Refurbished Poems - Poems about Refurbished

...or Jack be walking funny for a while... Jack was nimble, And Jack was quick, But he miscalculated That candlestick. It was skinny and tall, He was thick and quite small. When he lit, It was with an undignified bump, With a blister The size of his fist on his rump. Then a notion occurred To this game little actor, Before he tries it again, Jack will use a...

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I've two computers I'd like to sell, They're old, but they both still work very well. They are Windows desktops, aka, a PC, One browses with Firefox, And one with IE. I can't recall, now, which is which, But as near as I can tell, The latter's in the Acer, And the former in the Dell. ...

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Why did little Tommy Tucker Have to sing for his supper? Did he stammer and stutter To merit just bread and butter? And what miscreant oaf Would then give him a loaf But nary a knife to cut through it? Didn't Tom have enough strife In his life with no wife, Or did fat spread on starch Help him chew it? ...

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Mrs. Spratt was exceedingly fat, Hubby Jack was as lean as a bone. They both relished each meal With a great deal of zeal And even licked platters clean When the eating was done. Though not frugal with rations, They still took lovely vacations With the money they saved on dish detergent alone. ...

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It's no wonder that old dame knew not what to do, If she thought she could raise kids alone in a shoe. She proved after the second She was overly fecund, Maybe Mother Goose reckoned she'd have child support, too. ...

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The first little piggy went to market; The second demurred and preferred to stay home; The gluttonous third one Ate all of the roast beef, So the fourth hungry piggy got none. Although it's not clearly stated, His thirst must have been sated And his bladder inflated 'cause number five urinated All the way home. ...

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Old MacDonald had a farm With some noisy critters on it. They mostly mooed, or neighed, Or clucked, or brayed, But some stayed Resolutely mute, I'm afraid. It wasn't his equines, Or bovines, Or fowls, Or anything lodged in his barns or corrals, But a couple of rather recalcitrant vowels. The "e" and the "i" and the "o" Answered the call, While the "a" and the "u" Stayed conspicuously AWOL. ...

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"Tom, Tom the piper's son Stole a pig and away he run. The pig was eat, And Tom was beat, And Tom went crying down the street." Now, this rhyme, For a reader, Offers minimal relief As to who ate the pig Or who chastised the thief. And why Tom was punished When his dad wasn't able To pipe well enough To put food on the table? I can...

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...or It's good to be the king! What was't made King Cole Such a merry old soul As he sucked on his pipe, And he supped from his bowl, And he fiddled around With three young court musicians? And what was the role Of his missus, Queen Cole? Was she under a table With a lad from the stable Who was told he'd be able To upgrade...

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An itsy bitsy spider Is waiting for the rain To drip its final droplets down So she can weave her web again. Next time she'll choose a better spot Than that worn-out water spout. It was damp and cramped And the sun could never quite Completely dry it out. This web she'll string between two trees, A fat oak and one much thinner. Then with lacey,...

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!!!CAVEAT LECTOR!!! This one's a bit naughty, dear readers... You've heard of Snow White And the story reported Of the seven wee dudes With whom she consorted. Well, here's the actual skinny On what really occurred, Just another example Of how stories get blurred. The facts are quite shocking, Some may be offended, But read on, if you dare, Discretion much recommended. The dwarves toiled in a mine And...

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When Old Mother Hubbard Examined her cupboard And found not a scrap there to munch on, Not one morsel that clung To an ort or a crumb, She felt foolish and dumb And stood sucking her thumb While her dog, Butch, got nothing for luncheon. "She forgot to go shopping again," grumbled he. She just scratched his ears sighing, "Sorry, pal. C'est la vie." When pangs...

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The rhyme "Hey diddle diddle" For me poses a riddle: What possible need Has a cat for a fiddle? A cow might jump over the moon, So I'm told, If a milkmaid's hands Are unexpectedly cold. Which could make a dog laugh, Or anyone, for that matter, Just as funny as cutlery "Spooning" a platter. This rhyme is so silly, Raises so many questions, But as for solutions, Not one...

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The thing about Mary that was extraordinary Was her parents on her pulled a fast one. They gave her a first name, multiplied it by two, But neglected a middle and last one. And so Mary Mary was deemed quite contrary, But, oh, what a green thumb had she. Though she didn't grow okra, Tomatoes, or peas, Or cucumbers, parsnips, Or beets, if...

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I Midas King Midas' greed for riches was such That everything turned to gold in his clutch, As did his daughter one day When she got in the way. Much better for her had they not kept in touch. II Arthur The Camelot tale is a wonderful fable, And King Arthur and knights were all equally able, But had trouble deciding Just who was presiding When...

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