read? It says no loitering!"
"I'm not loitering, I'm standing."
"Standing is loitering!"
"Can I sit on the ground then?"
"No!...

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As I go through the store shopping,                                    you...

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I often wonder,                      ...

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