Phone Bill Poems

Teenagers

Teenagers 
Tired of being harassed 
By your stupid parents 
Act now 
Stuppidly wanted 
Pack your bags and your irrigants 
Get up off your ass 
Get a job 
Fill out an application 
Pay your own bills 
Because you know everything 
You know more than me 
Your phone bill will sky rocket 
I don’t have a clue 
I don’t want to see red sirens 
Put your big boy pants on 
Don’t ask me for any more money 
You can pay for your very own $900 rent payment 
Don’t forget a roll of quarts for the laundry matt 
Use paper plates 
Don’t be crying to me 
I don’t want to hear it 
You are dying for your own independents 
It’s time to do adult things 
Enjoy

Spiritual Healing For An Over Fifty

When once upon a time one had to knock at your friends door to see if they were in because your parents had put a cap on the phone bill to stop you ringing  ....
When you recycled your bottles of pop for pocket money, a halfpenny for your fruit salad chew and you couldn't resist a black jack that turned your tongue blue ..   
When your first job was picking fresh organic field mushrooms for the local grocery , a Tuppence a punet was plenty ....
When you helped the elders of your community across the road because their glasses were stuck together with sticky tape balanced on their nose ......
When your friend called Cyril the dog taught you to swim in the river and the sea and you adventured in  the pond on your makeshift barrelled boat , your spirit was free swinging on a rope amongst the river trees ...
When it was safe to walk to the park through your village , your community ,and you know you felt  safe  because everyone knew , you see ...
When the day finished off with scraps wrapped in The Sun newspaper shared amongst your friends whom you spent climbing trees navigating yourselves scumping apples over the old mans private fence ...

Kill Bill

Hydro bill
Visa bill
Food bill
Toilet paper bill
Heating bill
Wine bill
Car bill
Phone bill
Clothing bill
Duck bill
Buffalo bill
Entertainment bill
Anti acids tablets bill
Insurance bill
Bar bill
House bill
Weed bill
Bakery bill
Starbucks bill
Medical bill
Psychotic drugs bill
Dental bill
Legal bill
( for murdering dentist)
Lawn bill
Maid bill
Sexy maid bill
Super sexy maid bill
Misc hookers bill
Feminists lawsuit bill
Internet bill
Cable bill
Speeding ticket bill
Second speeding ticket bill
(to pay first bill)
Drivers license bill
Tic-Tac bill
Kidney replacement bill
Second wine bill
Netflix bill
Barber bill
Uber bill
Russian translation bill
Predator Bill
Y-Bush bill
Donald Trump
Assassination bill
Legal bill
Alimony bill
Stormy bill

We'Ve Got Everything

I’ve just lost my job at the cafe in town,
now you’re telling me the cars broken down.
The phone bill has come; what are we ‘gunna’ do,
I need a new dress and the rents over-due.

And you say to me with one of your smiles
“Don’t worry Darling, we will survive”.
I look out the window, hoping to see,
beyond the pane (pain) a giant money tree.

But we’ve got each other; hearts still on fire.
Long night’s together; warmth and desire.
Loving that’s strong with room yet to fly -
we’ve got everything that money can’t buy.

I know what you’re saying; I’ve heard it before,
and so I don’t think about money no more.
The bread lines our base; it’s easy to see,
that hard times for us are just meant to be.

But we’ve got each other; hearts still on fire.
Long night’s together; warmth and desire.
Loving that’s strong with room yet to fly -
we’ve got everything that money can’t buy.

Man a Yard

Man a yard help mi fi understand what a gwan in yuh ministry 
A set them set yuh up ar' a lie yuh a tell bout yuh phone bill run up 
Data... A wah that?    
Over 8 million dollars,  mi can't even tell yuh how mi disappointed inna yuh 
Mi a live hand to mouth and yuh a give FLOW 8 million dollaz
Shake Mi head 

Mi just eat piece a bread no money fi buy butter
No money fi pay fi the little one bedroom,  over Portmore
Mi drink a glass a wata to wash dung the bread... Thank yuh Lord 
Shake mi head 
Life rough... Hand to mouth is how I live 

8million could pay off fi mi little house and help Paul fi finish law school and yes,  help Miss Brown with her cancer treatment 
At 74 mi coulda stop sell newspaper.. 8 million dollarz... Them news people must a read wrong... 8 million dollaz? 
Mi disappointed in yuh man a yard, mi need fi hear what a gwan in a yuh ministry ar' a lie yuh tell 

Mi nuh understand this data ting 

Mi just know 8 million would help mi condition 
Life rough... Hand to mouth is how I live

Horizontally

The nucleus of a pin cushion is akin to the internal mechanisms of a sausage. A big massive drama but don't tell Dalai Lamar and the turtle doves will sing and swing in the breeze. A damsel in distress is a fruit pie filling times ten. Or perhaps twenty? But never pickle a grape drop from a left handed swing. Butter melt circumference could stand over a crevasse and stand tall in any glowering wind. But a flowery jacket that tangoes with a nice tiara is a gatepost of which there omits a smell of strawberry flow. Flee frames who arrive in hallways. And chatter no more than five minutes with a towel. Heard hedgerows having heated heaters. Implacable inner impala. And a sixty foot dog woofing to a tree. The tree woofs back for woofs are woods and woods are woofing. Great.fantastic. Circular c I a in a cake clapping. And an itemised phone bill is a book beyond a bongo. Bing bong butt. And a moronic mutton motor going broom broom brum. Fishcakes can be dangerous so put hazard lights on. Merely a fable. A saucepan. And a dish. Meeting. Meringues moving. Hahahaha tea towel trowel. Haha haha xxxxxxx restitutional p y q q yp. Xxxxx horizontally z

Phone Bill

i can't sit still
or have a chill pill
if my phone is kill
right away mabe the same day
i do the lords will
and pay my
PHONE BILL

Little Marie

Little Marie
Is a pretty little girl
With baby blue eyes
And big, blond curls.
She does her homework
And reads about Rome.
But oh, you should see her
When she is at home!

She screams and she cries
And she yells at her mama.
Simple family dinner
Often turns into drama
About who-gets-what
And who-sits-where.
And if Marie's not satisfied
She pulls her sibling's hair.

She kicks what she wants
And hits what she will.
Rips and tears
Her family's phone bill.
She breaks dozens of glass
With each passing week.
And once drowned the family cat;
She called it a worthless freak.

But if these horrible things
Were told to others,
They'd  just shake their heads
And mutter,
"Little Marie
Wouldn't do such things.
She's so sweet
To her family she'd bring

Happiness and fortune
She'd be their dream come true.
I do wish she's my little girl,
Oh yes, I do!"
And then they'd pat her little head
And she'd skip away with grace.
But they won't be able to see
The smirk on her face!

My Last Hour

My last hour will be selfish
Silly songs, souveniers of mmmbops
Even the distortion will distort
So what if the neighbours complain.
They just need patience
I won't be long.

I'll pee in the local swimming pool
It can be my legacy
I'll phone random people in Hong Kong
And reincarnate into a fly on the wall
To watch the faces of my phone bill providers
When they realise I won't be paying this month.

I'll pluck up the courage to tell you
That I love you, always only you
I'll not pay for my groceries.
I can't be imprisoned now.
I'm as free as I'll ever be
I've seen all I'll ever need

20 July 2011

Telephone

TELEPHONE
I will wait for the phone to ring
       Without a dial tone!
Did I not pay my phone bill?
Ring! Ring it's the  TELEPHONE.

 A very unusual way to leave the world.
       Let's all thank,
 ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL.
For one of the world's best inventions
The most valuable means of communication.
      UN-great-full we are,
Abandoning the telephone in every nation
We now consider the cell phone a better creation.
What happens to talk to our friends from home.
Now you are talking while pumping gas at the gas station.
Driving around while talking on the phone.
You don't care about your situation.
Just as long your antenna is not on roaming.
What happen to s.o.s. Communication.
Now we TEX with addiction.
Do not forget about the phoning internet.
Do not forget about the year1876.

    SKAT

Bills, Bills, and More (****) Bills

Infrequent quarters sink toward the depths of desolate sweaty palms  
Glum thought manufactured from the mind merge with my palm’s pond 
I clinch my hand draining sweat, for those required quarters mustn’t be lost
I got bills to pay 

Pride forbids me from parental based funds
It would only mean they were right 
So I sit lost in thought
 Trying to squeeze dollars out of dimes
Dam I got bills to pay

Regret mingles with my melancholy filled thoughts
The fast food industry wasn’t that bad
Yes it was but it paid the bills
Should I have a talk with the landlord or the holy lord 
Wondering which would be most effective
Damn I got bills to pay

It’s so expensive just to get by in today’s society
They tell me I have free speech and charge me for a phone bill
They tax the essentiality of life such as water
They would charge for your thoughts if they don’t already
But no need to complain because that only emphases strain 
But dam I got to pay

I Need To Move On..

I just Need to move on with
my life,even tho i will miss him.

I needed some space
thats what i said n the phone. 
one time i was one the phon for 4 hours
and is he worth the hight phone bill i dont 
think so....

Couch Sleeper

He eats
Never pays
He sleeps
Never pays
Life is good on his side of the boat
He speaks 
Pays no phone bill
He bathes 
Buys no soap
Smells good
Buys no colonge
Calls the place he lays his head home
Never thanks anyone for what he given
In his mind it's owed for being born
He leaves many people scorn
Relationships torn 
First to eat and last to clean
A bully
Future jailburg
NO ONE SHOULD GET A FREE RIDE!

Faithful

Learning to let your words
stand as spoken,
a broken place in my heart 
is reaching to find hope
in an inhospitable space. 
I sit in my bed and dread, 
searching for the bravery 
to accept comfort in your reassurances.

I have always wanted to believe.
Ripped out of the wall and disconnected, 
the hum of the radio cradled me,
waiting for my cheating husband to 
come home and discuss the phone bill.
The torn red vinyl seat 
of an after-hours diner
steadied my hand 
as my best friend disclosed her betrayal.
Taped and tied down in a corner
you can find a very small and unnoticed
me, praying to never be 
brought back to these places.

Roused from jaded reflections, 
I find myself so in love with you 
that I have to leave it be.
I sip tea and breathe in
the peace that only trust brings.
Faith is intangible.
It is as conceptual and euphoric
as forever, or always, 
or happily ever after.
If faith is believing in something
I've never seen before, then I will have faith.

Mail

Every Thursday
Evening
I check my 
Mail box.
I get fourteen
Between
Brochures
And mail envelops.
first, 
I toss
The brochures
The rest:
My car insurance
Monthly
Payment plan
Bill,
One mail from
A life insurance,
A credit card offer
From bank one
With 9% rate,
For six months, and 
No yearly fee,
A phone bill,
Power bill,
Charity donation,
The last one 
Is from the 
Land lord
He sent
New lease 
Renewal
He added $70
Over the last year
Rent.

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