Every morning,
I wake up trying to make things right with God.
Trying to feel worthy again.
As if I failed Him in my sleep
and need to be restored before I can take a step.
It’s a bitter rhythm
the up, the down
the constant wondering
if He’s mad at me.
This is what they did to me,
taught me to see every silence as punishment,
every mistake as proof that I’m the problem.
I’m working harder to unlearn their voices
than anything else.
Always wrong.
Always to blame.
Because no one ever said, I’m sorry.
No one ever said, You were right to feel hurt.
So now my mind builds prisons out of guilt,
and my heart keeps looking for a key
in the hands of the very people who locked the door.
God, I want to be free.
But part of me still believes
if they saw what they did
if they reached for me,
tried to make it right
then I’d matter.
Then my pain would matter.
I want to believe I could taste love
without earning it first.
That I wouldn’t have to shrink,
or apologize,
or take the blame again
just to belong.
used to wear heels
dressing with fancy jewelry
not any more
all about comfort
pajamas and nightgowns
barefooted too
retirement
unhurried and unstressed
free to be me
At times, you failed your family, yourself,
and God. Your conscience wouldn't quiet down
until you said, "I'm sorry. Could you please
forgive me?" All said "yes," but still you felt
remaining guilt you couldn't rise above.
You couldn't comprehend your frame of mind,
the feeling that--no matter how you tried--
you couldn't do enough to make amends.
You prayed to find the path to happiness
and knew that only God could show the way.
Then God revealed the truth you'd failed to grasp,
that peace and joy cannot abide in hearts
of those who can’t forgive or love themselves.
You felt the ease of conscience you’d long sought
when shackles of self-loathing fell away.
You still fail God, yourself, and family,
and you will do so till you breathe your last;
but now you can forgive and yourself,
for love enables people to forgive.
If love of self were wrong, would God have said
that we should love our neighbors as ourselves?
The coveted snow
as depicted on postcards
Universal price
Receptive to sympathy
discomfort - FM symptoms
///
* FM symptoms: Fibromyalgia Pain
"some words; guitar tunes, and a Korg keyboard"
presently
i'm busy
juggling
one or two
things
while
trying to
keep a
balanced
checkbook
We are all invited to a banquet,
a celebration unequaled
by the richest imagination
for eternity.
And all that is required of the guest?
a joyful, thankful, faithful price -
the belief and trust
in Jesus Christ.
Ecological relationship
forms theological minds
and ego-rational hearts,
both omnipresently transcendent
and intimately political;
Both inhale enlightening
and exhale empowering
Earth justice
from interdependent EarthTribe peace
toward cooperatively invested freedoms
for compassion
both right hemisphere inclusive feelings
and left hemisphere deductive thoughts,
reductive-inductive dialogue;
Both ecosystemic Beauty
and ego-recentering Truths;
Multiculturally co-passionate,
non-violently communal,
restoring theological peace
as ecologically balanced justice
Where life becomes peaceful medication
love is freedom's EarthSoul meditation.
Success Requires Patience
Written: by Miracle Man
12-19-2019
Unless patience is in your recipe,
you’re shy the main ingredient.
The seed of success won’t sprout,
without patience and being obedient.
First a tree, then finally an orchard,
A dream started with a single seed.
But the seed of success didn’t sprout,
without labor to supply it’s need.
“if you want a place in the sun,
you’ve got to put up with a few blisters”
Abigail Van Buren
F-aith
R-equires
A-ction
N-icely
C-hanging
O-bscurity
I-nto
S-hining
Y-ielded
V-ictory
O-nce
N-otorious
N-egativity
E-xits
Topic: Birthday of Francois Yvonne (April 25)
Form: Vertical Monocrostic
AN IRRITATING BUMBLE BEE
INSISTED ON RUNNING INTO ME.
TRYING MY PATIENCE
OR SO IT SEEM.
I TRIED TO IGNORE
FOR I WAS TRYING TO DREAM.
I OPENED MY EYES
TO A CLEAR BLUE SKY.
POLITELY ASKED
THE QUESTION WHY.
AROUND IN CIRCLES
HE CONTINUED TO FLY.
HE FLEXED HIS WINGS
AS IF HE HAD POWER.
I INHALED THE FRAGRANCE
OF WILD FLOWERS.
WENT BACK TO SLEEP
FOR ANOTHER HOUR.
10302018
Requires much more of me
Than is required usually
Not at all used to being
Required to do anything
Outside of my comfort zone
Glad that this will only
Last a short time
I Will be glad to get
Back to normalcy
Once again once the
New school year begins
Would you rather me lie? Not tell you the truth?,
Tell me,,,,is that really loving you?,
If I keep these things from you I would be lying to you,
How much could I love you if I just ignored the truth?,
Should I play along, not care enough to say?,
I'm sorry to say love doesn't work that way,,,,,
Would you like me to pretend? Because that would be easy,
Is that what you want? Because you wouldn't still be here with me,
Love always requires sacrifice, it's not always pretty to see,
I would want you to do the same thing for me,
Don't humor me when you see me screwing up,
If I get bent out of shape, I'll get over it soon enough,
But in your honesty to tell the truth,
Proves time and time again how much I love you,
That small moment of hurt opens my eyes,
I would never give up on our love because you've helped me realize,
I love you always.....
Awareness requires only that we pay attention and see things as they are
It doesn’t require that we change anything
Success
is not easy
you try
Trying
unsuccessful
you fail
Failing
you stop to dream
hope lost
Losing
you give up life
and stop
Stopping
life slips away
slowly
Slowing
time pass you by
it moves
Moving
fast with the flow
of life
Living
requires courage
to bear
Bearing
Life's challenges
that come
Coming
with each new day
you live
For the "Mussetle Train" Contest
Sponsor: Richard Lamoureox
12/09/14
Circle requires square,
To off his top outerwear
Show her his respect.
(January 15, 2011 Wausau, Wisconsin)
(c) Copyright 2011 by Christine A Kysely, All Rights Reserved
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