Mastercard Poems | Examples

perk of being retired

I used to have a medical co-pay when I had a job
sometimes it was thirty-five dollars, other times it was seventy
Now I have a Medicare card and supplemental insurance
Guess what?
My MasterCard can sleep
there is no co-pay
no money from me required at all
really?
Wow!
Good enough
a perk of being retired

More Phoney Money

My wallet is empty of cash
When it appears which is rarely
I usually give it away 
Doesn’t really matter, not really 
It’s gone as soon as I get it anyway
It never lasts but that's okay
Besides, I have plenty of credit 
VISA, MasterCard, Discovery 
And the more I “spend” 
With that lending hand 
The more trust I build 
Upping my score.  Score! 
Up the stakes, wait, change the rules? 
Now, it’s me who can’t trust, who? 
Sky rocketing interest rates 
A debt that’s out of control 
Taxing me everywhere I go 
The scam’s all decorated
Beautifully choreographed   
Beautifully camouflaged 
All alluring, so endearing 
As I assume my plastic smile
 
At my recently installed
Big beautiful screen on the wall.

Zelle or Venmo

Before I had a credit card,
My car, newly repaired,
Required cash to pick it up
And I was unprepared.

I borrowed money, then I got
A MasterCard - hooray!
It changed my means of payment,
Which I still do use today.

Along with checks and cash, that card
Could pay for all I’d need
And up until quite recently,
It seemed that way, indeed.

But then there was some money
That I wanted to convey
And a credit card or check 
Just wouldn’t be a way to pay.

Then how ‘bout Zelle or Venmo?
Was the question I was asked.
Alas, I called my son and 
For this favor, he was tasked.

It isn’t fair that things that worked 
For years no longer do
And with this new technology,
I do not have a clue.

i'm addicted to females

.

if they're from a country other than usa though
                 they'll have to have 
                          the visa
                  
                             or
                    the mastercard 




*whut  .)

market share marathon

With takeovers bankers are set
But Capital One's is a threat
Owning Discover
As surrogate mother
Makes Visa and Mastercard sweat

Fiscal Calisthenics Or the Bill Paying Blues

The thing I least look forward to,
The root of my financial ills,
Is the vile administration
Of my monthly pile of bills.

You'd think a single guy like me,
Whose needs and wants are all but nil,
Could whiz through funds manipulation
When it comes to paying bills.

It's the interest on the principal
Of credit card accounts that kills
And perpetuates extenuation
Of MasterCard and Visa bills.

Man cannot live by cash alone,
Hence the propensity of credit mills,
And the gross accumulation
Of large revolving charges bills.

But when statements say there's naught to pay,
Oh, how that "zero balance" thrills!
No refund as remuneration,
Just dismissed from that long list of bills.

My credit's good, I shouldn't brood
Upon this fiscal tribulation,
But if I had my druthers,
I'd druther hide out in the hills
Than face the monthly calculation
Of my bills, bills, bills.

Fed Up

Fed Up (with the Shutdown)



Go to work everyday,
but I don’t get paid
MasterCard creditor chain letters
said I was a New America
	    debt slave

Was Union told the Federate zeroes
on my paycheck is retroactive
Ain’t got no money to buy food tho’ ... 
guess I have to survive 
on government 
          sound-byte fumes to live

I’m fed up with the Federal shutdown,
I’m sick and tired
of listening to Dem Republican clowns

Been going to work every unpaid day,
and I ain’t noticeably gotten any
Benjamin balm better
So weary from getting frozen wages — 
I seek chimney heat,
by bitterly burning those personal 
property auction letters

Was blue blot told the blank gray zeroes
on my pay stub is rebel non-negotiable
Ain’t got no cash to purchase gas tho’ ... 
guess I gotta suck up
mo’ government 
          sound-byte fumes for po’ survival

I’m fed up with the Federal shutdown,
I’m hurting from hearing
White House noise by Congress clowns

Go to work everyday,
but I ain’t yet been paid
MasterCard creditor chain letters
said Freddie Irish me was a ***** Adopted
	    dollar bill slave

Let Us Say

Let us 'Say'

Tonight I saw a Christmas tree
hanging upside down,
and then I heard that there are memes
that Jesus had two Dads’.
All the while "It's Cold Outside"
is censored with a frown. : (
The gall to say 'Happy Holidays'
has truly made me sad.
All my life, I have seen the growth;
Diversified acceptance,
When suddenly, I am 'Privileged'
by the color of my skin?
The perfect man to lead the way,
instead, made 'all cops' bad
MasterCard and Microsoft
will merge your life, with pin
Oh, can't you see what's happening?
They're tearing us apart!
To abuse the first amendment, 
and take our guns away!
There's a war on Christianity,
a war upon our hearts
And if they break up "We The People",
the have-nots will be slaves.
They are cashing in our values,
but we cannot let this pass;
the perfect One to lead the way,
begins, with Merry Christmas!


© 2018 Jeffrey Spencer

Faith Without

Faith 
Faith without

Faith without works
Faith without works
is dead

Faith
Faith without
Faith without

A Visa/Mastercard payment
is no sale

Credit Card Hoodoo

Your new bank card is on the way,
praise god for all his/her ways
if you can't beat 'em join 'em (I say)
Oh lord have mercy on me.

Relax  you've got mastercard,
New fan dangles is your fate.
No worries about interest rate,
Oh lord I hope you are merciful.

Help your child to not lose,
these cards with too much loot,
and the card limit well overshoot
Yes Lord have mercy on me.

Alas, my card has been refused,
I curse the clerk who snipped,
"They want the card ripped,"
Sob, have so much mercy lord.

No card now, such a relief,
Eat beans and rice and believf.

Cleo Claus' Christmas In August

Mrs. Claus' Christmas In August
The work is done, and it was fun,
the elves are taking naps,
Sneaky snores, from all the chores,
but Pooky's runnin twenty laps;
Rudolphs light's out for the night,
and Boopsie is so glad,
the elves now rest, what they do best,
wore out from all the fun they've had,
and Mrs. Claus, is glad because
Santa's MasterCard she found,
she's hooked the reindeer to the sleigh
and Cleo Claus is goin' to town!


Boopsie, Sneaky, Pooky and Showe all reg pending....the story developes....

Do It With Mastercard

I did it with Mastercard today
Makes it easier this way 
I come up trump 
With a free parachute jump
But alas been lunch for the crocs is a heavy price to pay

For Everything Else There Is Mastercard

No dollar bill or 'Mastercard' can pay
For pleasure found within your loving eyes
As lips first meet revealing passions' sighs,
The price of love I feel for you today.
Mere coinage has no grace or worldly charms,
A rose, no beauty set beside your heart,
For I can see no finer painted art
Than gently holding you within my arms.
If ne'er I see your raptured smile again
No 'Lawyers4you' who will compensate,
Nor breath of air could ever liberate
So never shall I even think of then.
No dollar bill or 'Mastercard' can pay
the price of love I feel for you today.

This and That

Yesterday I felt WONDERFUL!
No aches and pains
Happy
All signs of morbid paranoia    gone!
I could actually greet people
Offer a smile
                   while before……
Before?
Well………..
If they were laughing
                              they laughed at me
I counted my change
                                so carefully
Thought I looked like a patsy
Slouched around

BUT!

Today?
All the ‘slings and arrows’ return…..
Got up with a sinus headache
Cat crapped on the kitchen floor
Phone    computer    t.v.
                                       all connection
DEAD!
Car battery?
DEAD!
Wife left a note –
“Goodby FOREVER! you S.O. B!
Took her car
AND
My mastercard
ALL my money

Picked up a book
Forgot the title
So demoralized
‘Ping and Pong’
I dunno
I’ll call it ‘This and That’
Well?
I thought sure I was in the clutches of ‘That’
THEN    I realized
With a smile at first
THEN
A leap of JOY!
‘This’ is the day
‘That’ damn woman
Has kissed-off FOREVER!

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