Right Hand Twist
Right Hand Twist
With a twisted sexuality like that
Anything was possible
Especially when you were called Zenky
And were from Oldham
The most deprived town in England
But that doesn’t matter
For only personal attributes do
He has a big four inch tool
And a single shrunken nut
Which he uses to grind local slinkies
Especially big fat ones on the dole
Zenky lives with his mum and sister
His dad did one when he knew the truth
So the lad grew up scared and confused
But learnt how to use a glass and bottle
And had a quick eye and hand to shoplift
Never doing a day’s work
When there was the dole
And sex in exchange for drugs
That is why Zenky swings both ways
He goes pubbing and clubbing
And fighting and bonking in varied bars
Getting a local slag in places like the Cabaret and Candleight
Getting a gay blow in Henry Afrika’s and the Dog and Duck
Getting a very bad beating in the Footballers and the Mess House
Getting a big drunken dream to leave Oldham and then sobering up
Returning to his normal lying devious twisted self
When dawn light broke over the dying town
Oh blithering hell!
I’m still in craphole Oldham
Good job I’ve a gun
I’ll either rob a bank or commit suicide
Where did I put my joint?
And I’ve six tins of Special Brew...
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