Refurbished Nursery Rhymes: Old Mother Hubbard, a Cautionary Tale

When Old Mother Hubbard Examined her cupboard And found not a scrap there to munch on, Not one morsel that clung To an ort or a crumb, She felt foolish and dumb And stood sucking her thumb While her dog, Butch, got nothing for luncheon. "She forgot to go shopping again," grumbled he. She just scratched his ears sighing, "Sorry, pal. C'est la vie." When pangs of hunger are felt, Humans tighten their belt, But poor Butch started howling As his stomach was growling, For a mastiff has needs to be regularly fed. So…since there was no baloney… And…since she was nice and bony… Mother Hubbard wound up on the menu instead. This tale has a moral, As some nursery rhymes do, And this one's a little bit gruesome, it's true: A pet owner's job's To protect not neglect him, So feed yours each mealtime, For if too long overdue, Your "Butch" might be inclined To make a meal out of you.