Dog Parody Poems

Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon--had no fiddle,

The little dog laughed, got smashed as a Poodle,
the cow laughed...

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Figure it factual,
the gingham dog and the calico cat
did NOT eat each other up like the Dutch clock told the story.

Because of loud snoring,
Old Dutch...

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News is abhorring
And so boring
Starting from the break of dawn
I think we need
To be indeed
Vaccinated for the yawn

They always try
The same tired lie
Their old shtick...

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...But of course the sun banished the moon,
Ripper woke his normal size,
his stomach quite big from the rib roast,
but otherwise he seemed fine.
At first, I...

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It was probably three weeks ago
when I sent my dog outside,
he had all of his business to do,
then he’d come in for the night.
I busied...

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[ to the tune of My Favorite Things ]

Raindrops on dew drops and ponds formed by puddles,
Praising when phrasing bewilders, befuddles,
Nice sounding lyrics that don’t...

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man, man

you search yourself and you search yourself for life
the same as when macaca is searching for lice:

- with the monkey sister you nibble on...

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What you say to a cat what a cat thinks

I want to lick everything you look at everything there’s nothing over there for you that’s...

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One day when the sun seemed hotter than hell,
at lunch, pre-teen Goldibear started to yell.
"Who's fixing my sandwich, who's warming my soup?
and ice cream! ...

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Man, it’s been four long dog years!
Forlorn doggone tears
of toil 
and trouble

It’s a flee collar fact,
this feels like forty years
of Sirius jaw smack:

Loss leader of...

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Mama I Want to Play… with apologies to Frank Loesser

Layla, my puppy: I really can’t stay
Me: (But Layla I asked you to)
I wanna go play
(Oh...

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Right Hand Twist
With a twisted sexuality like that
Anything was possible

Especially when you were called Zenky
And were from Oldham

The most deprived town in England
But that doesn’t...

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Whit dat tight till - say
yes, aye wool thank ewe
mooch at least for today
hoof fully (this Joe kerr)
can easily bide his time weigh
beef hoar rammy...

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Spoiler Forewarning Alert!

This averred title announced straight
away so lingering fans
(hoop fully letting me abbreviate)
a short cut so ye
can up and evacuate,
while metered time,

not yet foregone...

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I hate corn kerneled poo
Dogs in a zoo
Horse resourced glue
I do.
And I hate you.

I hate piss from a jar
Crashing my car
A stinky cigar
It's true.
And I...

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