Do people lie to each other — because —
Truth — is too bright — a Star —
That dazzles — eyes accustomed —
To softer — Shadows — are —
Do people lie — because — they fear —
That naked — Words — might bleed —
Or — Hope — like fragile Porcelain —
Might crack — beneath the need —
Do people lie — to keep — the Peace —
Where Tempests — long — have stirred —
To smooth — the rough — Humanity —
With one — unfaithful Word —
Do people lie — for Love — perhaps —
To guard — another’s Pain —
And — in the tender Falsehood — find —
A mercy — dressed — in Shame —
Yet — Truth — like Morning — patient stands —
Behind — the curtained Sky —
And — one by one — we lift — the Veils —
To see — what cannot — Lie —
I have been to the depths of despair
With physical pain
Emotional sorrow
And something more elusive
A sense of standing at the edge
With nothing behind or beyond.
I don’t assume this is anything special
In fact I assume it is a given
For all of us
Who have lived at least
To a certain age.
What I have learned
Which may be of some solace
To those in these depths now
Or there someday soon
Is that we can endure more pain
Than we ever could imagine
And that when our life ends
As it eventually does
That pain is gone
As if it never existed.
(8/23/25)
AFTER TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY MANY CHANGES OCCUR FOR ME IT WAS COPING WITH ANXIETY VERTIGO ATTACK WHERE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE ALWAYS ON A LEDGE FINALLY THE GROUND COMES UP TO MEET YOU THERE I WAS STANDING ON TOP OF A FLIGHT OF STAIRS RECOVERING FROM MY INJURIES FROM THE CAR CRASH PREPARING MYSELF FOR MASS SINGING IN THE CHIOR WHEN THIS OVERWHELMING FEELING DIZZY FRIGHTENING I FELT MYSELF FALLING I TRIED TO GRAB THE RAIL THERE WAS NO RAIL I FELL FROM THE TOP OF THE STAIR CASE TO THE CONCRETE GROUND FRACTURING HIP PELVIS LAYING THERE WITH INTERNAL BLEEDING PHYSICAL THERAPY CHIROPRACTIC CARE ORTHOPEDIC CARE NOW THE BONES ARE DEFORMED SEVERE PAIN AND SUFFERING I'M BLESSED MY HUSBAND TAKES GOOD CARE OF ME SURVIVING A CAR BOMB CRUSHED EYE SOCKET FRACTURED NASAL ARCH TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY I EVEN INJURED MY HIP FRACTURED HAND I TWO STROKES LEARNING TO WALK AGAIN I NEVER DREAMED I'D BECOME CRIPPLED JUST WAKE UP AND CAN'T MOVE MY LEGS UNABLE TO WALK UNABLE TO MOVE MY LEGS MY LOWER BODY GAVE OUT SEVERE ONGOING PAIN AND SUFFERING RECEIVING CARE SICKNESS AND HEALTH ANTHONY AND YOLANDA CATHOLIC WAR VETERANS
space is where i stare into
a throbbing headache seems to be what is on the menu
i am lying to the best thing that has ever happened to me
all because my extreme inner fear became my bully
i guess i was in God's Good Graces at a particular moment
i got away with a lie that could have been devastating
miraculously i have a chance to save face completely straight, though bent
the lesson being taught by leaps and bounds was definitely hesitating
eyesight lost each day
hearing following right behind
coming clean is in the form of paid bills and importantly paid rent
i conquered my greatest bully....once again at the expense of ME
("Under a Swirling Sky" 2013, original acrylic, pen and ink)
Crazy Diamonds
To ride with bliss and lie in peace
Is the measure of a life well lived.
Does this mean there will be no pain
As one goes from joy to joy?
Of course not, pain is the condition of all mortal beings
And remains even when suffering becomes optional.
But still anyone’s life is much more than pain and suffering,
And a well lived one is much more than just any mere mortal’s!
Without adversity we would never find our inner strength,
And without inner strength we would never persevere.
But persevere in what, to what end, you ask?
Here we enter the door to our own heart.
A door every hero knows is their own
While it serves the same purpose as any other.
Of all the sages perhaps Pink Floyd said it best,
Nobody knows where you are, how near or how far.
And so what else is there to do, but shine, right now
To ride with bliss and rest in peace.
(7/22/24)
The larval stage that insinuates
a protective agony made of silk
Interlaces incipience quilted diametrically
Which twitches against cogitation and reasoning closing in...
The same as guilt
Or what guilt started as.
Unforeseen contingency's photo flash
An illusion based on disappointment.
Crime.
Each searching for a way to Each searching for a way to multiply
Or the beauty to escape life's cocoon
without wings.
Moving without strings guided towards confusion.
The maze made of milk.
So I tell myself, "Everything will be OK."
But why do I feel worthless...
When what I'm getting is good for me?
Surprise! Feelings don't change until you do
Society fakes the facade as usual
And crime stays...
So I use words as wings and fly, fly away.
2/4/2016
I feel the pain
I should not bare
I am suffering heart-brokenness
To young of an age
but I'm still here
I will not give up
I will feel the pain and just turn the other cheek
I suffer
So i can become stronger
I;m still here
I will not give up
My life may seem painful
My suffering seem long
But I'm still here!
I WILL NOT GIVE UP!
I will feel the pain
and I will suffer
Through tick and thin
Knowing your always there
In my heart
I AM STILL HERE
Life, bring on the pain and suffering
(Dedicated to Derek (D.J.) Risinger and Grady (Paw-Paw) Risinger. Always in my heart!
Pain And Suffering Is
All That I Can Fell Now My
Mind's A Drama Station My Hearts
Blown Up Into Infinity Pieces My Soul
Is Empty My Life Is Gone With The Wind
As I Cut My Left Arm One Hundred And Twenty
One Times Their Are No Scars Left Behind As
My Life Less Body Sails Across The Blood Ocean
Of Many Souls Of Forgtton Love And Lost Hope For
Loved Ones To Return To Them All I Have Left Now
Is Pain And Suffering.
Pain bonds my words as my tears remain unnoticed
My soul buried in an unmarked graveyard that no one bothered to open
But still my heart is cages unable to speak of the pain trapped in my veins
My eyes continue to hold personified sorrow reflected in a damaged soul that I claimed
And with those very eyes forsaken poetry is written although forbidden
The pain and suffering shall continue as long as the truth remains hidden
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