Yellow saw me arrive here,
with trust and an open heart.
It never thought so many would walk away.
Yellow heard the whispers first,
before I even knew their names.
The stories kept changing on their own as they spread, and kept shifting.
Outside the doors, Yellow stood,
voices coming and going.
It waited there for someone
to just stop and look closer.
Yellow sat with me at night,
when sleep would not come near.
It knew some words leave wounds no one can see, but still feel.
Yellow still looks down the road
while people pass by without stopping.
It holds what I went through inside…
some days it gets too heavy to carry.
A thick porcelain shroud in a diamond vial,
Dabbing conceals the bruised moon beneath each socket,
A fine white mask stifles the shine,
Carving canyons to mimic where the pulse has retreated,
Brushing of a counterfeit fever upon the apples of the cheek,
Before a stroke of stardust illuminates the stifle,
Sweeping the lids with the velvet,
Ink the margins of gaze with a raven’s sharp intent,
Until the final petal of crimson seals the kiss,
The mirror reflects the tragedy of gravity claiming its heavy prize,
And beauty really is pain.
stand trial VICTIM
abused accused guilt shame blame
Fearing never more
Your color-bled cloth
Just rips at my stitches
I’m monotone; a moth
Calling out to you
With my heavy, little wishes
Fed a steady diet of tweed coat pockets
Bleached in forever stains
And tie dye kisses
In whole, I find a part of me
Your heart sorely misses
Amends for all the faint mistakes
Unearthed while I was bluffing
I perch upon your buttons now
Whispering sweet nothings
Your pettiness is soaking through
Neglected, I’m in love with you
In debt to all your gems
Ugly-headed beauty kills the demons
Yet you’re dressed in them
Another thread of fabric
Slipping from your hem
At least that’s where it seems to me
Your problems mostly stem
Floating and receding
Through the headwinds I’m receiving
Tossed into a better time
Where all your soapy bubbles
Stung my eyes and pierced my stubble
Left me weak and kneeling
Between the lines, my soul would cry
But moths were never known for feeling
I’d crawl to find a warmer spot
Deep inside your shell
Ferocious in its absence
There was solace in your smell
Now my hunger softens
If only for a spell
Who you wished for me to be
Oh, I could never tell
Pressure in a crowded mind
A test where rest is hard to find
The guilt that comes with procrastination ,
Leads me to kill my imagination .
“Be the best”, they say. But do they know
The pain I suffer each day I grow
They see the grades, the smiles , the light
But do they see the fright I fight each night.
Pressure is all they give ,
But it’s so hard to live
Within the calls of my heart,
Urging me to restart,
Restart with what I want to do,
Instead of being so timid and blue ,
I want to get lost where the children run,
Trade all my worries for some fun.
Amidst the pressure I will find my path,
And not worry about the aftermath
I will run to where I belong,
Where being the imperfect me is not wrong.
His tie knotted tight at the collar
pinches the neck, he’d love to holler
Her corset pulled tighter than a drum
she’d like to scream, but can only hum
No sacrifice too great, who worships fashion
midnight hour aches and pains ~ faces ashen
I’ve no one to talk to and it’s bringing me down
Can’t be myself so I try on someone else
But the outfit never seems to fit
Too tight
Too suffocating
And I can’t breathe
Makes my waist look small and my chest look big
It's what everyone else wears
And I'm told to fit in
I hate it but- no one cares
We look so alive but we are all dead inside
The pain is irrelevant
The suffering is a consequence
We cast no eyes to everyone else
And only a blind eye to ourselves
When I die I hope for my ancestors to read this
But I know
That they won’t care either
My Brain is on Fire
My Thoughts are blacken and cracked
My Soul is trapped in a mire
My Body feels racked
I am forever changed
Am I forever lost?
I am forever deranged
Am I knowing the true cost?
Oh God, what is the plan
Why could I have not been hit harder?
Oh God, I do not know where it began
Why could I not have been smarter
I wish I could find peace
Maybe just find some release?
She has no face in the world,
Not even a mask to cover this
Scarlet letter riding her back--
How do you erase that sign
But by hiding in the corners
Of your mind,
Blind, deaf and dumb,
Climbing among the numb dead
Folks, who have no clout,
No doubts that they're fodder
For the massive heart attack
Society blends in pots
Of despair, dread and broken dreams, are shot.
The fires that starts in the mountain slopes is a darkness of heat that floats your boat. The USA has seen many of these and the dramatic burns that fry’s the trees. The smoky air pollutes the sky as the fire fighters fight with their precious lives. It’s a dark Day here in America that eats our flesh with a mouth full of the corona thats so easy to catch. This world has seen enough of pain with vicious fires that stops our gain. The only one who can save us now is Jesus Christ as he calls us by name with a mighty sound. God Bless and keep on fighting!
I like being a woman in a men s world.
The world think that.
the woman is weak and wan,
with no strength.
What an illogic logic,
it seems like it is a creep and cheap world.
How would they know that,
how it fells being bleeding five days every month
and still, they think
we have no strength.......
I dreamt that we were really free
Like the soaring birds in the air
We were standing under the mango tree
And finally the world was fair
I dreamt that we freely showed our love
We touched and kissed in the gardens
The birds peacefully sang from above
And we didn't share the world's burdens
I only wish dreams came true
We'd have a life where only happiness flows
The sky would always be blue
And we'd never have to face life's blows
But they'll only ever be dreams
We gotta learn to live with guilt
'Cause our forbidden passion's full to the brims
And we'll wonder why the world's so unfairly built...
I don't know if I told you this already,
But it is a mistake to love me.
My parents did. They now regret it.
My Grandma did. Now she's in pain.
My family loved me, now they reject me.
It is a mistake to love me.
The thing is I don't love back.
I do know that.
I don't really know how to love another.
I'm not human, I just look like one.
If you love me,
Don't be expecting me to love you back,
I won't even fake it.
I'm selfish. I'm evil.
Cuz I know all that but I won't change a little.
Sometimes I want. I even try.
But my heart seems so frozen and hard,
I don't even imagine putting a crack
Breaking it down, and letting someone inside
I don't love. I can't love. And I'm not sure I want to.
Don't love me. No. Don't ever love me.
It will hurt me to see you try.
See you expect something out of my heart
Only to get mist and a heart colder than ice.
Am I wicked? No, I'm not.
Its not intentional, it's not aforethought
But no matter how much you try
You won't break the ice over my heart.
Maybe I was born so. Maybe nature made me cold.
Maybe I might care about you a little bit.
Yes, a little bit,
Like a prized possession.
In my mind's contorted eye
My heart laments for our generation
And generations to come
In my mind's disgruntled eye,
I see squalor and poverty in Sudan
I see disaster, hunger,
Consuming, scavenging, rampaging
The bowels of our land
My heart weeps for the oppressed,
Displaced, and brutalized
In my mind's injured eye
I see the ruins of Bosnia
And the bloodbath in Grosny
Yesterday was Somalia, today Afghanistan
We all are engulfed in a bitter, unending race
In my mind's tired, confused eye
I see resigned, helpless faces
Of a saturated generation
Waiting hopelessly for the final
Chiming of the clock
I feel the tinge of pain again.
No,it isn't the wounds that hurt,
But everything else-
The look of sarcasm,
The look of disgust,
The silence of loneliness,
The winds of abandonment,
The occasional frown,
The nameless torture,
The unwanted shameful fame,
The experience of impaired humanity.
As I feel the rope tightening round my neck,
I enjoy the painful bliss;
I pass into the unknown-
Nameless.
Weak.
Stripped of respect,
Of dignity,
Of all things human.
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