Before

All those movie characters Crying in the shower Definitely staged But guess not Short fits of panic Fizzing in the steam My lifelike dreams Scare me Waking up Between dreams To realize You were never there to begin with Never there for me, When I needed you most Yet the warmth, the smell Felt so Seemed so real It’s a shame Your words were somewhat of comfort And there were bejeweled moments That I treasured But they’re all gone now Can’t go back to what it was before Those who break my heart Thrice, Fivefold, They are done for The fantasical school life The fall festivals All of my own concoction of My subconscious My past Haunts me This Halloween My thoughts Petrify me Nostalgia mixed with Bubbles of What coulda, shoulda, woulda happened I pause in my own thoughts Falling Are the role models I’ve looked up to Where are they now There are no heroes Everyone is human And somehow that is The most frightening Somehow hope is lost My anxiety Creeping on me And I am losing it I am probably losing it And I just wish to god Things would Get better