Susie, the Floozie
I had a rival whose name was 'Susie'
The streetwalker I'd nicknamed 'the floozie'
Through the night she would strut
Wiggling her pudgy butt
If only I'd been holding an Uzi!
One night Susie and I had quite a spat
She called me a brat. I chided, "You're fat!"
But when she pulled my hair
I felt my temper flare
Bellowed at her, "Susie, you're not all that!"'
She said I was such an annoying prig
I tore off her cheesy Barbie Doll wig
Her horse teeth were gnashing
as she lay there, thrashing
Squealing much louder than a suckling pig.
Told her I knew her buxom boobs were fake
She shrieked like a witch, burning at the stake
I turned to walk away
That's when I heard her say
"You'd better be afraid of me, Cupcake!"
I stopped and glared into her startled face
Susie cringed as I stepped into her space
I smiled with hands on hips
Laughed at her trembling lips
Then calmly whispered, "Name the time and place."
March 6, 2022
Tall Tales 1 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Jeff Kyser
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