Right Hand Twist

Right Hand Twist With a twisted sexuality like that Anything was possible Especially when you were called Zenky And were from Oldham The most deprived town in England But that doesn’t matter For only personal attributes do He has a big four inch tool And a single shrunken nut Which he uses to grind local slinkies Especially big fat ones on the dole Zenky lives with his mum and sister His dad did one when he knew the truth So the lad grew up scared and confused But learnt how to use a glass and bottle And had a quick eye and hand to shoplift Never doing a day’s work When there was the dole And sex in exchange for drugs That is why Zenky swings both ways He goes pubbing and clubbing And fighting and bonking in varied bars Getting a local slag in places like the Cabaret and Candleight Getting a gay blow in Henry Afrika’s and the Dog and Duck Getting a very bad beating in the Footballers and the Mess House Getting a big drunken dream to leave Oldham and then sobering up Returning to his normal lying devious twisted self When dawn light broke over the dying town Oh blithering hell! I’m still in craphole Oldham Good job I’ve a gun I’ll either rob a bank or commit suicide Where did I put my joint? And I’ve six tins of Special Brew...