I'm no grump
nor one to dump
let alone mock
but I can't like or lump
a pudgy frump
in a frock
who my world don't shock
yet here's the kicker
as a chick
she'd be slicker
and not to deride
but if she'd lose a few
a pound or two
the sooner the quicker
on either side
she'd be bodacious
I'd be flirtatious
and we'd roll and rock
around the clock
Giggle and jiggle the pudgy belly.
With a thunderous boom, Santa's jelly
were diet-free snacks.
"Breaking some knick-knacks,"
ordered Rudolph to the nearest deli.
She, in her Easter bonnet
Standing beneath the shade,
Alongside gentlemen in top hats
To view an Easter parade
Church bells ring distantly
Showy, white lilies sway,
Waving to sweet daffodils
On this springtime holiday
Baskets with chocolate rabbits
Jelly beans and colored eggs,
Are carried by happy children
Running by on pudgy legs
A whirl of pastel colors
Meant to delight the eye,
Like the first time seeing
A robin or a butterfly
Joyous music fills the air and
Easter dinner is on the way,
Ham and pineapple wait at home
To round out this special day!
It’s an epidemic really,
Putting a price on the putty we all need
Now it’s all porcelain.
But porcelain can’t make porcelain
You were once pudgy just like me,
I watch as you scoff at the familiarities,
Meanwhile an eraser is shaving down the final pigment of your palace.
Ongoing war
A not tall, a rather pudgy little man
who is an absolute ruler over his twenty million-something inhabitants
Got visited by another powerful man, who is slim
but not tall like his diplomat
the fat man was happy, had his country turning out
waving flags, their dance and jubilation
photo taken, fraternity and contracts signed
For the absolute ruler, who had his brother killed
to be sure of his power, it was a great opportunity
to take, not so tall man, around looking at things
the visitor had won a war and was in high spirits, smiled
patted his strands of hair and asked himself
since his host harvests hair as a big business, should he ask for a discreet rug?
He decided not to ask, his face is so well known
that jokers in the foreign press would make jokes
make him look vain
He did the masculine thing, buying artillery shells
instead, not that he needs a lot to know
but one never knows what hysteric people can do
those who cannot accept defeat.
Pudgy Wudgie Cudgy Smudgie Little Pig
Had a mud bath that smelled like fig
Bees swarmed around to see what they could see.
Shy Little Pig got angry and said “Stop looking at me!”
My Dog Shelbie
You make me laugh,
my furry butt friend.
It makes no difference where we go,
you would follow me to the end.
And what a disgrace you are!
Have you no shame!?
You seek out for consumption other dog’s remains,
and leave a gift for all to see! Oh! From that you cannot refrain!
But it’s that object, why do I find so much humor from your hunched pose,
that I’ll send its image to friends in response to their lucid texts composed.
Your head is on my shoulder as we sup together, as you beg by my side.
Oh! How can I resist those pudgy lips, and those cute Aussie bright eyes?
You do everything to please me, even gather my shoes.
Oh! You are my perfect fuzz face friend with all to gain and nothing to lose.
I guess we are stuck together, I say to you with a wink and a nod,
It's you and me kid, like two peas in a pod.
“How about a walk? Let me get the leash... and the bags.”
by Martin Braun
January 6th, 2024
Dedicated to my Shelbie
Fudgy was Pudgy
little too much pudding pie
damn that stuff is good
Around my hips, too much weight
In place of a stomach, I've a spare tire
My face is pudgy, slightly bloated
Dark forces against me conspire ...
But I've reversed course, I'm shedding pounds
Part of me's now in the Lost & Found
Though I'm not quite ready to celebrate
when I still tip the scales at 288!
A faded white shirt
accents his rumpled brown suit
He takes his place unobtrusively
sits content, quietly
His preferences pedestrian
narrowly bourgeoisie
Guests sample exotic liquors
His pleasure is tea
He cares not for flaming duck, nor for pheasant-under-glass
His pudgy fingers put a chokehold on a peanut butter sandwich
For dessert, the raspberry tort was recommended
~ Buffett pockets two mints, peppermint-scented
____________________________________________________
Of course, it's 'The Oracle of Omaha!' Is there any other Buffet
on the world's radar?!
Within the oak tree, I have settled here
Whilst aureate sun peeks between the leaves.
My chirping song is heard roosting from top;
Can you see me; beguiling is the day.
Inherent nature's rhyme, a placid scene.
Winter has passed its chilling visit.
Spring with twelve hours daylight, nights my shortest.
I am three years old with reddish-orange breast,
Unbound and quintessential of them all.
Tugging squirmy earthworms out of the ground.
Cherubic is the flanking mockingbird
Has alone flown away now is silent.
I rule the passing hours of night and day.
Good-bye, good-bye the fiddle months last flit.
Summer nearly done, Autumn outburst late
With fruit bayberry, cherry, pyracanth;
Around the lattice to set pudgy grapes
Budding flowers for fructifying bees.
Lingering on a branch plume with winter
First snow my wings are spread quickly, fly off.
A glow of warmth I bring on winter's day!
1/27/2023
Winter is not Forever Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: BJ Legros Kelley
There once was a pudgy old elf
he loaded the toys from the shelf
filled the sleigh full
too heavy to pull
needed to lose half of himself
Hello my poetry soup family
I'm back from a much needed internet fast
I pray all of you are doing well and are in good health
Hopefully laughing at least once a day
Although cracking up is better
let's make that our goal.
Cracking up at least once a day
Not a snicker
Not a giggle
Not a smirk
Uncontrollable laughter
The kind that echo and travel down the black top
Split at the corner of the block and go in both directions
The kind of laughter that happens 9 times in a row
Until it's out of your system
But you have to grab your pudgy midsection
Because its in pain after you're done
I'm laughing and smiling in Philly (215)
Hopefully it's contagious
And you catch that instead of COVID
I had a rival whose name was 'Susie'
The streetwalker I'd nicknamed 'the floozie'
Through the night she would strut
Wiggling her pudgy butt
If only I'd been holding an Uzi!
One night Susie and I had quite a spat
She called me a brat. I chided, "You're fat!"
But when she pulled my hair
I felt my temper flare
Bellowed at her, "Susie, you're not all that!"'
She said I was such an annoying prig
I tore off her cheesy Barbie Doll wig
Her horse teeth were gnashing
as she lay there, thrashing
Squealing much louder than a suckling pig.
Told her I knew her buxom boobs were fake
She shrieked like a witch, burning at the stake
I turned to walk away
That's when I heard her say
"You'd better be afraid of me, Cupcake!"
I stopped and glared into her startled face
Susie cringed as I stepped into her space
I smiled with hands on hips
Laughed at her trembling lips
Then calmly whispered, "Name the time and place."
March 6, 2022
Tall Tales 1 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Jeff Kyser
Today’s the day that Henry’s 8.
He’s growing fast; we’ll celebrate
And though I love each stretch and stride,
A little pang can’t be denied.
The baby in my arms I rocked
As lullabies my mind unlocked;
The pudgy toddler on my lap,
Preferring stories to a nap.
The music classes and the gym;
(Though climbing high was not for him.)
The times when we would say goodbye
And he would follow us and cry.
Before the tablet and the Switch,
Together times were sweet and rich.
To be with Henry, sharp and bright,
Was absolute and pure delight.
Of course, he’s still the greatest boy
Who brings me lots of deep-felt joy
But as the years add up, I see
There’s much less time and need for me.
It should be thus; I can’t complain
And our connection will remain.
Yet as I glimpse back to the past,
I feel like it’s gone by too fast.
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