Child Parody Poems

Mary possessed a ruminant child
its fuzziness was sickly pale
and as Mary moved about 
the child would take the same trail.

He tracked her to a learning...

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Away with the fairies
No sense in my head
“Just feathers and sawdust,”
or so my mum said

With vacant expression
I stared into space
She said, “I won’t do much
For...

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To your place, pass negative noon. 
As the moon drifts over the loss...
images of a different life swimming.
In the depths of the ones fevered past.
Catching...

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O Christ Child Devine
One enchanted night came sweet Angel singing
Proclaiming peace was descending down to earth
On wings of love a baby boy was winging
Souls filled...

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A parody of ‘Once In Royal David’s City’

Once that rascal, David bit me
On a mattress in a shed
Nine months on I had a baby
And my...

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What you say to a cat what a cat thinks

I want to lick everything you look at everything there’s nothing over there for you that’s...

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I know what it costs
to parent a tyrant
24/7
52 weeks/year
and yet avoid judging,
feeling guilty,
self-blaming shame
for all I am not sufficient,
yet.

I remember learning curious distinctions
between genuine remorse
given,...

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[A parody of Mistletoe and Wine... apologies to Sir Cliff]
[‘Chorus’ indented for easy skipping if desired]


This night it will bring, a venomous sting
His life is...

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Who would lay claim to know, 
The greatest story ever told,
Perhaps Homer Simpson Doh! 
For none else is so bold. 

It would take a mere...

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A pot of stew. 
Made with meat. 
Meat and more meat.
I am hungry. 

What is for dinner, mother?...

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“Dad, do you think I am a dolichocephalic?”
“I’m busy,” his father replied.
“You do not have to sound euphoric,” the six-year-old said.

The state inspector closed his...

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It's amazing what parents will do to their kids,
Pay a doctor to lie so their child need not serve
His own country in war! Fake bone...

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Hare trigger instincts
always served Roger well
He had an oh, no-no lettuce nose — 
a hyper-keen sense   when to leave
Roger was rabbit good
at knowing...

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Sans Whole Body Out Of Country Transplant

hmm...methinks mebbe aye
can empty the ocean
     one teaspoon at time bine bye
and after about
 ...

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expecta O' Greta great dep·re·depta
snitchie fumes crud 

Senate weaselin' words

mosaic-speak fungals thrall-truth up your nostrils
unmasked civil·a·tons 

square crotch per smile

poeta decepta leaks India unda bear
panda...

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