Off The Peg Poems | Examples


The Penguin - Long Version

THE PENGUIN

Way down south on a continent frozen
The penguin a tough life has chosen
Though you’d think he’d be coy
Like a super-cool playboy
You’ll find him out preening and posin’

With movement on foot unexciting
He shuffles along then goes sliding
Though on land a slow coach
In depart or approach
In the water he goes like greased lightning

He’s a little short in the leg
Dressed bespoke (can’t wear off-the-peg)
Hand it to this ice capper
He always looks dapper
Even when he is hatching an egg

So the penguin’s no slouch, he’s a winner
By sartorial standards no sinner
He’ll emerge in a trice 
From the Antarctic ice
Already dressed for dinner

Vertically Impaired (Englyn Unodle Union)

I wish I could grow a bit
so my legs and jeans would fit
without using sewing kits or iron hem
just once them jeans would fit.

I wish I was five foot four
or maybe a little more
I could wear fashion galore, off the peg,
I beg, two inches more.


Male Formalities

Excuse me Mr Penguin,
in your formal black attire;
are you going to State Occasion?
Do you mind if I enquire?

Is it for a Mansion House Banquet,
Hunt, May or Common Ball?
Do you wish for specially fitted,
off the peg, or off the wall?

For this kind of dress is most reserved 
for when Black Tie,-DJ's not suffice,
and even for dinner, dance or prom,
you need to look just nice!

But Sir there's quite a difference,
it's important that you see,
if you turn up quite understated;
you'll look as plain as me!

I see you like the morning suit
that's used for daytime wear,
by males at wedding party 
or occasion needing special care.

I rather like those long black tails,
black tie, white shirt, top hat,
with fresh clean socks and nice new shoes
Yes, you'll look quite smart in that!

Thankyou, now is there something else,
like men's accessorie?
I'll wrap them up and take your cash,
Then rub my hands with glee!

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