I'm struggling with the life I live.
And depression consumes me.
There's no escaping these troubles,
at least not that I can see.
My only choice is to ride out
this raging storm of no hope.
The devil is taking aim at me.
I'm in the crosshairs of his scope.
The struggles of life overwhelm me.
To find seclusion for myself is a must,
and honestly, it's a dangerous risk
because it's myself I cannot trust.
I'm forcing myself to ignore my thoughts
that are swarming around my head.
If I were to give in to them,
there's no doubt I'd be dead.
Life has become a tug of war.
For me, it's between life and death.
I've been so close to dying before
that I have seen the river Lethe.
No Love No Hope
My heart and soul are wistful
It is God's love I wish for.
If His grace and mercy were withdrawn,
All my hopes and dreams would be gone.
Without my faith to sustain me,
it is melancholy I will be.
The foreseeable future would be gloomy,
Would say those who knew me.
Doubts, pains and prayers left in a shroud,
Is no way to live and should not be allowed.
No love no forgiveness leads to depression
I need a distraction from this dissatisfaction
These are my true feelings
Things about me I will not be concealing.
The idea makes me feel grim,
I could use an uplifting hymn.
All those movie characters
Crying in the shower
Definitely staged
But guess not
Short fits of panic
Fizzing in the steam
My lifelike dreams
Scare me
Waking up
Between dreams
To realize
You were never there to begin with
Never there for me,
When I needed you most
Yet the warmth, the smell
Felt so
Seemed so real
It’s a shame
Your words were somewhat of comfort
And there were bejeweled moments
That I treasured
But they’re all gone now
Can’t go back to what it was before
Those who break my heart
Thrice,
Fivefold,
They are done for
The fantasical school life
The fall festivals
All of my own concoction of
My subconscious
My past
Haunts me
This Halloween
My thoughts
Petrify me
Nostalgia mixed with
Bubbles of
What coulda, shoulda, woulda happened
I pause in my own thoughts
Falling
Are the role models
I’ve looked up to
Where are they now
There are no heroes
Everyone is human
And somehow that is
The most frightening
Somehow hope is lost
My anxiety
Creeping on me
And I am losing it
I am probably losing it
And I just wish to god
Things would
Get better
Superbly Pretty
Pretty dance of laser fire
Multi coloured megawatt beams
Frying all they touch
Superbly pretty yet evil
Beyond Hell the capability
Fired from orbiting spaceships
Close to a planet
Or a galaxy away
Up close is good
See the results
The planet melts
People are gas
It's over fast
There is always a time when we all lose hope,
As if we are climbing a mountain and we lost our rope,
As If nothing can go right..
As if we are lost in dark and unable to find our light...
As if every bond or relation we have is just a lie,
And we don't have the strength to ask why,
There are many who are waiting for us to speak,
But we stay quiet,because we are afraid to be weak,,
As if we are waiting for someone to understand our silence
And read our eyes,,
As sometimes words are not enough, says the wise""
Anonymous_writer
As I look into your eyes it's dark it's night blinded there's no hope~
If L is for Love, than H is for hope.
Without hope in God we have no hope at all.
Without hope in God we have no hope for a better tomorrow.
Without hope in God we have never ending sorrows.
Without hope in God our candlesticks fail to brightly burn.
Without hope in God our hearts yearn for peace, hope and love.
Without hope in God there is no hope of everlasting life.
Without hope in God there is no inheriting the kingdom of God.
Without hope in God we perish forever in the second death.
Without hope in God we will never enter the kingdom of God.
Without hope in God we will never see our heavenly paradise.
Without hope in God we will never have forgiveness from Jesus Christ.
Without hope in God the memory of us will become forgotten by
our redeemed loved ones!
Love in Christ Jesus!
Roxanne Lea Dubarry
Roxy Lea 1954
Roxy 1954/ October Country
June 23, 2020
I would like to be not a hater
And it would be great,
But I met you a week later
than it was too late.
I guess, everything did happen
how it used to be,
And Cupid's got useless weapon
as it seems for me.
Oh my god, it could be groovy,
But you did pass
without hesitation through me
and there's no us.
They told me hope's an entity
So I went after that vanity
That I lost my sanity
Fraught became my specialty
Now I lack originality
And every sense of humanity
Every day starts with a hand full of pills,
medicated; he has no hope of thrills,
his life is Spartan, without any frills.
My visits are his only source of joy,
he looks like a man, but he is a boy,
and gets all excited over a toy.
He loves his father, and I love my son,
but all too quickly, my visit is done
and he can hardly wait for the next one.
Seeing him smile tugs upon my heartstrings,
he's an angel, and though life clipped his wings,
he's learned to live with whatever fate brings.
(Tristich)
7/20/2018
witch hazel has come
the ghosts are green with envy
how blue their spirits
10/22/2017
the dispassionate color of no hope
has only walls of empty bedim white
the statutory color of no hope
has manifestation of a smudged life
the offended color of no hope
has mud stained dimming souls
I have destroyed the rest of the poem
so that, to say
that when i am destroyed there will be
no more words, that I will be able to write...
and you can not have them as
i can not have just-us
The door of my heart is closed
Love don't live in these walls any more
The walls are built on betrayal and hate
There is no room for love and hope
Darkness has taken over my soul
I am drowning in self-pity and defeat
No saving grace in my dark sea
Death is calling me
I am living but no life within my soul
Death is my salvation my only open door
There will never be a light in my heart again
My heart is a seed with no root, it's a stone
I have no emotions
The angle of death speaks to my soul
Loneliness is the gate to the grave
I am standing at the gate of darkness waiting on death
My grip is slipping
Thorns have all but severed my hands
Hope left me lonely
In the world I live in, I cannot practice my religion
The god I once worshipped is gone
In my world I cannot go pass the border
I can no longer see what’s at the outside world
My family cannot make their own love
Their definition of love is what our ruler tells us
My ruler treats us as puppets;
But my people think we are his children
The way our children were taught is false
We are banned from learning about the outside world
We are taught that the whole world is our enemy
I still believe deep inside that the world is good
Our only punishment is death
We cannot ask for mercy
In my world there’s no such thing as real happiness
All I see is darkness
All I see are fake smiles
All I see are people suffering from hunger
All I see are people asking to die
In my world there’s no hope
There will never be democracy
There will never be a savior that will end all this
I wish…
I wish I can live on the other side
Where there's no violence
Where there's food to eat
Where there's a quiet place to sleep
It’s already too late….
I’m stuck in hell
That I cannot change.
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