Retentive Poems

Retention Pond

If displaced, found nowhere, but in water
     of the retention pond,
no longer in V-formation, nowhere
     in the bluest sky,
however, beneath and at the behest
     of angels, ruled by God,
it is my greenest eyes that you swim in,
     as I exit the highway.

This exit didn’t exist when Mom was alive,
     nor the quick stop, QT,
that I pass by, so close to my dad’s house.
     On a cul-de-sac, road’s end,
I pull into his short, straight driveway, push
     open the door, unlocked.

I quick-tell my story of the seized geese,
     it was only mine to tell,
of how I saw their takeoff as if they were planes
     leaving the lonely spot,
their brief stay with only my mind and heart
     to excite; somewhere lifting
into the gray, blue day prodded on by
     a host of angels.

Dad doesn’t recall the retention pond; is
     it nowhere
but in my imagination; oh no,
     it is so real, beyond nowhere, somewhere
where his eyes can’t see,
     for Dad drives straight to the liquor store,
prepared to see olives
     in his martini; but he’s happy to see geese fly
 out my retentive mouth.

The Angels Came For Her

The depths of their hearts
a storm that never quits.
its lamentation…pausing
between flashes of lightning,
lighting up the frozen stage
of irreconcilable grief…
the breakpoint - unexpected,
gushing forth the consummate love
for a life well-lived, a soul
in perpetual peace - a mother

who they would’ve guessed
would bide for 25 more years

but the angels came for her
as she dreamed of heaven -
her faith in Christ unbroken.

her abiding love will reside
in future generations
who will glimpse it in retentive eyes.

3/11/2022

Piano

eighty eight 
keys with only
eight fingers and
two thumbs to plunk

away at what
ever i want to say
expressively or 
depressively or

possably atonally
not anally retentive
that i need every
note rote

but i need
to finish this
and submit this
poem in less than

three minutes
to make my day
as i told mi Musa
a day of instrument

poetry 
so i bid
thee a silent
symphony at my

fingertips
not to forget
the metronome
time clock and slow

myself
to an easy
carefree piece
in adagio

Memory Needle

My mind is a plain white cloth 
On which the memory needle often pricks 
Sharp, bright, retentive and so forth 
Occasionally it will also plays tricks 
With its unlimited gigabytes 
It can store a lifetime highlights 
When it sees my unhappy signs
It'll stitch very gloomy designs 
If I am in a very happy mood 
It'll reminisce over unhealthy food 
The problem with my memory needle 
Is that, it has no boundaries. 
It will prick me uninvited 
Even when I am ill or tired 
It's like the deep blue ocean 
Very unpredictable; waiting for action 
Pricks can be painful or blissful 
Can even be hateful and shameful 
But I like my fabric to be 
As plain and clean as it can be 
So I try very hard to train my mind 
To ignore the needle, and be kind 
As long as I don't get carried away 
My memory needle cannot spoil my day

Quirky Me

A

messy **** retentive
shy extrovert
dancing in the corner
that's me
a babbling bouquet 
of awe fits
and rage
and you'll have to compete
with the birds
for my attention
and sorry
without emotional impaction
I have no retention

can you tell me again your name?




18.02.04

Composed for Madison Demetros'
"Quirks"

The August Lion

The August Lion

By: J. Philip Harris

In the area of the afternoon, right before the stars
Where the little gray strands spread out among the coffee roots
Through the looking glass 
Beyond the esotropic eyes 
In the land of the chevron lane and the laughter of the silly school boy
In the heart of a sawbones' hands
Beyond the reaches of the retentive shadows 
Where the hiccups of life have sought to crush his spirit
In the echoes of his father’s soul
Through the reflection of his mother’s love 
Like a break-loose dance of life’s unbinding freedom to feel and to breathe.
Here in the whisper 
Hear the gentle purrs thrown out into the void 
Like diamond lights in the dark matter
Here, the hero.
Hear the August Lion.

Crossing the Pet-Peeve Line

****-retentive 
stick up the ass
over-reactive
over-dramatization
over seemly unimportant 
irrelevant issues seemed to 
always be the response to 
crossing over the pet-peeve line
that had been created over time

Apricot Tarts

As I lie here on my death bed
Feeling the last beats of my heart
My only regret is, I didn't close
The lid on the apricot tarts

Sounds like a kind of trivial thing
But to some, it's a big faux pas
Little things are very important
To me, that's a major flaw

In the overall scheme of things in life
So they're not as fresh as alleged
I'll eat those things any way they come
Don't mind if there's fur on the edge

I think they call it **** retentive
And applies to so many things
Like how dishes are placed in the dishwasher
And how you must rinse everything 

I really do feel sorry for these **** people
They need to start enjoying their life
Stop worrying 'bout all those silly things
Now you have it, my sage advice

© Jack Ellison 2014

Exit At the Orifice

**** retentive is so inventive
it thinks up things it hadn't oughter
equating intrusion with goaled incentive
requiring minutia without giving quarter

so processes demand greater complexity
measuring quantitative numbers and sets
procedures create a mess in front of me
with analysis it's as good as it gets

graphs and charts of diagonal lines
measuring downs and ups of productivity
recombinant combines increasing declines
we can nearly measure neural negativity

government or business it's bureaucracy
just follow the line, to end of the day
a modality that surely is the best for me
the point is, don't question, just obey

theories show people aren't automatons
with modifying to change this hypothesis
and understand the ass-umption we live upon
we'll just tweak the sphincter processes

© Goode Guy 2014-01-31

**** Retentive Meets Slob

I'm as un-**** retentive as one can be
My wife's at the other end of the dial
Makes for interesting discussions at times
They sometimes last quite a while

Opposites attract, they say it's true
In our case it surely illustrates that fact
Must show restraint every damn day
For the sake of the dog and the cat

Dishwashers get loaded a certain way
Or armageddon will surely approach
All these years I've been loading it wrong
Really thought it was beyond reproach

There's others, surely too many to mention
Computer would run out of bytes
Be sure you marry an opposite personality
And enjoy all those rousing fights

I'm as un-**** retentive as one can be
My wife's at the other end of the scale
Perhaps another reason for such marital bliss
She's a female and I'm a male


© Jack Ellison 2013

Apricot Tarts

As I lie here on my death bed
Feeling the last beats of my heart
My only regret is, I didn't close
The lid on the apricot tarts

Sounds like a kind of trivial thing
But to some, it's a big faux pas
Little things are very important
To me, that's a major flaw

In the great, overall scheme of things
So they're not as fresh as alleged
I'll eat those things any way they come
Don't mind if there's fur on the edge

I think they call it **** retentive
And applies to so many things
Like how dishes are placed in the washer
And how you must rinse everything 

I really do feel sorry for these people
They need to start enjoying their life
Stop worrying 'bout all those silly things
In Heaven, there's none of that strife!

Making the Bed

On my bed is a colorful quilt,
Not hand-made – it came from the store.
Each morning I lay it out, always the same;
It’s so simple, it’s not like a chore.

It has to be facing the way that I like,
Connecting green squares on the top.
The sides must be even and thus all around,
It will hang with the perfect-length drop.

The pillows are fluffed, each one touching the next,
And are topped with a match-the-quilt sham.
If you enter the room and expect something less,
Then you really don’t know who I am.

Unless – and it is an occurrence so rare,
There must be a good explanation –
My husband has made the bed, then you will note
It seems lacking in coordination.

The top of the quilt’s where the bottom should be;
The pillows are huddled behind it.
The shams block the headboard and there is my spouse,
Never suspecting I’d mind it.

To him, it looks great, though of course not the same,
But he claims he was being inventive;
While I like things to be just the way that I like – 
I admit that I’m ****-retentive.

How you’re wired determines your preferences here;
I’m fanatic ‘bout how my bed’s looking.
So I told my husband, just leave it to me,
And stick to your forte, the cooking!

Psychiatrist Phone Greeting

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you please.
Press 3, 4, 5, and 6 if you have multiple personalities.
If you happen to struggle with ADHD
just press..hey look over there. A little kitty!
If you are paranoid-delusional, don't press anything at all. 
Just stay on the line and we'll trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully to the little voice in your head
and it will tell you eventually which number to press.
If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.
If you are phobic, don't press anything.
If you are manic-depressive, whatever number you press really won't matter
because the bottom line is no one will ever answer.
If you are **** retentive, I've been told
to put you indefinitely on hold.

Hold Steady

Car on fire smoking
Alternator shot
400 dollars drained
Pockets empty
Hold steady...

Coffee spilled on laptop
Fights at work
Anger from financial strain
**** retentive drivers
Hold steady...

Car fixed, thank God
Laptop dried out still works, thank God.
Arguments end, thank God
Drivers live another day, thank God
And since then...

I always thank God and somehow.... Hold Steady.

Lines To Live By Thanks M W

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
Every woman knows, an ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises. 
When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.
Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.
When they say boldly go where no man's gone before, they don't mean the kitchen.
Honey when I said I wanted something to hang my hat on I didn't mean THAT!
Any port in a storm is a good way to divorce court dearie!
Titillating is not an excuse for going to girlie bars.
Anyone got a buck I could sure use one?
Grab a piece of **** will you, it may be the last thing you ever grab.
**** retentive? You don't say!
Lip service now there's a concept.....

*Listen for the drum roll!

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