Don't frequent Mickey D's very often
But today had a Sausage'n Egg McMuffin
Yummy yum yum
Cries from my tum
Could eat those calorie carriers by the dozen
Sure don't frequent Mickey D's very often
But today had a Sausage'n Egg McMuffin
Yummy yum yum
Cries from my tum
Could eat those calorie carriers by the dozen<>
Her given name was Anna Abigail Logan,
But to family she was Foo Foo,
Trot-a-dog, Scruff McMuffin, Nose Brain,
Poo Dog, Annie Bananie, Snarf Dog,
Anners, Baby Girl, and Lovie.
A tiny fluff ball with black button eyes,
She had no brakes at first.
I sat on the carpet by the fireplace to play.
She would run full speed at me,
Crash head first into my outstretched leg,
Fall over, jump up in flash motion,
Then tare off in circles of fun.
She was an ambassador of love,
A warm little lap-sized giving machine.
She had no fear of strangers.
Hugs were pets and she collected them
From everyone, everywhere,
Giving back sloppy wet kisses
Whenever she could get a good lick in.
A silver miniature Schnauzer of merit,
Supreme friend and companion extraordinaire.
With a nose that came out to greet you,
Big bushy eyebrows and a deluxe beard
Dangled in her water dish,
Dripping after a good drink.
She walked on log legs, cylinders of long fur.
Perfectly groomed, sniffing air and thick woods
Or snoozing with Mom in her favorite chair.
Good-bye dear Annie Dog. We will see
You on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.
An Egg McMuffin, hash browns and a coffee
Without this yummy brekkie, my day starts off rocky
Can't say I'm addicted
But helps me get untwisted
A day without brekkie is like a kick in the floppy
Sure don't frequent Mickey D's very often
But today had a Sausage'n Egg McMuffin
Yummy yum yum
Cries from my tum
Could eat those calorie carriers by the dozen
There are only guys
to my surprise. I,
the token woman, up early
A.M. to the company of men,
breakfasting in the fast track
restaurant of choice-- me
and a million hamburgers
served, it's said. Two men
read scripture in tandem:
neither one the boss, occasionally
marking a passage with a pen
after a sip of coffee and a bite
of sausage, hot pancakes,
maybe. Wonder if they knew
520 calories on the menu,
300 on mine, coffee negligible,
so am I eligible for extra
blessing? The java's good, and
not to be rude, I memorize
nothing but an Egg
McMuffin.
Seven A.M., feet on the floor, pajamas in-car
for a favorite drive-through fast-food treat? No,
it's the coffeepot, and turn on the broiler, less of
a spoiler, but kudos in Heaven. Breakfast's in the works,
she'll reserve the perks, (pardon the pun,) for when Mass
is over. For now, the egg fries, but the 'frigo' door spies
no cheese for the muffin, What? no fatted calf?
and even worse, no Half and Half. It brings back
the chorus in "How to Succeed in Business," the lament
of the scent of No Coffee, NO COFFEE! But memory
reminds of a Champs Elysees' Ave., where an American
institution gave restitution to exiles like her in an
elevator ride under upscale retail, its costly fashions
to Golden Arches beneath Paris town, destination
a Mickey D's you can't imagine: rows of televisions
ornamenting each wall, an Egg McMuffin perk
in easy reach, and a coffee bar, its center station
a Gallic invention for the hurried intentions
of blase' Parisians on their way to work.
.
Maurice Mc Muffin ate nothing but stuffin’
He wouldn’t eat meat fruit or veg
His mother went potty it turned her quite dotty
And was tipping her over the edge, so
She thought up a plan to provide the young man
With food both nutritious and yummy
Using her skill and determined to fill
That unhealthy space in his tummy
In her kitchen domain she vowed to remain
Whilst weaning him off of his diet
Trying all recipes and hoping to please
And praying that he would just try it
One day she was cooking and when she weren’t lookin’
Young Maurice crept in through the door
He tasted some pud and he found it was good
Saying “Mum can I please have some more”
Mum jumped for joy because her little boy
Found some food that he wanted to eat
Now he’ll scoff anything that his mother can bring
As long as it’s sticky and sweet
(This is a fictional poem)
When I go on a date, I make the girl order the cheapest thing on the menu.
They usually walk out the door before the dates have a chance to continue.
My last date ordered a meal that costed a hundred and ten dollars.
The owner threw me out on my ___ when I started to holler.
The price of an egg McMuffin is about as high as I'm willing to go.
When I ask the girls out a second time, they slap me and say no.