Mother Hubbard Poems | Examples

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,  
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...
Or did he?  It's really hard to tell,
Though he was fractured all to hell.

Indeed, his personality was split.
He had less sense than an oven mitt.
When he went to London to see the queen,
I thought it best to intervene.

I summoned the king's men and horses -
Had any taken psychology courses?
"We don't know how to read and write, and
The king says we shan't be enlightened."

So, I took things into my own hands - 
Said, "you're Jack Horner, understand?"
Leaving the corner with some dame Jill,
He broke his crown, again, on the hill.   

I said, "man, you are accident prone"
He asked, "Mother Hubbard, where's my bone?"
Screaming, I ran as fast as I can,  
"This place is nuts. I'm the gingerbread man."

Refurbished Nursery Rhymes: Old Mother Hubbard, a Cautionary Tale

When Old Mother Hubbard
Examined her cupboard
And found not a scrap there to munch on,
Not one morsel that clung
To an ort or a crumb,
She felt foolish and dumb
And stood sucking her thumb
While her dog, Butch, got nothing for luncheon.
"She forgot to go shopping again," grumbled he.
She just scratched his ears sighing,
"Sorry, pal. C'est la vie."
When pangs of hunger are felt,
Humans tighten their belt,
But poor Butch started howling
As his stomach was growling,
For a mastiff has needs to be regularly fed.
So…since there was no baloney…
And…since she was nice and bony…
Mother Hubbard wound up on the menu instead.

This tale has a moral,
As some nursery rhymes do,
And this one's a little bit gruesome, it's true:
A pet owner's job's
To protect not neglect him,
So feed yours each mealtime,
For if too long overdue,
Your "Butch" might be inclined
To make a meal out of you.

Nursery Rhymes Revisited

Jack and Jill went up the hill
each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two fifty
don't tell me they went up for water!

Georgie Porgie 
kissed the girls and made them cry,
now he has to register as a sex offender.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
to get her dog a bone,
went she bent over, Rover came over
and gave her a bone of her own!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a bad fall
a victim of bullying!

3 blind mice see how they run
Farmers wife was armed with mace!

Little Miss Muffet sat on a Tuffet
eating curds & whey
along came a spider,
and she beat the crap out of it!

Mary Mary quite contrary,
the broad was hard to get along with!

Jack be nimble Jack be quick
Jack was too slow and he 
burnt his naughty bits!

Little Bo Peep lost a sheep,
check in with the horny teenage
farm boy next door.

We Paint Big Bad Wolf On Tuesdays

Humpty Dumpty has never looked this serene
You think so? I think he looks rather green.
I need silence while I draw said Mother Hubbard.
Her dog wandered off to sniff out her cupboard.

Papa bear asked if Goldilocks would be in today.
He liked drawing her, thin, trembling and gray.
The other artists glared at his gall, wishing him away.
He took a hint and wandered outside to play.

Red Riding Hood expressed relief at the still life.
She was scared of the wolf, he still brought her strife.
We paint the wolf only on Tuesdays Puss in boots said.
His paints were wobbling, blind mice shaking it in its stead.

Where is the Alice? Asked the white rabbit.
He stops by on Mondays which is always his habit.
She may stop by on Tuesday, want to paint with us?
“Not today,” rabbit said. “My missus is all in a fuss.”

Mind Tricks

when shelves are bare,
Old Mother Hubbard…
when bread, butter and eggs
only find themselves
on a politician’s spread,
will we still believe
what the Jedi says?

1/13/2022

Farewell Mother Goose Farewell 2020

Farewell Mother Goose Farewell 2020
David J Walker  (12/21/2020)

Old Mother Hubbard was
Dancing a jig
To a tune of long ago
The little dog laughed to
See her swig from a cup
Of his yellow snow 

While little boy blue
Was tooting his horn 
The cow jumped 
Over the moon
Little Bo-Peep was 
Singing forlorn to a year
That was out of tune 

And little Jack Horner
Abandoned his corner 
The candle had burned itself out
And three little kittens made 
Face masks of mittens
And went on their way about 

Then Hickory Dickory
 Annoyed with Dock 
Could wait not longer to chime
Pushed on the hands to 
Hurry the clock 
To end this weary rhyme

Audios 
	So long 
		Farewell 
2020
Aufweidersein
		Adieu
The clock will strike 
Your final hour
As we wave goodbye 
To you

Redneck Nursery Rhymes

Will the King’s horses or any of his men?
Ever stack those turds that high again.
A tit for a tat and Rooty Toot Toot.
The rats always follow the piper and flute.

Old mother Hubbard was all out of bones.
So, Rover took off to find a new home.
Little Miss Muffet with her bowl slightly turned.
Blows on her soup so she doesn’t get burned.

Now what’s in that hat? Could it be bearing claws?
Or is it just that old elf taking a short pause.
Redneck Rhymes are sure fun to find.
You can polish a turd but those three mice are still blind.

Rainy Day Sarcasm

mary had 
                                  a little lamb
                                  and a little mint jelly

                                  little 
                                  boy blue
                                  is choking

                                  old
                                  mother hubbard
                                  died…like i said...she was old

                                  im a little
                                  tea pot
                                  whatever…just make the tea

                                  there was
                                  an old woman
                                  see old mother hubbard…ditto

                                  little 
                                  jack horner
                                  in time out…kid is trouble

                                  humpty dumpty sat on a wall
                                  little miss muffet sat on a tuffet
                                  ...separate checks

Seal Feel

Tears in one's Beer
Over the 1 who got away
Are here to stay
So make hey while the sun shines 
This may take a while 
To find a replacement 
That don't come in the basement 
Bargain Bucket
Of lost property
Miss matches 
That barely patch
The itch that scratches
The mess
Her left dress
Holds in fishmoth holes
On a coat hanger
Hanging in a cupboard 
Old mother hubbard herself 
Would view as empty
In a cemetery of regret
Time won't heal
Nor Seal

Solutions To Old Nursery Rhyme Complaints

I've often wondered who dealt with
fairy tale complaints. There seems to
be a lot of them among the fairy tale
acquaints.

Here are just a few suggestions I myself
if could, would make and maybe fairy Tale
land would be peaceful for heaven's sake.

Old Mother Hubbard had no bones in
her cupboard and her dog has no bone.
We could offer her Pease pudding and even
if it is nine days old, I am sure the dog would
be happy with the old crone.

Peter Peter Pumpkin eater, put his wife
in a shell, there he kept her very well.
There's no time to plead and pine nor 
no time to wheedle, if she would kiss him 
quick, he would be gone, and pop would go
that weasel.

Seesaw Margery Daw, Johnny got a new master
johnny only earned a penny a day because he
could work no faster. He should take lessons from
Peter Piper who could pick a peck of pickles and at
it became a master.

There was an old woman who lived in a house
exceedingly small, a man open his mouth and
swallowed woman, house and all. Maybe he should
of had some of the King's Blackbird pie and he could
have filled his tummy instead with a pie full of caw.

Cinderella Trump

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Cinderella has just lost her Jimmy Choo's
As poor Prince Charmings face is a picture
Smelling the elixir of pumpkin feet
Resonating from a discarded single glass slipper

Fairytales exclude most details
Like dating sites and bad blind dates
Or droopy red roses and blue violets 
Sold from the back of an old pick up truck
Manned by a gypsy who has never sold flowers
Roses are Red 
Violets are Blue
If Trumps president
Then none of this matter's 
As old prince charming 
Gave Cinderella shoe
To old mother hubbard
To hide in a cupboard 
And this doesn't even make sense to me anymore
As im very very drunk
Sorry

Season of the Virus

Season of the Virus



The seasons shift as storms blow in,
falling leaves, thick as thieves, very bad men.

dawn rises early to watch the sun fall  fast,
winded trees, blowing things away from the past.

Winter knows as the snowman blows first light then thick,
Old Mother Hubbard, empty cupboards, dying and sick.

Next seasons breeze an unavoidable sneeze, a virus sets in,
hot then cold, there's no one to hold, in lonliness my friend...

Dieting

Dieting

sure enough
lost five pounds the first week
no money back
no money back the next 51 either
dr.slim getting rich

cold turkey
the only way to go on a diet
yes    says dr. slim
but put it between two slices of bread
and you’re screwed

the world
is full of starving people
so says t.v.
it’s terrible says marge
stuffing down her 4th taco

Lost

last night playing poker
i lost everything
my mortgage    my car
and yes    you *****
your alimony check too

lost childhood
mother hubbard
boy blue
the entire familiar crew
and adultery doesn’t help the now

Dave Austin

Yesterday's Words Change

Nursery rhymes in today’s times....
As seen through my eyes....
Go something like this...
With a brand new twist....
Little Jack Horner sat on a street corner....
Drinking from a paper bag....
And when he returned home from Viet-Nam....
All the government did was give him a Flag....
Old Mother Hubbard....
Went to the cupboard....
To fetch her kids some food..
When she got there....
The cupboards were bare....
So she had to go on Welfare....
Jack and Jill went to the top of a hill....
To fetch themselves some bottled water....
Jack tripped over some tools of Tom Sawyer....
And now Jill is looking for a good lawsuit Lawyer....
Jack Spratt could eat no fat....
His wife could eat no lean....
And now they too will sue....
A company called “ Lean Cuisine “....
Now I could go on...
But with this I will close....
Just thought I would share....
It’s a totally different world out there....

Little Boy Blue

Little Boy Blue,please cover your nose
You sneezed on Miss Muffit and ruined her clothes
You sprayed Mother Hubbard and now she is sick.
You put out the fire on Jack's candlestick.
Your sneeze is the reason why Humpty Dumpty fell
You drenched Yankee Doodle when he came to town.
The Blind Mice are "angry"
The sheep are upset
From now on use tissue so no one gets wet.......

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